Cafe Jean Pierre – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

A few years ago when France was the target of xenophobic sentiment and  some political commentators even advocated boycotting all things French, my vivacious friend Janet Resnik remained a fervent Francophile.  With the simple retort, “ah, but the food,” she found it easy to diffuse dour diatribes in which not a single good thing was said about France.  Not even the most ardent anti-French could argue that French food isn’t among the very best in the world. In Albuquerque, chef Jean-Pierre Gozard has been more instrumental than anyone in providing fine French alternatives to the ubiquitous chile laden cuisine that seems to define the city.  Chef Gozard started it all in 1975 with the launch of La Crepe Michel, a hugely popular restaurant that’s still going strong nearly four decades later.  In 1979 he opened Le Marmiton, one of the four or five restaurants I’ve missed most from among all those which have closed since we returned to Albuquerque.  From 1987 through 1995, Chef Gozard plied his talents in Casa Vieja, a Corrales landmark. After leaving Casa Vieja, it looked for a while as if Albuquerque had seen the last of the über chef, but in 2008 he turned up at…

Pacific Rim Asian Bistro – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

In 1520, after sailing past South America’s Tierra del Fuego and through a perilous strait which he named for himself, Portuguese explorer Ferdinand Magellan laid eyes on the expansive South Sea. At the time, the waters were calm and peaceful. He renamed it the Pacific Ocean (from the Latin Mare Pacificum which means “peaceful sea.”) Magellan vastly underestimated the Pacific, thinking he would be able to cross it in a matter of days to reach his goal, the Spice Islands. For most of Magellan’s four month crossing, the waters of the Pacific did little to belie the name he had bestowed upon it. During that crossing, however, Magellan and his men suffered terrible hunger. They ran out of fresh food and were relegated to eating grubs and rats. Unfortunately Magellan did not have the benefit of knowledge we now possess. We now know, for example, that the Pacific covers 32 percent of the world’s total surface and that it separates the countries bordering its western and eastern rims by eight time zones and the International Date Line. Magellan would be amazed that today, a sea crossing by the fastest ship will take a mere two week. There’s no way he…

Piggy’s Hot Dogs & Hamburgers – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

“What’s in a name? That which we call a rose By any other name would smell as sweet.” – William Shakespeare Certainly as a lexicologist, the Bard of Avon should know darned well that what something is named does matter…or maybe not so much.  In Waco, Texas, a burger joint has eschewed politically correctness by calling itself “Fat Ho Burgers.”  Diners line up for as long as an hour for burgers with such culturally sensitive sobriquets as the Supa Fly Ho (a single patty with cheese), a Supa Dupa Fly Ho (two patties with cheese), a Skinny Ho (no pickles and tomato) or a Dried Up Ho (plain meat with cheese).  The restaurant’s inclusiveness is demonstrated with a Tiny Ho burger, the Fat Ho’s kid’s meal. In a February, 2012 example of a restaurant living up to its name, a patron dining at the aptly named Heart Attack Grill in Las Vegas, Nevada, suffered precisely what the name on the marquee practically promises with meals that feature nearly ten-thousand calories: a heart attack.  The diner was merrily consuming a “Triple Bypass Burger”–one and a half pounds of beef and a dozen slices of bacon when he began complaining of chest…

Gregorio’s Italian Kitchen – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

 “The definitive recipe for any Italian dish has not yet appeared. We are still creating.” Luigi Barzini The categorization and labeling some diners tend to ascribe to Italian restaurants bespeaks not only of strong emotional preferences, but of an unwillingness to assign any merits to the “other side.”  At one side of the spectrum are the old-fashioned “red sauce” restaurants and at the other are Northern Italian restaurants.  To those who love red sauce Italian restaurants, they represent Italian comfort food in a festive and friendly ambiance stereotyped by red and white checkerboard tablecloths and bottles of Chianti at every table.  The menus–often green, white and red–feature familiar American Italian entrees such as spaghetti and meatballs served in profuse portions.  To its proponents, red sauce restaurants are homey, rustic and simple in the best sense of those terms. Detractors usually speak of red sauce restaurants in derogatory and condescending terms.  To its “haters,” red sauce restaurants represent overcooked, mushy pasta dredged in a profligate amounts of tomato sauce “gravy.”  This, they will tell you is low-end food served by Old World restaurants as opposed to the more sophisticated “cuisine” that draws aficionados to Northern Italian restaurants and their nouveau menu…

Hua Chang – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

1943’s Best Picture Academy Award winner Casablanca is replete with memorable quotes and scenes. Toward the end of the movie, reluctant hero Rick Blaine helps the beauteous Ilsa Lund and her husband, underground leader Victor Lazlo, escape to Lisbon. In a tearful farewell, Rick tells Ilsa she would regret it if she stayed. “Maybe not today. Maybe not tomorrow, but soon and for the rest of your life.” Having been tipped off to the escape, Major Strasser of the Luftwaffe drives up and tries to prevent it. Rick shoots and kills him. When the police arrive, the opportunistic French police Captain Renault tells them to “round up the usual suspects,” saving Rick’s life. “Round up the usual suspects” seems to be the unintended mantra of Chowhound and similar foodie message boards. Invariably, a list of “anointed” restaurants is repeated ad nauseam whenever a prospective diner asks where to have a meal. The list of anointed restaurants is short and it’s exclusive. It’s hard to break into the list and once a restaurant is on it, it might take an exposé of roach infestations for the restaurant to come off the list. When it comes to Chinese food in Albuquerque, the…

Pizza 9 – Albuquerque, New Mexico

My first review of Pizza 9 was written after my inaugural visit in January, 2009 at its original location in Albuquerque’s International District.  Three years later, there are nine Pizza 9 restaurants strewn throughout Albuquerque and Rio Rancho with a Pizza 9 planned for Santa Fe and “sky’s the limit” growth planned beyond that.  Even before Pizza 9 became a ubiquitous Duke City presence, my review engendered a significant number of visits and comments.  Today, this review is the tenth most frequently launched from among nearly 700 reviews on this blog.  More than 20 comments–some favorable and some almost inflammatory in nature–seem to indicate Pizza 9 evokes passion. What’s in a name?  According to an English bard and playwright of some repute, a rose by any name would smell as sweet.  It would be interesting to conjecture what William Shakespeare would have said about pizza, especially since the label “pizza” has come to mean different things, especially to proponents of two vastly different styles of pizza. In New York City, pizza is practically a religion with nearly than 1700 restaurants in “Metropolis” containing the words “pizza” or “pizzeria” in their name.   “New York style pizza”  has come to mean…

Marble Brewery – Albuquerque, New Mexico

Marble Brewery  in Albuquerque serves food, but typically through rotating local food trucks and limited snacks rather than a full in-house kitchen.Here are the details on food at their locations: Downtown (111 Marble Ave NW): Features a revolving lineup of local food trucks, including options like Don Choche, Tikka Spice, and Papa Cano’s Pizza. Westside Tap Room: Offers food trucks, with a permanent arrangement with Ironwood Kitchen nearby to provide food.< NE Heights Tap Room: Features food trucks and is located next to a Slice Parlor, allowing guests to bring in pizza.

Roper’s Restaurant – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Since the early 1980s when I was stationed at Kirtland Air Force Base, every vehicle I’ve owned has seemingly had a built-in auto-pilot with the destination 8810 Central, S.E. hard-coded. For years that was the address of the junior-most of two Albuquerque Milton’s restaurants, a classic American diner which consistently serves some of the very best diner entrees in the city. Milton’s was for me and my barracks-dwelling friends what Monk’s Cafe was to Jerry Seinfeld and his friends and what the Central Perk Coffee House was to the Friends cast. It’s where we commiserated with one another after a stressful day and it was where we celebrated good times. When I returned to New Mexico after three years in England, one of the first destinations on my agenda was that familiar address on Old Route 66.  Instead of friends who were no longer stationed at Kirtland, my dining companion was Kim, my bride of two years.  As with many people who grew up in the “Hog butcher for the world,” (one of several nicknames for Chicago in Carl Sandburg’s 1916 poem “Chicago”), Kim is an unabashed meat and potatoes lover.  The menu, an array of hearty and homespun comfort…

Cosmo Tapas – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Some of the world’s most elegant and refined cuisine has its genesis in very humble circumstances.  Today, Spanish tapas are widely regarded as sophisticated and exotic, but they didn’t start off that way.  In fact, Spanish tapas are an excellent embodiment of the axiom that when life hands you lemons, you should make lemonade.  The words “tapa” (singular) or “tapas” (plural) are derived from the Spanish word “tapar,” which means “to cover.”  In Spanish, a tapa is also the literal term for a “lid.”  How the word “tapas” became the term used to describe a popular epicurean craze is an interesting tale. It’s well established that in Spain, it’s traditional for many people to take an afternoon respite from the rigors of their daily lives and jobs to visit the local tavern or inn for snacks and refreshment.  In Old Spain, snacks and refreshment are inseparable, a tradition dating back to the Castilian king Alfonso the Wise who decreed that no wine was to be served in any inn throughout Castile unless accompanied by something to eat.  This precaution was to counteract the adverse effects of alcohol on an empty stomach. Observing that glasses of wine or sherry served to…

Mr. Tokyo – Albuquerque, New Mexico

In a 2011 interview, Green Bay Packers Superbowl winning quarterback Aaron Rodgers revealed that during the National Football League season, the comments he hears most often from fans and the questions they ask him most have to do with Fantasy Football: “Is Jermichael (Finley) playing this week?” “Who’s starting at running back?” Until rather recently, the questions most frequently asked this humble blogger were “what’s your favorite (restaurant or food)?” and “what restaurant would you recommend for a (birthday, anniversary or special event)?”  Those questions have  been supplanted by curiosity about Bob of the Village of Los Ranchos (BOTVOLR), the most prolific (126 comments as of this writing) commentator to this blog.  “What’s Bob like?”  “Where does Bob get his ideas?” “What are Bob’s favorite foods?” Bob’s comments are not only insightful and entertaining, they often reflect his civic-mindedness.  He’s an unabashed promoter of his adopted hometown of Albuquerque, greeting visitors to our fair city as an ambassador for the Albuquerque Convention and Visitors Bureau.  Although he’s quite fearless when it comes to trying new restaurants and food trends, some of his favorites include the old standards which have graced the area for decades: The Monte Carlo Steakhouse, The Dog…

Quesadilla Grille – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

 Grandma: “Tonight, me and your aunt are gonna go visit some friends and we’re not gonna be back till tomorrow. We’re gettin’ a little low on steak, so I got Lyle comin’ over tomorrow to take care of it.” Napoleon: “Well, what’s there to eat?” Grandma: “Knock it off, Napoleon. Make yourself a dang quesadilla!” Napoleon: “Fine!” “Gosh!”  It took a cult movie about a high school misfit lacking all the skills girls like–such as nunchaku skills, bow hunting skills and computer hacking skills–for the humble quesadilla to became a pop culture meme. Described by movie critic Roger Ebert as “the kind of nerd other nerds avoid,” Napoleon Dynamite was the quintessential dorky loser, a carrot-topped dweeb who lived with his grandmother and subsisted on a diet consisting largely of steak and tater tots. Napoleon’s grandmother not only dissed the quesadilla with the inference that this beloved treat is a dang second rate  afterthought, she had the effrontery to pronounce it “kay-saw-dill-aw,”  a pronunciation waiters and waitresses throughout New Mexico hear every day from visitors not necessarily from Napoleon’s home state of Idaho.  Because of Napoleon’s grandmother, Urban Dictionary now defines the quesadilla as “Something you want to make when…