Category: Burgers

AlbuquerqueBurgersRating: Very Good

The Grill – Albuquerque, New Mexico

Gil Garduno1:16 PM

“I’m not telling you, ‘Never eat a hamburger.’ Just eat the good ones with real beef, you know, like the ones from that mom-and-pop diner down the street, … And it’s so good that when you take a bite out of that burger, you just know somewhere in the world a vegan is crying.” – Homer Simpson America’s favorite everyman philosopher may have had The Grill in mind when uttering that pithy pearl. What, after all, is a burger if not the celebration of meat, a pulchritudinous beef patty sandwiched between glorious golden orbs and festooned with ingredients intended to bring out flavor combinations that dance on your taste buds? Made properly–personalized for taste to your exacting degree of doneness and with your unique choice of ingredients–a burger can elicit tears of rapturous joy among burgerphiles. Though the corporate chains offer convenience and consistency (a boring sameness), few would argue that their copycat burgers could elicit raw delirium when bitten into. Cynics, like me, would argue that chain burgers aren’t even made with real meat, USDA definitions for meat be damned. No, my friends, it’s solely the bounteous burgers at your local mom-and-pop diners down the street that elicit the…

AlbuquerqueBurgersClosed in 2023Gone But Not ForgottenNew Mexico

Santa Fe Bite – ABQ – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Gil Garduno12:49 PM

In 1940, Thomas Wolfe penned You Can’t Go Home Again, a novel whose deeply existential title prompted more than water cooler conversations.  It prompted profound philosophical discourse, internal reflection and pangs of nostalgia about better days remembered.  Readers pondered if it was true that “you can’t go back home to your family, back home to your childhood.”  Realists concluded the novel’s title meant you can’t return to a place of another time and expect that everything would be exactly the same.  Optimists  took it a bit further, positing that while some things may change, other things don’t change and some things might actually be better. Wolfe’s novel came to mind when we first heard a legendary Santa Fe institution had licensed a franchise in Albuquerque.  That institution, the Santa Fe Bite had itself once provided evidence that you can go back home.  For six decades, that institution–then known as the Bobcat Bite–earned every accolade conceivable before relocating to the Santa Fe Plaza area in 2003.  There was a lot of charm in its Lilliputian digs where you sat elbow-to-elbow with other diners who, like you, had waited eagerly for one of the Bobcat Bite’s 26 seats to become available.   The…

AlbuquerqueBrewery-PubBurgersClosed in 2022Dog FriendlyGone But Not ForgottenNew Mexico

Toltec Brewing Co. – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Gil Garduno11:01 PM

Vincent: And you know what they call a Quarter Pounder with Cheese in Paris? Jules: They don’t call it a Quarter Pounder with Cheese? Vincent: No, they got the metric system there, they wouldn’t know what the #%*&! a Quarter Pounder is. Jules: What’d they call it? Vincent: They call it Royale with cheese. Jules: Royale with Cheese. What’d they call a Big Mac? Vincent: Big Mac’s a Big Mac, but they call it Le Big Mac. ~Pulp Fiction 265 “f-bombs,” copious racist slurs, torrents of extreme language and some of the most weighty dialogue ever spoken in an American movie. That was Quentin Tarantino’s 1994 apotheosis Pulp Fiction, a low-brow pastiche the cognoscenti consider one of the most quotable movies ever made. The clever banter and witty repartee between hitmen Vincent Vega (John Travolta) and Jules Winnfield (Samuel L. Jackson) is particularly memorable. It was their dialogue which introduced this review. It was what immediately came to mind when I espied the “Royale” on the “Breaking Bread” section of Toltec Brewing Co.’s menu. While no self-respecting gastronome would ever order a Quarter Pounder…er, Royale with cheese in Paris (or anywhere else, but especially not in Paris), Toltec’s Royale is…

AlbuquerqueBurgersNew MexicoRating: Good

Mac’s Steak in the Rough – Albuquerque, New Mexico

Gil Garduno1:43 PM

In Mark 6:4, Jesus instructs his disciples that “a prophet is not without honor except in his own town, among his relatives and in his own home.” Theologists and Bible scholars have translated this to mean “A prophet is honored everywhere except in his own hometown and among his relatives and his own family.” While certainly not as venerated as prophets, this verse could also apply to some of our local restaurants. If ever you’ve heard a disparaging word about one of our local restaurant institutions, you’ll know of what I speak. Think of all the times you’ve heard such august Duke City institutions as Lotaburger and Mac’s Steak in the Rough disparaged by locals who didn’t grow up with these sacrosanct traditions. For every one of us who revere and frequent these local treasures, there may be as many (if not more) nay-sayers with antipathy toward those lionized local treasures. Some yearn instead for such big city sophisticates as In-N-Out-Burger and others of that ilk. Forgive me if my retort and admonishment to locals who would deprecate our local treasures sounds too much like the jarring and insensitive statements used by some parents to get persnickety children to eat.…

AfricanAlbuquerqueBurgersClosed in 2021Dog FriendlyGone But Not ForgottenIndianNew MexicoRating: Excellent

The Safari Grill – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Gil Garduno2:29 PM

“The wild dogs cry out in the night As they grow restless longing for some solitary company I know that I must do what’s right Sure as Kilimanjaro rises like Olympus above the Serengeti I seek to cure what’s deep inside, frightened of this thing that I’ve become.” ~ Africa by Toto Shrouded in mist and steeped in myth and mystery, Mount Kilimanjaro attracts visitors from all over the world. Often called “the roof of Africa,” the towering, snow-capped, conically-shaped mountain is the crown jewel of the United Republic of Tanzania. At 19,340 feet, the magnificent freestanding peak commands the skies, looming over the plains of the bushveld savannah like a majestic sovereign keeping vigilant watch over her people. Majestic as it may be, Mount Kilimanjaro is far from Tanzania’s sole travel destination. The country boasts of dozens of beautiful white sandy beaches such as those found in the island of Zanzibar. A number of national parks, conservation areas and game reserves allow visitors to get up close and personal with lions, leopards, elephants, cheetah, giraffes, zebras, jackals and thousands of migratory birds. Tanzania is also one of Africa’s most popular safari destinations. Now, safaris need not entail hunting animals…

AlbuquerqueBurgersNew MexicanNew MexicoRating: Good

Hurricane’s Cafe – Albuquerque, New Mexico

Gil Garduno8:02 PM

“What is it with you New Mexicans and your fascination for natural disasters?” my Maryland transplanted friend Jessie Miller once asked me. When I inquired as to what he was talking about, he elaborated that two of his favorite Duke City restaurants are named for natural disasters. “Natural disasters,” I asked. “I don’t know of any restaurants named “Forest Fire” or “Drought,” the only New Mexico occurring natural disasters that came immediately to mind. He laughed, “what’s ironic about the restaurants I have in mind is that they’re named for hurricanes and twisters, two natural disasters that don’t occur in Albuquerque.” I reminded him that our ubiquitous spring dust devils are, by definition, twisters. “Yeah, but you sure don’t have hurricanes in New Mexico.” I argued that the Land of Enchantment has proudly boasted of hurricanes for decades, adding that New Mexico’s hurricanes even had masculine names long before hurricanes on the Gulf and East Coasts did. “What names?” he asked? In as straight-face as I could muster, I recounted the names Al and Al, Jr., as in New Mexico music legend Al Hurricane and his son Al, Jr. Okay, that’s just me being a smart Alec, but Al and…

AlbuquerqueBurgersMexicanNew MexicoRating: Good

Caveman Burgers – Albuquerque, New Mexico

Gil Garduno5:25 PM

“It’s so easy, even a caveman can…find it.” The Geico commercial depicting metrosexualized troglodytes living in contemporary America came to mind when I couldn’t find CaveMan Burgers on Central Avenue. While your typical caveman about town would probably have googled the restaurant’s address, this homo-dumbassicus took for granted that when KRQE reported CaveMan Burgers was “on Central near Coors,” it was in immediate proximity to Coors, not blocks away. I also took for granted that there would be clear signage, if not a prominent storefront, pointing out exactly where this primitive-themed purveyor of prodigious burgers is located. Thankfully serendipity won out where poor planning failed and I located CaveMan Burgers while stopped at a small strip mall parking lot to finally consult Google. There it was—right in front of me. For future reference, it’s immediately east of Mac’s La Sierra within that aforementioned strip mall. You think about a lot of things when you’re trying to locate CaveMan Burgers…such as why would anyone want to name an eatery “CaveMan Burgers.” Surely it couldn’t be because it subscribes to the hunting and gathering-heavy Paleo diet. Nah, most burgers aren’t made with lean beef. Maybe it was named because of the way…

AlbuquerqueBurgersClosed in 2020Gone But Not ForgottenHot DogsNew Mexico

Burque’s Burgers & Dawgs – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Gil Garduno12:40 PM

A 2016 quality of life survey conducted by the city of Albuquerque revealed that denizens of the Duke City are split pretty much down the middle when it comes to the nickname “Burque” (which, by the way, is NOT pronounced “burr-key” though you’ll be forgiven if you can’t roll your r’s).  28-percent of respondents viewed the sobriquet favorably while 28-percent had an unfavorable impression and 35% were neutral.  Residents of the Northeast Heights viewed the nickname less favorably than did dwellers of North Valley, downtown, west side and UNM areas. The survey did not address former Mayor Marty Chavez’s 2007 branding efforts to replace Burque with a more generic city nickname, “The Q.” In response to Mayor Chavez’s perceived folly, a grassroots cultural resistance movement arose.  Sporting plain red tee-shirts emblazoned with the words “¡SOY DE BURQUE!, or “I am from Burque,” the movement’s members garnered worldwide support, particularly from former Burqueños.  In an interview with The Alibi, the movement’s founder declared, “The Q, more than anything, represents not having a voice. Burque–it’s a name that has been given by the people over generations, and it’s always sort of existed. The Q, the fact that they’re trying to make it…

AlbuquerqueAmericanBetter Call SaulBreakfastBurgersDog FriendlyNew Mexico Green Chile Cheeseburger Trail: 2009New Mexico Green Chile Cheeseburger Trail: 2011Rating: Very Good

The Owl Cafe – Albuquerque, New Mexico

Gil Garduno5:45 PM

Shortly before 6AM. on July 16, 1945, some of the world’s most brilliant minds ushered in the nuclear age with the detonation of the first atomic bomb, an occasion which later prompted Los Alamos Laboratory head J. Robert Oppenheimer to declare “Now I am become death, the destroyer of worlds.” The transformative event occurred in a dry, desolate locale approximately 35 miles from bucolic San Antonio, New Mexico, the gateway to the Bosque del Apache National Wildlife Refuge. The scientists who developed the top-secret bomb had been staying nearby in cabins rented from J.E. Miera, proprietor of Miera’s Owl Bar and Cafe. Posing as “prospectors,” the scientists frequented Miera’s for enthusiastic card games, cold beer and grilled cheeseburgers. In time, Miera’s son Frank Chavez, began adorning the burgers with fiery-hot diced green chile, unwittingly inventing what is now a sacrosanct New Mexico icon, the green chile cheeseburger. Despite what other claimants may say, San Antonio’s Owl Cafe is the progenitor to what James Beard Award-winning writer (and former restaurant reviewer for The Alibi) Jason Sheehan described in 2011 as “America’s best cheeseburger.” The green chile cheeseburger is all that and so much more. In the 1980s, Albuquerque entrepreneur Ski Martin…

AlbuquerqueAmericanBreakfastBurgersClosed in 2022Gone But Not ForgottenNew MexicanNew Mexico

Duke City Kitchen – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Gil Garduno1:18 PM

In the 1970s and 1980s,  Reese’s Peanut Butter cups commercials consisted of a series of vignettes.  Each vignette depicted the collision of two daydreamers–one eating peanut butter and the other eating chocolate.  The peanut butter eater would exclaim “you got chocolate on my peanut butter.”  The one eating chocolate would retort “you got peanut butter on my chocolate.”  The two would then sample the mix of chocolate and peanut butter and burst out in wide-eyed surprise with “Delicious!”  A godlike narrator would then proclaim “Two great tastes that taste great together.” Reese’s has nothing on restaurant impresario Doug Weckerly, chef and proprietor of the Duke City Kitchen on Lomas just west of San Mateo.  Peruse his menu and you might get the impression he’s declared “why stop at two great tastes that taste great together when seven great tastes would taste even better.”  Some of the burgers are constructed of ingredient combinations so seemingly disparate, so wildly unconventional, so un-Albuquerque,  it’s as if he channeled renowned tinkerer Rube Goldberg.  When I asked the inventive chef how he comes up with such ingenious burgers, he told me “I guess I just march to the beat of a different drum.” Not only does…

BurgersClosed in 2021Dog FriendlyGone But Not ForgottenNew Mexico

Chef Toddzilla’s Gourmet Burgers – Roswell, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Gil Garduno7:41 PM

Roswell, New Mexico is a stodgy conservative town where sidewalks are rolled up early. Change comes to the state’s fifth largest city as slowly as the twangy, lazy cadence of a Texas drawl. So does embracing opportunity. Consider the so-called Roswell Incident of 1947. It took 55 years before Roswell opened its UFO museum and another three years before its first UFO Festival. Because Roswell is such an anachronism, you might think a tatted-up chef with a dystopian haircut would stick out like a sore thumb. Ask anyone who’s experienced that chef’s gourmet burgers and amiable manner and they’ll tell Chef Todd Alexander doesn’t stick out, he stands out. So does his effervescent partner in business and in life Kerry Moore. Chef Todd and Kerry are tattooed, tee-shirt wearing cool in a town defined by button-down plaid western wear. They’re cool enough to be themselves—no pretensions or snobbery, just genuine down-to-earth friendliness. They’d never brag about their pedigrees though they certainly would have reason to do so. Chef Todd has serious culinary creds, having plied his craft in five star, five diamond hotel kitchens. Kerry has a Master’s Degree in Marketing and managed food services at the Roswell Independent School…