Quesada’s New Mexican Restaurant – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

When we get together, native New Mexicans of my generation who grew up in the state’s mountainous regions sometimes reminisce about trudging a mile or more in feet-deep snow to get to school.  We wonder how we survived the furious snowstorms which killed  reception for weeks to all four (yeah, four) Albuquerque television stations in the dark, pre-historic days before color television (not to mention, cable), the Internet and iPhones. Mostly, we trumpet the fact that we were  weaned on chile–and not just any chile.  We grew up eating the most gastronomic distress-inducing, tongue-searing, sweat-arousing chile possible–the type of chile which embodies the axiom that with some New Mexican food, pain is a flavor.  Listen to us and we’ll  have you believe that in comparison, the  stuff served in most  New Mexican restaurants today is as wimpy as ketchup and as piquant as spaghetti sauce. Thankfully, the Internet has provided visual–albeit Photoshop image manipulated–evidence of the incendiary stuff on which we were weaned. A frequently forwarded image on many computers depicts a jar of Gerber Picante Sauce, but instead of the familiar cherubic baby with the tousled hair, pursed lips and smiling eyes, the red-faced baby on the manipulated image is in obvious and alarming…

Calico Cantina & Cafe – Los Ranchos de Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

The first time my friends and I visited the Calico Cafe at its original Corrales location, we wondered if the restaurant suffered from an identity crisis. Exterior signage read “Calico Cafe” but the menus indicated we were dining at “Cowgirl’s.” Apparently the restaurant was initially christened Cowgirl’s, but a name change was court-ordered after a naming dispute with Santa Fe’s long-established Cowgirls BBQ restaurant. On December 2nd, 2004, the popular and intimate lunch and breakfast restaurant owned by Corrales residents Vernon and Angel Garcia, was consumed by fire. In 2006, the Calico Cantina & Cafe launched in a new and much expanded location, the 19,000 square foot Village Shops at Los Ranchos–in the heart of the original Route 66. Coupled with outdoor seating in a spacious patio, the Cafe now accommodates as many as 189 diners. The Village Shops at Los Ranchos is a burgeoning complex usually beset by the parking woes of popular destinations. The Calico Cantina & Cafe is an anchor tenant along with its sister restaurant Vernon’s Hidden Valley Steakhouse, located directly behind the Cafe’s bakery. Vernon’s, patterned after a probation era speakeasy, can be accessed through the Los Ranchos Liquors store. Thematically, the Calico Cantina &…

Johndhi’s BBQ – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

With the wafting aroma of smoked meats, Johndhi’s, a charming smokehouse restaurant on picturesque Rio Grande Boulevard welcomes you to Bar-B-Querque, a well-earned and time-tested sobriquet. Known as Geezamboni’s since its inception in 1988 until a name change in 2005, Johndhi’s is a North Valley institution popular all year round. Owned and operated by John Nellos of Albuquerque’s first family of barbecue (the philanthropic Nellos clan owns three Quarters restaurants in the Duke City), Johndhi’s has an ultra hip, mega casual feel to it that belies the converted home structure in which it sits.  The artsy ambience includes French posters, multi-hued Mexican ceramic masks and pictures adorning the walls.  Strewn about the restaurant’s many nooks and crannies are interesting accoutrements such as an antique telephone painted in colors I often saw on a hippie bus bound for the Hog Farm near Peñasco where I grew up.   The framed poster most appealing to foodies like me depicts Dagwood Bumbstead precariously perched on his tip-toes on a chair with his trademark, multi-story sandwich in one hand as he reaches for a jar of olives with the other. From the outside, Johndhi’s has the appearance of a family home.  There is no glaring, sensory-bombarding signage screaming at passers-by telling…

High Finance – Sandia Crest, New Mexico (CLOSED)

“Getting high” on cannabis is known for increasing appetite.  According to High Times, a New York based magazine which advocates the legalization of marijuana, scientists now know why.  Those scientists have uncovered the part of the brain which makes cannabis users get the munchies for chocolate, pizza, peanuts and more.  It’s hoped that this discovery will help in developing pharmaceuticals to prevent anorexia and obesity. In New Mexico, the term “getting high” sometimes has different connotations–without the psychoactive effects but with the unfailing effect of getting the munchies.  That’s because getting high often means high altitude dining–at least that’s what it means to savvy diners who recognize that food seems to taste better at high altitude. Here’s some anecdotal evidence.  At the top of Pikes Peak, the Summit House lodge serves donuts that some people consider a highlight of their visit to Colorado’s most famous mountain.  At 14,115, high altitude recipe adjustments have to be made in order to achieve the crispy edges and sweet, soft innards of these fluffy, well-risen, ring-shaped, doughy gems.  If you bring them down to the lower elevation (7,200 feet) of Colorado Springs, they’re no longer fluffy or nearly as tasty. For getting high to…

Evergreen Buffet – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

America held hostage!  That was the aptly named title of an ABC late-night news program anchored by Ted Koppel from November, 1979 through January 20, 2001.  For 444 days, the mighty United States of America was indeed paralyzed while 52 Americans were held hostage–tied and blindfolded–in the U.S. Embassy in Iran.  The captors were student revolutionaries incensed at the United States decision to admit Iran’s deposed Shah for medical treatment. The moment Ronald Reagan took the oath of office, those hostages were released.  An adoring nation welcomed the returning heroes, lavishing them with gifts and accolades.  Among the gifts was a tiny box from Major League Baseball commissioner Bowie Kuhn.  Within that box was a lifetime pass to any major or minor league baseball game. Upon hearing of this, then ABC college football analyst and avowed baseball hater, the irascible Beano Cook remarked, “haven’t they suffered enough?” Beano’s sentiment is my first reaction whenever I hear of a new Chinese buffet restaurant launching in Albuquerque.  In truth, however, Chinese buffet restaurants are so well patronized in the Duke City that the only suffering that occurs is after the meal.  That’s when gastroenterological distress sets in which prompts diners to lament…

Brasserie La Provence – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

The French have long cultivated the idea–some would say myth–that their cuisine is the very best in the world. This self-aggrandizing hype has been carefully and condescendingly orchestrated for centuries. Even Alice B. Toklas, the American writer far ahead of her time (in 1954, she published a literary memoir with a recipe for “hashish fudge”) was caught up in the myth. Toklas wrote “The French approach to food is characteristic; they bring to their consideration of the table the same appreciation, respect, intelligence and lively interest that they have for the other arts, for painting, for literature, and for the theatre.” Where other nations prepare and serve food, the French festoon the tables with cuisine. Where cultural mores in America take a relaxed approach toward table manners, the French insist upon prim, proper and prudish etiquette at any repast. Where Americans practically inhale their food, barely stopping to taste it, the French savor their food. They actually focus on it and give themselves time to enjoy each and every morsel. Where our blood pressure elevates if we’re forced to wait more than two minutes at our fast food drive-ups, the French set a time and place for eating. They actually…

Mangiamo Pronto! – Santa Fe, New Mexico (CLOSED)

At first browse of a directory listing Santa Fe restaurants, the entree “Mangiamo Pronto!” (an Italian term which translates to “Let’s eat now!) might elicit the impression that the City Different has an eatery offering Italian fast-food: post-haste pasta, accelerated antipasto, insalata al instante.   You get the picture. At Mangiamo Pronto! you certainly won’t find desiccated pizza slices seared to a leathery sheen under heat lamp infernos just waiting for the next drive- or walk-up victim, er…customer, nor will you see a nattily uniformed wait staff running amok trying to fill orders even as new ones come in at a breakneck pace. Mangiamo Pronto! is, in many ways, the antithesis of a fast-food restaurant–even though entrees are prepared in advance then heated upon order.  In fact, one of the first things you see as you walk in is a glass case displaying the gustatory bounty d’giorno.  It’s almost as if the Roman deity Bacchus himself laid out a sumptuous feast of engorged panini sandwiches crafted on crispy crusted focaccia, artisanal piadini arrayed with gourmet ingredients, diet-devastating desserts, soul-comforting soups, crisp salads and so much more. True to its name, Mangiamo Pronto! won’t keep you waiting long.  Only scant minutes will elapse…

Charcoal Mediterranean Grill – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

If comedian Jeff Foxworthy was Armenian, his repertoire of one-liners might include such gems as, “You know you’re Armenian if you have philo dough, string cheese or See’s candy in your freezer.”  Or perhaps, “You know you’re Armenian if you serve hummus and tabbouleh with your taco chips.”  Then there’s the classic, “You know you’re Armenian if you shovel food on other people’s plates when they aren’t looking.”  Who can forget the oft-told “You know you’re Armenian if you think pilaf is one of the four food groups.” A quick Google of Armenian food will return results that reveal Armenian’s self-deprecating sense of humor regarding their culinary culture.  Search results will also show the culinary influence of the regions and countries neighboring the ancient nation of Armenia.   Wedged in  what has been one of the world’s most volatile–some would say unstable–regions, Armenia is at the crossroads between the Middle East, Asia. Minor and Europe.  During the course of its storied history, Armenia was invaded in succession by Persians, Byzantines, Mongols and Turks, all of whom left their mark on the cuisine. It’s a Middle Eastern cuisine punctuated with dishes that are very aromatic and flavorful.  It is a cuisine that is…

Cafe Choroni – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

In the late 1970s before political correctness taught us how racist we all are, it seems every man born to the last name Gonzalez, whether or not they liked it, sported the nickname “Speedy.”  Speedy was, of course, the “fastest mouse in all of Mexico” in the popular Looney Tunes animated series.  The premise of the cartoon was that Sylvester, a tuxedo cat with an exaggerated lisp, terrorized a horde of mice trying to abscond with cheese from the cheese factory under his charge.  Only the intrepid Speedy, a sombrero wearing machismo mouse on perpetual hyper-drive could deter the “gringo pussy gato.”  Amid cries of “¡Ándale! ¡Ándale! ¡Arriba! ¡Arriba!” (colloquial Mexican Spanish for Come on! Hurry up!), the excessively energetic Speedy usually gave Sylvester a painful comeuppance. My Air Force buddy Vladamir Gonzalez wasn’t spared the sobriquet of Speedy, never mind that he was Puerto Rican and lived life as if conserving energy.  A gregarious, self-deprecating madcap, Speedy good-naturedly took liberties with his cartoon namesake’s trademark cry.  In his version, it was “¡Ándale! ¡Ándale! ¡Arepa! ¡Arepa!”  My friend, a man of many appetites loved the culinary standards of his beloved Puerto Rico: sofrito, black beans, yuca, plantains and especially arepas, fried rounds of…

Noda’s Japanese Cuisine – Rio Rancho, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Note: On December 16, 2010, Noda’s Japanese Cuisine, a Rio Rancho institution for a dozen years, closed its doors.  Owners Masayasu and Setsuko Noda have retired and will be relocating back to Japan.  It was initially announced that their son, an accomplished chef, would be looking for a new home for the restaurant many consider the very best Japanese restaurant in the state. Nearly five years later, we’re still waiting. Noda’s may very well be the very best Japanese restaurant in New Mexico, an off-the-beaten-path treasure whose unassuming facade belies sophisticated and wonderful cuisine.  Tucked away in Trinity Plaza, a nondescript shopping center, that facade is quickly dispelled when you walk in to a dimly lit dining room whose subtle, but romantic ambience and attentive, but not hovering wait service portend something special. Noda’s has become so popular, in fact, that in 2006 it expanded and now occupies the entire building in which it has been housed from its humble beginnings. At one time, Noda’s shared space with other tenants. Cherry blossoms, soft lights, hanging Japanese lanterns and subtle blue toned walls provide a tranquil environment ameliorated by the faint tintinnabulation of the dozens of wind chimes given to the…

Seferino’s – Rio Rancho, New Mexico (CLOSED)

One of the first things you notice when you step into Seferino’s New Mexican Restaurant is the large portrait hanging just above the hostess station of an avuncular bearded gentleman with an air of dignity and class.  Though he’s been gone for about a decade and a half and the restaurant which bears his name is in a new location, you can almost feel the comforting presence of Seferino Perea looming like a charming host bidding you welcome to his restaurant. Seferino’s daughter Cathy sports the same snowy white halo as her father, dignified argentine locks everyone should be fortunate enough to age into.  Cathy, who along with her husband Joe Guitierrez own Seferino’s is a frequent presence at the Rio Rancho restaurant her father helped start. The family patriarch, Seferino managed Perea’s restaurant with his son in Albuquerque before helping Cathy start up the restaurant named for him.  For nine years, Seferino’s was located on Rio Rancho’s main north-south thoroughfare, Highway 528.  A move to Southern Boulevard placed them in another heavily trafficked area and in an edifice nearly twice as large (4300 square feet) as their previous location (2400 square feet). Those comfortable confines served Seferino’s very well for years,…