AmericanDog FriendlyNew MexicoRating: N/R (Not Rated)Santa Fe

The Teahouse – Santa Fe, New Mexico

Gil Garduno9:25 AM

When I suggested to my Kim that our next al-fresco culinary adventure with our dachshund Dude (he abides) should be at the Teahouse in Santa Fe, she shot a glance at me that seemed to suggest advanced mental deterioration had caught up with me. She reminded me that every time we had tea and scones on the banks of the River Windrush in Bourton on the Water (England), I guzzled my tea and tossed bits of my scones at hungry ducks floating on the water. “It was the only way,” I argued “to enjoy high tea without actually being high.” As with most men, the notion of high tea conjures images of women in frilly outfits and flowery hats sipping tea from cups much too small for our sausage fingers and eating finger sandwiches that wouldn’t feed a famished mosquito. It’s right out of a Jane Austen novel. Our XY chromosome pairing seems to have predisposed men to hate the idea of high tea. We’re just not civilized enough to enjoy it though perhaps if the tea house had a dozen large flat screen televisions tuned to the NFL game of the week, we’d certainly enjoy the experience more. Of…

AlbuquerqueAmericanBurgersClosed in 2017Gone But Not ForgottenNew Mexico

Kitchen Se7ven – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Gil Garduno8:00 AM

During a 1996 episode of Seinfeld, George Costanza, a self-proclaimed “short, balding, unattractive man” made the mistake of telling his fiancee he wanted to name his child “Seven” after his idol Mickey Mantle. To George’s chagrin, his fiancee’s cousin liked the idea so much she decided to name her own child Seven. Even as the cousin was being wheeled by an orderly into the delivery room, George tried in vain to convince her to name the child something else. Six, Thirteen, Fourteen, even…Soda. “it’s bubbly, it’s refreshing!,” he cried. When Chef Akio told us of the birth of his son just a day before our inaugural visit, we had to ask him if he’d be naming his son “Seven.” Obviously understanding the reference, he laughed and told us his son’s name would be Isaiah. The only seven in his family is the uniquely spelled “Kitchen Se7ven” he named his restaurant. If you’re looking for signage to guide you to his restaurant, you won’t find any. Kitchen Se7ven is located within the Kaktus Brewing Company on the western fringes of Nob Hill and eastern extremities of the University of New Mexico…you know, that weird corner bordered by Central to the South,…

AlbuquerqueAmericanBar & GrillBrunchClosed in 2021Dog FriendlyGone But Not Forgotten

Nob Hill Bar & Grill – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Gil Garduno12:01 AM

There’s talk on the street, it’s there to remind you, it doesn’t really matter which side you’re on You’re walking away and they’re talking behind you They will never forget you ’til somebody new comes along – New Kid In Town: The Eagles As an independent observer of the New Mexico culinary experience, it’s always intrigued me just how fleeting and short-lived the popularity of new restaurants can be. Perhaps indicative of our human need for constant new sources of stimulation and gratification, diners (and restaurant critics) flock to new restaurants like moths to a flame. In our minds, new seems to translate to fresh and exciting. We seem drawn to the spit, polish and promise of new restaurants in our constant quest for new and different. The phenomenon of newness isn’t solely applicable to restaurants. On the liner notes of “The Very Best of the Eagles,” Don Henley explained the meaning behind their number one song “New Kid in Town:” We’re basically saying, ‘Look, we know we’re red hot right now but we also know that somebody’s going to come along and replace us–both in music and in love.’ The fleeting, fickle nature of our fascination with newness is…

AlbuquerqueAmericanClosed in 2020Dog FriendlyGone But Not ForgottenNational ChainNew Mexico

Rock & Brews – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Gil Garduno12:01 AM

“I wanna rock and roll all night and party every day.” ~Kiss For generations, American teenagers have undergone a rite of passage that has contributed greatly to their angst. That rite of passage is the ego-deflating criticism of the music they enjoy. Just as our parents hated the music we listened to, we hated the music our own children enjoy. It just seems ingrained in their DNA that parents will hate the music their children enjoy. Parental disapproval of their progeny’s choice in music probably achieved its heights (or low point) in the late ’50s when rock ’n’ roll was considered “the devil’s music” and Elvis’s gyrating pelvis was considered downright obscene. Music—whether it be punk rock, hardcore, rap, reggae or metal—still raises the rancor of parents. For teens of my generation, the target of our progenitors’ odium was rock and roll, albeit rock and roll with more adrenaline-stoked energy and attitude than the sappy, saccharine pop music with which they grew up (and which their own parents detested). Perhaps in defense of our music or in rebellion against parental stodginess, we adopted a song called “Rock and Roll All Night” as our anthem, the rallying cry for kids of…

AlbuquerqueClosed in 2020Gone But Not ForgottenJapaneseNew Mexico

Mogu Mogu – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Gil Garduno12:01 AM

In the 1970s, comedian Norm Crosby based his schtick on the use of malapropisms (the mistaken use of a word in place of a similar-sounding one, often with unintentionally amusing effect). The “master of the malaprop” would mispronounce keywords in familiar idioms and clichés, in the process giving new meaning to what he was trying to convey. Here are some examples: As a famous stand-up comic, he appreciated standing “ovulations” when he performed. When his dad explained the facts of life to him, his dad drew a big “diaphragm.” When he went to a tailor, it’s because his pants needed an “altercation.” When people couldn’t read or write, Crosby attributed the problem to “illegitimacy.” In real life, however, most people don’t realize their own fox paws. My Kim, for example, would give Norm Crosby a run for his money though her malapropisms are wholly innocent and not designed to elicit a laugh. On a sweltering summer day in Arlington Heights, Illinois, for example, she once ordered “soba” tea from the Mitsuwa Marketplace. Initially the young lady at the counter was confused, but once she figured out that Kim actually wanted “boba” tea, she couldn’t help but giggle. Recently at a…

AlbuquerqueClosed in 2021Gone But Not ForgottenMediterraneanNew Mexico

Middle Eastern Food & Kababs – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Gil Garduno3:24 PM

What do you do when you’ve just finished saving the world? Because warding off a vicious onslaught of alien invaders is bound to make you hungry, you just might have shawarma. That’s what the Avengers, Earth’s mightiest superheroes did. Lying on his back amidst the rubble of a demolished building after helping vanquish a phalanx of evil extraterrestrials, Iron Man doesn’t revel in victory or proclaim “We’re number one!” He asks his superhero colleagues “You ever try shawarma? There’s a shawarma joint about two blocks from here. I don’t know what it is, but I want to try it.” After an intense and lengthy fight scene, his seemingly innocuous statement breaks the tension and reminds viewers that after working hard, even superheroes deserve a well-earned meal. After credits have rolled, the entire Avengers team is shown assembled at the shawarma joint, most still attired in full superhero regalia. The battle weary Iron Man (Robert Downey, Jr.), Captain America (Chris Evans), The Hulk (Mark Ruffalo), Thor (Chris Hemsworth), Black Widow (Scarlett Johansson) and Hawkeye (Jeremy Renner) eat (and ostensibly enjoy) their shawarma while the restaurateurs go about the business of sweeping the floor and cleaning up. As the Avengers’ collective exhaustion…

AlbuquerqueClosed in 2017Gone But Not ForgottenNew MexicoPizzaRating: Outstanding

ECLECTIC URBAN PIZZERIA AND TAP HOUSE – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Gil Garduno9:51 AM

Looking around our table, my friend Ryan “Break the Chain” Scott astutely pointed out the relative scarcity of pizza at our table. Considering the Eclectic Urban Pizzeria and Tap Room may have been the most eagerly awaited pizzeria to open in Albuquerque in years, you’d think a phalanx of foodies would be devouring our weight in pizza…and while three pulchritudinous pies did grace our table, so did such eclectic fare as pho, chicken wings, roasted chicken and Chimichurri skirt steak a la plancha. Despite the term “eclectic” on the pizzeria’s appellation, the menu’s vast diversity actually surprised us. It’s a testament to his tremendous creativity and talent that Chef Maxime Bouneou can still surprise diners who for nine years reveled in his fabulous Italian creations at Torinos @ Home, the restaurant he founded with his beautiful bride and partner Daniela. Surprises at Torinos were usually of the “I can’t believe how good this is” variety. At Eclectic, surprises fall under the “I can’t believe he can prepare this so well” category, emphasis on “this.” Frankly we shouldn’t have been surprised at the diversity of dishes he prepares so well. Maxime isn’t a great chef who prepares great Italian food. He’s…

AlbuquerqueClosed in 2019Gone But Not ForgottenNew MexicanNew MexicoRating: Excellent

Pana’s Cafe – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Gil Garduno5:34 PM

The term “red or green” has connotations beyond New Mexico’s sacrosanct chile. For restaurateurs across the Duke City, red or green can spell the difference between a good or bad reputation and even success or failure. All food service establishments across the city must display the results of the most recent restaurant inspection conducted by the Albuquerque Environmental Health Department. Those results are displayed on a “current grade” sticker in a visible inspection, typically the front door. Savvy diners look for a green sticker which signifies that a food establishment received a passing grade at their most recent inspection. It means the restaurant staff has demonstrated skills and knowledge that create a safe and sanitary food service environment. A red sticker, on the other hand, means the food service establishment has been downgraded for non-compliance with the Food Sanitation Ordinance. The dreaded red sticker can be the proverbial kiss of death. Although food service establishments are given the opportunity to correct critical violations, sometimes the damage to reputation is done. For years, the “red or green report” was a weekly staple of KOAT Action 7 News with appropriate dramatic emphasis accorded restaurants earning red stickers. As with inspections of any…

Closed in 2020Gone But Not ForgottenItalianNew MexicoPizza

Forghedaboudit – Deming, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Gil Garduno12:01 AM

NOTE: While the Deming location of Forghedaboudit is permanently closed, you can visit this fabulous Italian eatery at its Las Cruces location. Several years ago, former New York Times food editor Sam Sifton posited the “Pizza Cognition Theory” which declared “the first slice of pizza a child sees and tastes (and somehow appreciates on something more than a childlike level) becomes, for him, pizza. He will defend this interpretation to the end of his life.” Because Sifton grew up in Brooklyn Heights, New York and was exposed to great pizza at a very early age, the Pizza Cognition Theory makes sense It makes sense, in fact, for everyone whose introduction to the sheer magical deliciousness that is pizza transpired at a venue which prepared truly transformative pizza. But what about the rest of us whose grew up in rural American and who may not have had our first “great” pizza until our shadows darkened the doors at Pizza Hut…or Domino’s or Papa John’s? Surely, the Pizza Cognition theory holds no personal weight for us. The Garduño siblings were first introduced to pizza in the dark ages when our mom prepared an “Appian Way” pizza from a Chef Boyarde “Pizza Kit,”…

AsianClosed in 2022FusionGone But Not ForgottenNew MexicoRating: ExcellentTruth or Consequences

Latitude 33 – Truth or Consequences, New Mexico

Gil Garduno11:49 PM

“Of all places in the country where you could have opened a restaurant, why Truth or Consequences, New Mexico?” You can bet Joseph Schmitt has been asked that question many times, especially when people find out his previous address was in Palm Springs, California where he was an accomplished travel writer with a special affinity for cooking and dining. Schmitt’s introduction to T or C started off as business but wound up as pleasure. Assigned to write about New Mexico’s salubrious spas, he enjoyed the T or C area so much that he hawked the story idea to several publications, the impetus for several return trips. With each return trip he found more to love about the area until ultimately relocating in April, 2013. In all fairness, one of the reasons guests to Schmitt’s Latitude 33 Asian fusion restaurant ask “why T or C” is because they don’t expect to find a restaurant offering such sophisticated fare. That’s especially true if they haven’t visited America’s most affordable spa town in a while. In recent years, the influx of free-thinking quirkiness, eclectic artsiness and a bohemian spirit have touched all aspects of life in this small city, including its restaurants. If…

CandyNew MexicoRating: ExcellentSan AntonioSpecialty

San Antonio General Store – San Antonio, New Mexico

Gil Garduno8:22 AM

Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, latte in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming “Woo Hoo, what a ride!” – Motto to Live By What struck me most about this motto was not the profundity of its words, but their placement–on a placard hanging directly above a glass pastry case showcasing some of the most delicious fudge in the state. It seems somehow appropriate that the motto hover above gourmet fudge like a radiant halo. This is fudge crafted with imagination and flair. It is luscious and decadent, extremely rich and thoroughly delicious. It is a perfect gift for yourself and for someone you love. The San Antonio General Store is across the street and catty-corner from the world-famous Buckhorn Tavern and separated by a short parking lot from the equally world-famous Owl Cafe. There may be nothing better in the entire world than a green chile cheeseburger from either of the village’s world-famous purveyors of burger perfection followed by fudge warranting the overused “enchanted” adjective. From the outside,…