Category: Rating: N/R (Not Rated)

AlbuquerqueBreakfastBrunchDog FriendlyNew MexicoRating: N/R (Not Rated)Southern

Biscuit Boy – Albuquerque, New Mexico

Gil Garduno12:01 AM

In Boris Pasternak’s Dr Zhivago, a sagacious old Russian czarist caught up in the communist revolution lamented “Scratch a Russian and you will find a peasant.”  To paraphrase that immortal line “Scratch a cook and you’ll find a chemist.”  Think I’ve been ingesting pharmaceuticals?  Maybe you should ask Deonte “Dee” Halsey, the affable owner of Biscuit Boy about the influence of chemistry in cooking.  He would know!  Dee was actually a research scientist working for the U.S. Department of Architecture before figuring out teaching science actually pays more than doing science.  Dee has been teaching science and math for more than two decades now, imparting knowledge and wisdom to high school, middle school and elementary school students.  For the past two years or so, he’s also been spending weekends hawking some of the very best biscuits you’ll find in the Land of Enchantment.  On Saturday you can find him at La Esquinita, a center for cultural flourishment in the Barelas neighborhood.   A mixed-use development combining housing, food, arts and retail, La Esquinita is yet another reason to visit Barelas.  On Sundays “in season” he plies his sideline at the Rail Yards Market in Albuquerque.   Though he grew up in Los Angeles,…

Dog FriendlyPizzaRating: N/R (Not Rated)United StatesUtah

Nomad East – Salt Lake City, Utah

Gil Garduno12:01 AM

A-Team leader “Hannibal” Smith (George Peppard) used to say, “I love it when a plan comes together.”  We learned during our trip to Salt Lake City that sometimes baking in a little flexibility into a well thought-out plan can produce results even better than expected.  Such was the case with our trip to Salt Lake City.   Capably assisted by my dear friend Becky Mercuri,  I did a lot of research on the Salt Lake City area restaurant scene, compiling a list of dozens of prospective restaurants.  We literally didn’t even begin winnowing down that list until just before setting out each day. Predictably, some of the critically acclaimed restaurants on our list were as good as expected.  More often they were even better.  Undoubtedly the biggest surprise of our week-long vacation was a restaurant which hadn’t even been on our list.  After the Female Foodies steered us to Sweet Lake Biscuits & Limeade and Freshies Lobster Co. we began looking even more critically at their “15 Best Restaurants in Salt Lake City (2021)” compilation.  Ranking tenth and listed as “the best new restaurant” in the city was Nomad East, an eatery with a special emphasis on artisan pizza. We expected…

Dog FriendlyRating: N/R (Not Rated)SandwichSeafoodUnited StatesUtah

Freshie’s Lobster Co. – Salt Lake City, Utah

Gil Garduno12:01 AM

The best lobster in the world?  In Salt Lake City?  That’s as improbable as the Detroit Lions winning a Super Bowl, as unlikely as drivers in New Mexico developing the motor skills to use turn signals, as far-fetched as a conservative NRA member driving a Subaru in Santa Fe.  As a landlocked state some two-thousand miles from the cold New England waters that produce the world’s most delicious lobsters, the notion that a Salt Lake City restaurant would be acclaimed as home of the “world’s best lobster roll” seems quite implausible indeed.  Even the concept that a lobster restaurant (other than Red Lobster) would experience wild success in Salt Lake City could be construed as rather fantastical.  Utah isn’t exactly known for lobster.   Fry sauce, funeral potatoes, Jell-O salad yes, but not lobster. Earning the distinction of the “world’s best lobster roll” is precisely what Freshie’s Lobster Co. in downtown Salt Lake City did.  In 2017, Freshie’s owners Lorin and Ben Smaha competed against twelve other contenders for “World’s Best Lobster Roll” at the “Down East Lobster Roll Festival“ competition in Portland, Maine.  Most of the other competitors were from Maine.  A panel of professional judges voted Freshie’s version…

BurgersDiners Drive-Ins and DivesDog FriendlyRating: N/R (Not Rated)United StatesUtah

Proper Burger – Salt Lake City, Utah

Gil Garduno12:01 AM

Television would have you believe Mars and Venus have different ideas as to what constitutes the proper way to eat a burger.  Representing Venus (women), as depicted in a Wendy’s commercial from the 1980s, is a geriatrically advanced woman who takes a small bite of her juicy burger then daintily wipes off the detritis with a napkin.  Representing Mars (men) is Food Network superstar Guy Fieri.  The platinum-coiffed restaurant impressario’s approach to properly eating a burger is mirrored by most of us Martians.  It’s not for the faint of heart or children and you shouldn’t attempt it without a net. If the burger is what some of us more seasoned folks might call a “Dagwood” (characterized by its skyscraper height and multiple layers of meats, cheeses and condiments), Fieri will first assume the position–what he calls the “hunch.”   First you put your burger on the counter and stand in front of it with your chest about twelve-inches from the edge of the counter.  Lean forward so that your chest is at a 45-degree angle to the counter.  Cradle the burger with both hands, resting your elbows on the counter.  Angle the sandwich at a 45-degree angle to the counter with…

AmericanDog FriendlyRating: N/R (Not Rated)SouthernUnited StatesUtah

Sweet Lake Biscuits & Limeaid

Gil Garduno12:01 AM

In 2008, Natchez, Mississippi, was officially named the Biscuit Capital of the World, a process which took three years of research by Chef Regina Charboneau.  Just our luck, the Natchez native and French-trained chef began serving her famous biscuits at her Twin Oaks Bed & Breakfast in Natchez a decade after our last visit to the “Antebellum Capital of the World.”  While we didn’t get to partake of Chef Charboneau’s celebrated biscuits (revered by the Rolling Stones), our breakfasts in Natchez were memorable because biscuits in the Mississippi River town are truly “biscuit capital” worthy. In the quarter-century plus since we lived in Mississippi, we haven’t missed the oppressive humidity or the politics (on par with New Mexico and let’s just leave it at that), but we’ve missed the patriotism, people and…maybe especially the biscuits.  Yes, I know biscuits are made everywhere across the country, but only in the South are biscuits a transformative flaky, buttery and ethereal experience.   Everywhere else most biscuits are floury hockey pucks–dry, tasteless disappointments not worthy of the butter, jam or gravy with which they’re slathered. Not surprisingly, the last truly life-altering biscuit to cross my lips was in Charleston, South Carolina at the James Beard…

Dog FriendlyFine DiningRating: N/R (Not Rated)United StatesUtah

Desert Bistro – Moab, Utah

Gil Garduno12:01 AM

My Kim didn’t buy my explanation that Moab is an acronym standing for “Mother Of All Buffets.”  She did find my legitimate explanation viable.  I explained that Moab means “a land just short of the Promised Land,” a name bestowed  because the Moab valley was a verdant oasis in the middle of a desert.  Moab first appears in the Old Testament book of Genesis and is situated in ancient Palestine just east of the Dead Sea where Jordan now lies.  Because of the physical similarities to the desert jewel of the Old Testament, the small Utah town founded by Mormon settlers in the 1800s was dubbed Moab. When we first visited the Moab area nearly three decades ago, its breath-taking topography and emerald skies called to mind a term synonymous with “a land just short of the Promised Land.”  Never mind the Blue Ridge Mountains and Shenandoah River of John Denver’s “Take Me Home Country Roads.”  Even more than West Virginia, the Moab area was “almost heaven.”  More spectacular than Sedona, more wondrous than Taos, more otherworldly than Abiquiu, the Moab area was quite simply an awe-inspiring idyll.    Because life…and mostly work, gets in the way, it took us…

AlbuquerqueAmericanBreakfastBrunchDog FriendlyNew MexicoRating: N/R (Not Rated)

Curious Toast Cafe – Albuquerque, New Mexico

Gil Garduno12:01 AM

“Toasting makes me uncomfortable, but toast I love. Never start the day without a good piece of toast. In fact, let’s toast to toast.” ~George Costanza You might think that only a short, stocky, slow witted bald man would live a life so mundane as to even consider making a toast to a good piece of toast.  That may have been the case even just a few years ago when many of us languished under the covers until the very last second then wolfed down a dry and uninspiring piece of toast while gulping a scalding cup of coffee.  With crumbs cascading down our chins and onto our button-down shirts, we rushed to our appointed rounds, destined to arrive at work two minutes after our designated start time.  Toast hadn’t sated our appetites and worse, contributed to our heartburn. Since Eater designated 2015 as “the year of the avocado toast,” “gourmet toast” has been in an ascendency that’s finally caught up with Albuquerque.   It’s an idea whose time has come.  No longer should diners be satisfied with a cold pat of butter or cream cheese on no personality bread that’s already cool by the time it gets to your table. …

AlbuquerqueFood TruckMexicanNew MexicoRating: N/R (Not Rated)Tacos

Taco Bus – Albuquerque, New Mexico

Gil Garduno12:01 AM

Perhaps no mobile conveyance in the Land of Enchantment has ferried as many interesting people on as many colorful journeys as the “Road Hog,” the psychedelic bus which shuttled its passengers from Haight-Ashbury to Woodstock to Llano Largo, New Mexico. The Road Hog’s 1969 arrival in Llano Largo heralded the start of the “summer of the hippie invasion” as The Taos News called it. There unwashed masses settled into a Utopian agrarian commune they called the Hog Farm. The Road Hog with its familiar duck hood ornament and Grateful Dead-style tie-dyed design became a common sight in Peñasco, my childhood home.   Everyone–from sanctimonious adults to horny teenagers–visited the Hog Farm.  The former feigned shock and outrage at the audacity of the hippies frolicking in their altogether.  The latter gaped in astonishment at the nubile nymphs parading a boldness exceeding the rather benign porn of the time.  By road, our home was several miles away from the Hog Farm.  By hiking over the river, through the woods and up the hills behind our home we could easily walk to the Hog Farm.  My friends and I grabbed many an eyeful and a good education in anatomy and biology every time we…

AlbuquerqueDog FriendlyHot DogsNew MexicoRating: N/R (Not Rated)Sandwich

Clowndog Hot Dog Parlor – Albuquerque, New Mexico

Gil Garduno11:22 PM

Remember the good old days when the only taboo related to the All American hot dog was the felonious act of adding ketchup.   In the movie “Sudden Impact,”  Clint Eastwood as “Dirty Harry” Callahan declared rather emphatically “Nobody, I mean nobody puts ketchup on a hot dog.”  Barack Obama, the 44th president of the United States was nearly as ardent, asserting that ketchup on a hot dog is “not acceptable past the age of 8.” Not that much later, diehards still consider it a mortal sin to add ketchup to a hot dog.  Nary a dissenting voice, however, is raised at today’s “anything goes” attitude toward hot dog toppings. Well, maybe almost anything goes.  When I shared Clowndog Hot Dog Parlor’s menu with my dear friend Becky Mercuri, author of the The Great American Hot Dog Book, she declared “I’m not averse to different toppings but frankly, I draw the line at spaghettios and fruit loops.”  She’s not kidding when she says she’s not averse to different toppings.  Her magnificent tome includes recipes for about a hundred hot dogs and their toppings from across the fruited plain, recipes she tested herself.  Throughout the process, she found herself “continually amazed…

AlbuquerqueAmericanNew MexicoRating: N/R (Not Rated)

La Finca Bowls – Albuquerque, New Mexico

Gil Garduno10:28 AM

Some people just aren’t cut out for the military.  The most incompatible among them usually wash out during basic military training, what is often referred to as “boot camp.” Sometimes it’s the rigor of strenuous physical conditioning that gets to them.  More often than not what proves too much is the stress of being away from home, maybe for the first time, and being yelled at constantly.  Either of these circumstances may ultimately result in a military commander initiating discharge action against new recruits who are not adjusting to the rigors and demands of military life. The most unique case of incompatibility with military service I ever witnessed was a fellow airman who suffered from a severe case of brumotactillophobia.  Essentially he had a fear of different foods touching each other.  Those of you who completed basic military training might recall the orderly process of traversing wordlessly and at attention through long lines at the chow hall and having foods plopped indiscriminately onto your tray.  Despite the fact that the trays are compartmentalized, different foods invariably do more than touch.  Succotash with chocolate pudding anyone? As fussy an eater as he was, it’s a good thing he wasn’t a member…

New MexicanNew MexicoRating: N/R (Not Rated)

Comet II – Santa Rosa, New Mexico

Gil Garduno12:01 AM

Shake the hand that shook the hand of…The Vitamin Kid.  At 87-years young, the Vitamin Kid–once the fastest runner in Guadalupe County–has slowed down just a bit, but he’s still as sharp as a tack, retaining an encyclopedic memory of details that would make a great novel.  Fittingly, a novel–specifically Rudolfo Anaya’s immortal Bless Me Ultima—is where many of us became acquainted with the fleet-footed Vitamin Kid, one of Antonio Márez’s best friends.  While Márez, Ultima’s precocious protagonist, is based loosely on author Rudolfo Anaya, the Vitamin Kid was based on Johnny Martinez who’s also become a legend in the Land of Enchantment.   Johnny Martinez and Rudolfo Anaya were friends and neighbors in Santa Rosa during more innocent times.  Back then you could hang out by the river with your friends all day long, but everyone skeddaled home before it got dark.  Dusk was when La Llorona began her vigil on the riverbanks wailing into the night and searching for children to drag, screaming to a watery grave.  Johnny remains wary of the river to this day.  Mostly, however, his memories of growing up in Santa Rosa are of more pleasant times–of the youthful adventures he shared with lifelong and new…