Bonchon – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Hawkeye Pierce had a very unique (and very sarcastic) take on the Korean War: “I just don’t know why they’re shooting at us. All we want to do is bring them democracy and white bread. Transplant the American dream. Freedom. Achievement. Hyperacidity. Affluence. Flatulence. Technology. Tension. The inalienable right to an early coronary sitting at your desk while plotting to stab your boss in the back. That’s entertainment.” History has shown there was prophecy in his words. After thousands of years of civilization, South Korea now has donuts, quesadillas, pizza, cheeseburgers, fried chicken nuggets and all the fast foods which have wreaked havoc on America’s gut microbiome.  Hawkeye might term this cynically as the realization of the American dream. To…

Gigi Italian Bistro – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

“If you can go through with what Gordon Ramsey puts you through there’s nothing much more you can do. I mean the berating from that guy is unbelievable, but the reward is even greater.” ~ Chef Robert Hesse Veni, Vedi, Veci (I came, I saw, I conquered):  Chef Robert Hesse, the superstar consulting chef who launched Gigi left Albuquerque in February, 2019. The review below was based on three visits to Gigi when Chef Hesse prepared our meals.  In light of his departure, I have removed the rating of “26” I accorded Gigi and will update my review accordingly after my next visit. Chef Robert Hesse isn’t the man he used to be. In fact, he’s literally and figuratively a…

Walker’s Popcorn Company – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Who doesn’t love popcorn? Along with hot dogs, apple pie, hamburgers and barbecue, it’s been an American favorite–or should I say tradition–for generations. A humble treat, popcorn can grow in other parts of the world where other corn can’t. It was grown in the Americas, China, Mexico and India long before Columbus journeyed to America. According to urban myth, it was brought to the “first” Thanksgiving” (at least the one taught about in history books) by the Iroquois and since then, a tradition has existed of bringing popcorn to peace negotiations as a token of good will. Today Americans consume over seven billion quarts of popcorn every year. For generations, throngs of Chicago residents have stood in long lines to…

Plum Cafe – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

“The branches of the aspen plum To and fro they sway How can I not think of her? But home is far away,” – Confucius According to Urban Farm Online, “plums were domesticated in China more than 2,000 years ago and have figured in written documents since 479 B.C. These fruits were the plums Confucius praised in his writings and the ancestors of today’s Asian plums.” In China, plums symbolize good fortune while the blossom of the plum tree is considered a symbol of winter and harbinger of spring. The Taiwanese consider the plum blossom a symbol for resilience and perseverance in the face of adversity during the harsh winter. In both Korea and Japan, the plum blossom also symbolize…

Las Ristras Restaurant – Corrales, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Based on interviews conducted with Hollywood luminaries who’ve starred in movies or television shows shot in New Mexico, you might think our state either doesn’t have a symbol of hospitality or that symbol is something as poorly representative of the Land of Enchantment as crack (Josh Brolin), tire stores (Jonathan Banks), shirtless drivers (Seth McFarlane), Walmart (Jessica Alba) or loudness (Tommy Lee Jones). With all the tax breaks and enticements afforded film production companies, shouldn’t its most visible beneficiaries at least have something nice to say about New Mexico? While New Mexico doesn’t have an official (as in legislatively decreed) symbol of hospitality, most of us recognize a ristra hanging on a doorway as an invitation to visitors, ergo a…

Farmhouse 21 – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

I love Italian food but that’s too generic a term for what’s available now: you have to narrow it down to Tuscan, Sicilian, and so on.” ~ Lee Child, Author “You don’t want to be the guy who follows a legend; you want to be the guy who follows the guy who follows the legend.” That tried and proven sports adage applies in every walk-of-life. Indeed, if you’re the person who has to succeed a beloved living legend, you’ll invariably hear about the gigantic shoes you have to fill. Your every move will be scrutinized and your every failure magnified until you prove yourself worthy of breathing the same rarefied air as the icon you’re replacing. It’s not a challenge…

The Birds Paradise Hot Pot – Albuquerque, New Mexico

It was 2:15AM on a workday, a full four hours before my dreaded alarm clock was set to utter a tone surpassed for annoyance only by the screechy prattle on The View. Inexplicably my brain decided it was a good idea to play deejay and serenade me with Sukiyaki, the only Japanese pop song ever to top the charts across the fruited plain. Yep, my mind had been invaded by an earworm, a song that sticks with you long after the note is played. Akin to a broken record (millennials may have read about “records” in their history books) scratching the same chords over and over again, earworms can be nostalgic and pleasant or annoying and torturous, especially when they…

Rock & Brews – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

“I wanna rock and roll all night and party every day.” ~Kiss For generations, American teenagers have undergone a rite of passage that has contributed greatly to their angst. That rite of passage is the ego-deflating criticism of the music they enjoy. Just as our parents hated the music we listened to, we hated the music our own children enjoy. It just seems ingrained in their DNA that parents will hate the music their children enjoy. Parental disapproval of their progeny’s choice in music probably achieved its heights (or low point) in the late ’50s when rock ’n’ roll was considered “the devil’s music” and Elvis’s gyrating pelvis was considered downright obscene. Music—whether it be punk rock, hardcore, rap, reggae…

Mogu Mogu – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

In the 1970s, comedian Norm Crosby based his schtick on the use of malapropisms (the mistaken use of a word in place of a similar-sounding one, often with unintentionally amusing effect). The “master of the malaprop” would mispronounce keywords in familiar idioms and clichés, in the process giving new meaning to what he was trying to convey. Here are some examples: As a famous stand-up comic, he appreciated standing “ovulations” when he performed. When his dad explained the facts of life to him, his dad drew a big “diaphragm.” When he went to a tailor, it’s because his pants needed an “altercation.” When people couldn’t read or write, Crosby attributed the problem to “illegitimacy.” In real life, however, most people…

Forghedaboudit – Deming, New Mexico (CLOSED)

NOTE: While the Deming location of Forghedaboudit is permanently closed, you can visit this fabulous Italian eatery at its Las Cruces location. Several years ago, former New York Times food editor Sam Sifton posited the “Pizza Cognition Theory” which declared “the first slice of pizza a child sees and tastes (and somehow appreciates on something more than a childlike level) becomes, for him, pizza. He will defend this interpretation to the end of his life.” Because Sifton grew up in Brooklyn Heights, New York and was exposed to great pizza at a very early age, the Pizza Cognition Theory makes sense It makes sense, in fact, for everyone whose introduction to the sheer magical deliciousness that is pizza transpired at…

Hello Poké – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Ask most professional restaurant critics where to find the highest rated or best restaurant across the fruited plain (or even in their locality) and they’ll likely steer you in the direction of some highfalutin restaurant serving haute cuisine prepared by (or at least named for) a celebrated chef. With an exclusive wine cellar showcasing fine aged vintage, these white tableclothed pantheons of gastronomy are altars of excess. Obtaining a table could mean several months on a waiting list and a meal could set you back the equivalent of two months in groceries. For most of us dining at such establishments is a rare event reserved for special occasions. The difference between professional restaurant critics and the general dining population is…