Category: Rating: N/R (Not Rated)

AlbuquerqueBar & GrillNew MexicoRating: N/R (Not Rated)

Effingbar and Grill – Albuquerque, New Mexico

Gil Garduno10:49 PM

The late comedian and beloved social critic George Carlin might be surprised at how far America has come (some might say how much we’ve regressed) when it comes to uttering foul invectives, especially the “seven words” he postulated “you can never say on television.” While most of us still won’t vocalize the infamous “F-word” in polite company, its diminutive version has become part of our vernacular. Whether on screen or in print (or on shirts emblazoned with the abbreviation F.U. (which doesn’t stand for Florida University)) it’s “F this” and “F that.” It’s been said that the F-word is the most versatile word in the English language in that it can be used as an action verb, passive verb, adverb,…

Diners Drive-Ins and DivesFood Network Eats New MexicoNew MexicoPizzaRating: N/R (Not Rated)Santa Fe

Back Road Pizza – Santa Fe, New Mexico

Gil Garduno11:37 AM

My brother George has the right idea! Rather than braving the motoring madness that is traversing New Mexico’s highways at breakneck speeds and risking life and limb contending with America’s worst drivers (according to a 2014 report by Wallet Hub), he’ll take the back roads every chance he gets. Not only does he avoid frazzled nerves and minimize potential encounters with distracted, drunk and demolition derby caliber drivers, he gets to enjoy the scenery of enchantment and arrive at his destination unscathed. His blood pressure is better than mine. George will enjoy Santa Fe’s Back Road Pizza and not only because he doesn’t have to spend much time on Cerrillos to get there and not only because the street on…

CorralesNew MexicanNew MexicoRating: N/R (Not Rated)

Katrinah’s East Mountain Grill – Edgewood, New Mexico

Gil Garduno10:22 AM

It’s interesting that the New Mexico State Constitution bars “idiots” and “insane persons” from voting, but quips about votes being cast by dead people, family pets and farm animals have been pervasive over the years in some counties and municipalities. In some of the same counties and municipalities, the saying “vote early and vote often” has seemed more a way of life than an aphorism. Not all citizens of the Land of Enchantment exercise their right to vote, but some, it seems, exercise it vigorously…and often. Perhaps realizing the enthusiasm some New Mexicans have for the right to vote, the New Mexico Tourism Department allowed them to cast their vote daily for their favorite breakfast burrito in the statewide Breakfast…

New MexicoRating: N/R (Not Rated)Santa FeSouthwestern

Del Charro Saloon – Santa Fe, New Mexico

Gil Garduno5:12 PM

Can it truly be that the more things change, the more they stay the same? In 1776, Fermin de Mendinueta, governor and captain-general of the Spanish province of New Mexico, declared that “Santa Fe settlers are “churlish types” who are “accustomed to live apart from each other, as neither fathers nor sons associate with each other.” In 2013, Travel & Leisure published a list of America’s “snobbiest cities” and Santa Fe made the list at number five. The list was based on surveys of the magazine’s readers. Mayor at the time David Cross attributed the perception of Santa Fe snobbery to the enjoyment of the arts, a point validated by the article which quoted a writer as saying “without a…

AmericanBarbecueBurgersNew MexicanNew MexicoRating: N/R (Not Rated)Taos County

The Alley Cantina – Taos, New Mexico

Gil Garduno2:04 AM

In April, 2014, Gallup conducted a poll to determine state pride across the United States. More precisely, the Gallup poll surveyed people in all 50 states to find out what percentage of residents say their state was the very best or one of the best places to live. Sadly, New Mexico was rated the six worst state to live with only 28 percent of respondents indicating the Land of Enchantment was one of the best places to live. New Mexico was the only state among the bottom ten either not bordering or not East of the Mississippi River. In recent years it seems every quality of life survey conducted lists New Mexico near the very bottom where we compete with…

AmericanNew MexicoNew Mexico Green Chile Cheeseburger Trail: 2011Rating: N/R (Not Rated)Taos County

Stray Dog Cantina – Taos Ski Valley, New Mexico

Gil Garduno2:55 PM

There’s a rather ominous sign on the base of the Taos Ski Valley. In bold red uppercase print, the sign reads “DON’T PANIC!,” a preface for somewhat more reassuring text: “YOU’RE LOOKING AT ONLY 1/30 OF TAOS SKI VALLEY. WE HAVE MANY EASY RUNS TOO!” To novice skiers, the steepness of the ski runs visible from the base may as well be the “I’d turn back if I were you” sign Dorothy and her friends encountered when they entered the Haunted Forest on the way to the castle of the Wicked Witch of the West. No doubt the less skilled schussers turn tail like the Cowardly Lion and head for flatter topography. There’s another boldface type warning at another Taos…

CaliforniaFine DiningRating: N/R (Not Rated)United States

Geoffrey’s Malibu – Malibu, California

Gil Garduno9:42 AM

The walls at Geoffrey’s Malibu are festooned with copies of whimsical framed “doodles” created by Hollywood celebrities and movie stars who have dined at the posh seaside restaurant. Most are tongue-in-cheek self-portraits which probably speak volumes about the glitterati themselves–and not just whether they lack or are blessed with an artistic talent beyond their particular medium. Thematically, all the portraits include a heart. That’s because Harvey Baskin, the restaurant’s previous owner asked the artists to donate originals for publication and sale in support of a charity for children with heart disease. Jane Russell’s heart forms her shapely derriere at the terminus of legs which would otherwise go on forever. George Burns’ bespectacled heart puffs on one of his beloved cigars.…

CaliforniaDiners Drive-Ins and DivesRating: N/R (Not Rated)SandwichUnited States

Norton’s Pastrami & Deli – Santa Barbara, California

Gil Garduno7:44 AM

“I flew too close to the sun on wings of pastrami.” ~George Costanza January 14th has been designated “National Hot Pastrami Sandwich day.” The fact that a day has been designated to honor the greatness of the “most sensual of all the salted and cured meats” is wholly unnecessary for many of us. True pastrami paramours in the mold of Dagwood Bumstead, Shaggy Rogers, Joey Tribbiani and my friend Bill Resnik, don’t need a special reason or designated day to partake of pulchritudinous pastrami. To us, every day is pastrami sandwich day! Now, if your experiences with pastrami have been limited to the packaged Boar’s Head offering or worse, an occasional Subway pastrami sandwich, you’re probably wondering what the big…

AmericanCaliforniaRating: N/R (Not Rated)United States

Opal Restaurant and Bar – Santa Barbara, California

Gil Garduno11:53 AM

We’re all familiar with premise of Iron Chef America in which accomplished chefs are pitted against the veritable pantheon of culinary giants who have earned the title of Iron Chef. Can you imagine if one of the vaunted Iron Chefs, or even one of the challengers for that matter, failed to present the judges a variety of ways in which the “secret ingredient” is used? How, for example, would the oft-haughty judges react if during “battle rice” Iron Chef Morimoto presented seven different sushi rolls? Though not led by Iron Chefs, there are a number of fusion restaurants across the fruited plain where you’d swear all the dishes served have a “one-note” flavor profile (usually cloying), the only significant difference…

CaliforniaItalianRating: N/R (Not Rated)United States

Trattoria Mollie – Montecito, California

Gil Garduno8:22 AM

In its three best-selling editions–published in 2006, 2008 and 2012–National Geographic’s “Passport to the Best” has enthralled, excited and educated connoisseurs of matters of taste across the globe. With top ten lists in dozens of categories studded with savvy tips and inspiring imagery, this wayfarer’s bible invigorates investigative yearnings for exotic travel, if for nothing else to confirm or refute the opinion of the authors. Still, when the “Passport to the Best” recognized Trattoria Mollie in Montecito, California as “one of the “Ten Best Destination & Special Restaurants in the World,” the honor was probably lost on much of the popular culture demographic. Trattoria Mollie has instead garnered much more fame and acclaim courtesy of a rousing endorsement from media…

JapaneseRating: N/R (Not Rated)Santa Fe

Izanami – Santa Fe, New Mexico

Gil Garduno6:01 PM

“Do not the most moving moments of our lives find us without words.” ~Marcel Marceau When the Spaniards first gazed upon the setting sun as it hit the towering snow-capped mountains and appeared to bathe the slopes in a burst of red, they were so moved that the pious Conquistadors exclaimed “Sangre de Cristo,” blood of Christ. Whether bathed in the spectacular red alpenglow of sunset or in the “like yellow hair of a tigress brindled with pines” gold of autumn aspens as described by D.H. Lawrence, the Sangre de Cristos still move people deeply, stirring their very souls. The Sangre de Cristos are also spectacular when wispy amorphous clouds dance around the blanket of sky in all its magnificent…