Category: American

AlbuquerqueBurgersClosed in 2022Gone But Not Forgotten

B2B Bistronomy – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Gil Garduno12:02 PM

Marshall: Just a Burger? Just a burger. Robin, it’s so much more than “just a burger.” I mean…that first bite—oh, what heaven that first bite is. The bun, like a sesame freckled breast of an angel, resting gently on the ketchup and mustard below, flavors mingling in a seductive pas de deux. And then…a pickle! The most playful little pickle! Then a slice of tomato, a leaf of lettuce and a…a patty of ground beef so exquisite, swirling in your mouth, breaking apart, and combining again in a fugue of sweets and savor so delightful. This is no mere sandwich of grilled meat and toasted bread, Robin. This is God, speaking to us in food. Lily: And you got our wedding vows off the Internet!? ~How I Met Your Mother: “The Best Burger in New York” As that episode illustrated, men are inspired to rhapsodize romantically about truly outstanding burgers. We’re similarly compelled to masterful oratory when discussing our favorite National Football League team. Our passion for fine, fast cars elicits a facile fluency with words. We can discuss our 60-inch flat screen television with the eloquence of a bard. It makes our wives and girlfriends wonder how we can…

AlbuquerqueAmericanBar & GrillBreakfastClosed in 2021Dog FriendlyGone But Not Forgotten

Kelly’s Brew Pub – Albuquerque, New Mexico

Gil Garduno2:34 PM

“If you ever plan to motor west Travel my way, take the highway that’s the best A-get your kicks on Route sixty-six It winds from Chicago to LA More than two thousand miles all the way Get your kicks on Route sixty-six.” ~Nat King Cole With a population of approximately 30,000, Albuquerque had just about as many people in 1939 as Alamagordo has today. In 1939, life in the Duke City centered around Central Avenue and 4th Street where F.W. Woolworth’s Department Store (Albuquerque’s first national chain store) was situated. That year Route 66, the fabled Mother Road, saw a peak in the migration to California (and the promise of a better life) of destitute Oklahoma sharecroppers. In 1939, on Second Street just north of Central, New Mexico native Conrad Hilton built the first of his eponymous hotels–and the first modern high-rise–in the state of his birth. Further east on Central Avenue in the Nob Hill area (Albuquerque’s first sub-division) construction began on the De Anza Motor Lodge. In 1939, with the threat of war imminent in Europe, the Army Air Force established a pilot training center (today called Kirtland Air Force Base), setting the stage for Albuquerque’s biggest boom…

AlbuquerqueBarbecueClosed in 2017Diners Drive-Ins and DivesFood Network Eats New MexicoGone But Not ForgottenNew Mexico

The Cube – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Gil Garduno3:45 AM

Timon: [singing] Luau. If you’re hungry for a hunk of fat and juicy meat Eat my buddy Pumbaa here, ’cause he’s a tasty treat Come on down and dine on this tasty swine All you gotta is get in line Are you achin’… Pumbaa: Yup, yup, yup. Timon: For some bacon? Pumbaa: Yup, yup, yup. Timon: He’s a big pig. Pumbaa: Yup, yup. Timon: You can be a big pig, too. Oy. From Disney’s Lion King Succulent swine. Porcine perfection. Bodacious baby backs. Pulchritudinous pulled pork. Every serious barbecue aficionado should go hog wild at least once in their lives and pig out in Memphis, Tennessee, indisputably one of America’s bastions of barbecue and home of the “Memphis in May World Championship BBQ Cooking Competition.” Never mind the great gridiron gala (the championship of the National Football League), the “Superbowl of Swine” is where barbecue addicts want their fill of pigskin and Memphis is where they meat. Although Memphis prides itself on the diversity of its barbecue, traditional Memphis barbecue is primarily about “low and slow” smoked pork served one of two ways: pulled into tender, melt-in-your-mouth pieces or as meaty ribs on a slab. Those righteous ribs are available…

BreakfastBurgersClosed in 2015Gone But Not ForgottenNew MexicoNew Mexico Green Chile Cheeseburger Trail: 2009New Mexico Green Chile Cheeseburger Trail: 2011

Badlands Burgers & Tortas – Grants, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Gil Garduno12:00 PM

Out through the back door of Rosa’s I ran, Out where the horses were tied. I caught a good one. It looked like it could run. Up on its back and away I did ride, Just as fast as I could from the West Texas town of El Paso Out to the badlands of New Mexico. ~El Paso by Marty Robbins From the Texas cowboy immortalized in the Marty Robbins ballad to Walter White, Albuquerque’s favorite meth maker, through time immemorial whenever circumstances in the wild and rugged west have been at their most grim and perilous, even the most intrepid of heroes have escaped to the badlands of New Mexico. The badlands of New Mexico are an other-worldly expanse of naturally occurring topographical anomalies: undulating mounds, hulking hoodoos, elaborately eroding landscapes, precipitously balanced rocks of different forms and shapes in surreal color palettes. Ostensibly, the badlands make for a good hiding place. Perhaps the baddest of New Mexico’s badlands is El Malpais, a term which translates from Spanish to “the bad lands,” but which has been defined in science as an extensive area of rough, barren lava flows. El Malpais hearkens back to the geologic era in which volcanoes…

AlbuquerqueAmericanClosed in 2018Gone But Not Forgotten

Milton’s Cafe – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Gil Garduno9:11 AM

“Where we love is home – home that our feet may leave, but not our hearts. ~Oliver Wendell Holmes You might think that a world-famous cookbook author and New York Times food writer who dines at four-star white-tablecloth restaurants and routinely drops $200 or more for a meal would be ecstatic about his culinary opportunities. Instead, Mark Bittman appears to have had too much of a good thing and longs for, of all things, a restaurant which feels like home (ostensibly without having to do the dishes). Bittman laments “I want “my” place, don’t you? A place with a working chef, not a cookie-cutter spinoff and certainly not a circus. A place where the food is at least as good as what I can do at home and preferably better, and consistently so; one that’s pleasant; one where I’m vaguely known as a repeat customer, but not falsely fawned over; one where I can pay without thinking about what that chunk of money might have gone to instead.” New Mexico’s dining options aren’t nearly as diverse and plentiful as those in New York City and my dining budget is a modicum of Bittman’s, but quite frequently I’m completely simpatico with…

BurgersNew MexicanRating: N/R (Not Rated)Santa Fe

El Milagro New Mexican Restaurant – Santa Fe, New Mexico

Gil Garduno8:31 PM

Believing “there was a void in our menu vis-a-vis the adult who wanted a higher ratio of meat to bun,” a former Vice President of product development for McDonald’s invented The Quarter Pounder in 1971. As a marketing ploy, the name Quarter Pounder quickly became a resounding success. Clever advertising campaigns convinced American consumers they were purchasing a large, beefy burger they would be challenged to finish. Had the burger been given the far less formidable christening of “Four Ouncer” we wouldn’t be talking about this McDonald’s staple forty-some years later. When it comes to burgers across the fruited plain, size does matter. Despite the caloric overachieving revelations of Supersize Me, supersized Americans seem to gravitate toward larger, meatier burgers. Burgers tipping the scales at a half-pound or more are now considered puny. In fact, according to the Centers for Disease Control, since the 1950s, the weight of the average fast-food burger has grown more than threefold, from 3.9 ounces to 12 ounces. That’s three times the size of the Quarter Pounder. The burgers at El Milagro New Mexican Restaurant in Santa Fe would kick sand in the face of the Quarter Pounder. They’re the proverbial musclebound bodybuilder to the…

BarbecueCaliforniaRating: N/R (Not Rated)United States

Phil’s BBQ Restaurant – San Diego, California

Gil Garduno9:39 AM

A few decades ago, the culinary cognoscenti anointed the best bastions of bodacious barbecue–Kansas City, Memphis, Texas and the Carolinas…and there was much rejoicing. Since then, it’s been widely accepted that this exclusive quadrumvirate is where the very best barbecue in America is to be found. Much of this acceptance is because the four regions have deployed their marketing machines to continue reenforcing the notion–some would say myth–that their barbecue is sacrosanct and evermore defines barbecue greatness. There were a number of reasons these four regions were anointed as America’s barbecue capitals. For one, barbecue is more than just another important part of the culture at these regions; it’s as close to a religion as you’ll find. Secondly, restaurants specializing in barbecue are plentiful and they seem to be clustered in close proximity to one another. The recognition that these four regions do barbecue especially well is in no way an indictment of other regions. It’s well known that there’s some superb smoking going on across the entire fruited plain, from sea to shining sea. Visit any state in the union and you’ll find eager diners queuing up for their local ‘cue. There’s often as much pride in local barbecue…

BurgersNew MexicoRating: N/R (Not Rated)

The Patio – Deming, New Mexico

Gil Garduno9:33 AM

Drive past Deming on the interstate and you’ll be bypassing one of New Mexico’s little known gems, a city once bestowed the nickname “New Chicago” in anticipation of its burgeoning growth with the surge of railroad usage.  Although the population boom never happened, there is still much about Deming to enjoy as rock hunters, history buffs and anthropologists will attest.  One of its charms are the duck crossings on the main street through the city.  Deming is home to the great American duck race, an annual event for more than three decades. One thing for which Deming has not been known is its burgers.  In fact, other than the ubiquitous LotaBurger,  there wasn’t a single burger joint representative on the New Mexico Green Chile Cheeseburger Trail in either 2009 or 2011.  Perhaps…no perhaps about it…there should have been.  The Patio, just east of downtown Deming, serves one of the very best green chile cheeseburgers in New Mexico.  The green chile cheeseburger is just one of fourteen burgers on the menu, not counting the innovative burger of the month.  May’s monthly honoree was a Salisbury steak burger complete with your choice of white or brown gravy and sauteed onions. The Patio…

AmericanBar & GrillBernalilloClosed in 2013Gone But Not Forgotten

Ancient Spirits Bar & Grille – Bernalillo, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Gil Garduno9:47 PM

“Ancient spirits dwell in New Mexico, since before the existence of humanity.” – The Husband: A Novel by Dean Koontz FROM THE ANCIENT SPIRITS BLOG ON JULY 17:  Due to unforeseen circumstances Ancient Spirits Bar and Grille has had to close its doors. We have lost one of our owner/investors and are searching for someone to take his place. We are hoping that this is only a temporary setback and that we will be able to open back up very soon. Sorry for the inconvenience and thank you for your support. The presence of ancient spirits is ubiquitous throughout New Mexico.  It’s a presence as palpable as a soft caress or a small, still voice.  You can feel that presence while standing reverently under a canopy of stars when the hushed stillness of an ebony night is punctuated by a gentle breeze.  You can sense those ancient spirits around craggy canyon walls which reach precipitously upwards to cerulean skies.  Contrary to what is popularly postulated, these spirits are earthbound not because of unresolved issues, but because they can’t bear to leave the preternatural beauty of the Land of Enchantment. Some will call it sacrilege, others will argue it’s a tribute,…

BarbecueBreakfastClosed in 2013Gone But Not ForgottenNew MexicoRio Rancho

The Smokehouse Barbecue Restaurant (CLOSED)

Gil Garduno3:38 AM

The very best restaurants–those we’re proud to call our favorites–aren’t always the swankiest and most elegant venues.  They’re not even usually the restaurants you visit on special occasions.  They’re our favorites because for the duration of our meal, all our cares dissipate and our faith that everything will be okay is restored as we’re fed comforting, delicious food by servers we know and trust.  The Smokehouse has been such a refuge to hundreds of Rio Rancho area residents for nearly two and a half decades.  The Smokehouse’s last full day of operation was Saturday, June 22nd, 2013.  Then on Sunday night, June 23rd at 6PM, owner Gary West invited guests to a farewell soiree where he  exhausted his remaining food inventory: amazing smoked turkey, ribs and so much more.  There wasn’t  a charge for the meal though Gary jokingly had a jar in which guests could contribute to his retirement.  Gary will be leaving the desert climes of New Mexico for Hawaii where he plans to lead a life of leisure.  Aloha, Gary.  You and the Smokehouse will be missed. In his headlines segment on April Fools Day 2001, Tonight Show host Jay Leno had a good laugh at the…

AlbuquerqueBurgersClosed in 2014Gone But Not ForgottenNew Mexico Green Chile Cheeseburger Trail: 2011

Lumpy’s Burgers – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Gil Garduno1:44 AM

Of all the adjectives that can be used to describe something or someone, lumpy is certainly not one of the most complimentary.  Think of all the Archie Bunker-like tantrums thrown during holiday meals when lumpy mashed potatoes are served or the breakfast battles that ensue when the oatmeal is lumpy. In fits of pique, seven-time Academy Award nominated actor Richard Burton often called his voluptuous wife Elizabeth Taylor “lumpy,” perhaps one of the reasons Hollywood’s most volatile couple was twice divorced and their relationship generally tumultuous. Perhaps worse than describing something as “lumpy” is giving someone that nickname. Consider the Saturday Night Live skit which poked fun at former University of New Mexico golfer and current PGA tour pro Tim Herron because the “less than svelte” golfer’s nickname is “Lumpy.”  Never mind that the self-deprecating Herron embraces the sobriquet, it’s often the target of derision.  The Leave It To Beaver television series of the 50s and 60s portrayed “Lumpy” Rutherford as a “hefty” teenage dullard who’s a bit of a bully. So why would a hamburger joint on Route 66 christen itself “Lumpy?”  Prospective diners would certainly hope it’s not a descriptive adjective for its burgers.  When owners Jay Kennedy…