AlbuquerqueClosed in 2011DonutsGone But Not Forgotten

GoNuts Donuts – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Gil Garduno4:26 AM

Their Points of View. ‘Twixt optimist and pessimist The difference is droll; The optimist the doughnut sees – The pessimist the hole. – New York Sun, 1904 It’s almost deliciously ironic that the “Optimist’s Creed” references the oft-maligned donut. In recent years, donuts and their high-carb brethren have been damned and all but banned by the “nutritionally correct” who believe America should supplant these decadent orbs of sugary deliciousness with tofu, celery sticks, carrots and beef juice.  Donuts went through a period in which they were nearly as popular as terrorist extremists at a New York City fire department party.  Even the once sanctified Krispy Kreme saw its stock prices plummet. In such a climate of adversity, it is donut…

AlbuquerqueAsianChineseClosed in 2016Gone But Not Forgotten

China Best – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Gil Garduno3:27 PM

In the United States Navy and Coast Guard, no one is as revered, respected or admired as a sailor promoted within the enlisted naval ranks to Chief Petty Officer.  The “Chief” is expected to be a source of sagacity, a paragon of good will, an authority on personnel relations and the undisputed technical expert.  In the Navy, if you want to get something done, everyone knows to ask the Chief. Sailors in the three Chief Petty Officer ranks are accorded distinctive privileges such as a separate lounge, sleeping area and galley (kitchen for you landlubbers) on board  large naval vessels.  These areas reserved for Chiefs are known as the “goat locker” and by tradition all other personnel–up to and including…

AmericanClosed in 2011Gone But Not ForgottenNew MexicanRio Rancho

Sevyn’s Cafe – Rio Rancho, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Gil Garduno1:15 AM

During a 1996 episode of Seinfeld, George Costanza, a self-proclaimed “short, balding, unattractive man” made the mistake of telling his fiancee he wanted to name his child “Seven” after his idol Mickey Mantle.  To George’s chagrin, his fiancee’s cousins liked the idea so much they decided to name their own child Seven.  Even as the female cousin was being wheeled by an orderly into the delivery room, George tried in vain to convince them to name the child something else.  Six,  Thirteen, Fourteen, even…Soda.  “it’s bubbly, it’s refreshing!,” he cried. Driving by the familiar yellow roofed building that previously housed the now defunct Mad Max’s BBQ, I couldn’t help but laugh while recalling that hilarious episode.  There on that yellow…

AlbuquerqueIndianRating: ExcellentVegetarian/Vegan

Annapurna Ayurvedic Cuisine – Los Ranchos de Albuquerque, New Mexico

Gil Garduno11:14 AM

“Vegetarians, and their Hezbollah-like splinter faction, the vegans, are a persistent irritant to any chef worth a damn. To me, life without veal stock, pork fat, sausage, organ meat, demi-glace, or even stinky cheese is a life not worth living. Vegetarians are the enemy of everything good and decent in the human spirit, and an affront to all I stand for, the pure enjoyment of food.” Anthony Bourdain’s dour diatribe on the “evils” of vegeterians and vegans is hardly unwonted.  The internet is rife with mean-spirited assailments against people who choose a plant-based diet that includes fruits, cereal grains, seeds, nuts and vegetables and may or may not exclude dairy products and eggs.  Reciprocation in kind is also well represented…

IowaRating: ExcellentSandwichUnited States

Maid Rite – Osceola, Iowa

Gil Garduno3:28 AM

Several years ago my friend and colleague Bill “Roastmaster” Resnik and I had the opportunity to do what most employees only dream of.  We got to insult a corporate vice president for half an hour in the presence of even higher ranking corporate officials.  The occasion was the vice president’s retirement and we got to roast him– figuratively, but from the blush on his cheeks you might have thought it was literally.  It was one of the easiest from among the twenty or so roasts we’ve done because we had so much fodder with which to work.  The vice president was retiring to Iowa, a move which provided a wealth of material with which we could insult him. The roast…

BarbecueIllinoisRating: ExcellentUnited States

Gale Street Inn – Mundelein, Illinois

Gil Garduno1:31 PM

It took 47 years and one visit to the Gale Street Inn to understand why sailing vessels are ascribed the feminine gender. According to a placard on a wall at the Gale Street Inn, a nautical themed restaurant in the Northwest Chicago suburb of Mundelein, a ship is called a she because “there’s always a great deal of bustle around her…because there’s usually a gang of men around…because she has waist and stays…because she takes a lot of paint to keep her looking good…because it’s not the initial expense that breaks you, it’s the upkeep…because she is all decked out…because it take a good man to handle her right…because she shows her topside, hides her bottom and, when coming into…

IllinoisRating: OutstandingSandwichUnited States

JOHNNIE’S BEEF – Arlington Heights, Illinois

Gil Garduno7:53 PM

If you think Chicagoland politics are a contentious topic, try debating which restaurant serves up the best Italian Beef Sandwich in the “City of Big Shoulders.” Opinions don’t necessarily vary that widely as there are just a handful of restaurants which have truly distinguished themselves in the preparation of this Chicago staple. It’s in the intensity of the debate with which you might be surprised. Each of the anointed restaurants has its vocal supporters and each has its detractors and some in either party won’t hesitate to explain (with fisticuffs if necessary) why their choice is the best and yours is not. In 2009, the Travel Channel’s “Food Wars” program pitted two of Chicago’s most famous culinary rivals against one…

Closed in 2012DonutsGone But Not ForgottenIllinoisSpecialtyUnited States

Apple Haus – Long Grove, Illinois (CLOSED)

Gil Garduno3:07 AM

In grade school back in the 1960s, such characters as Paul Bunyan and Johnny Appleseed filled my mind with wonder and awe as I learned to determine fact from fiction (a process I still employ when listening to  nauseating political commercials which pollute the airwaves).  My mind was a veritable tabula rasa (blank slate) upon which my teachers (and my incessant poring over the Encyclopedia) imprinted knowledge of legend, lore, myth and fact.  Learning was a much more innocent process, not yet clouded with the cynicism wrought by historical revisionism based mostly on political ideology. Johnny Appleseed, it turns out, was very much man, not myth.  Born John Chapman, he became an American legend in America’s frontier days with an…

ContinentalIllinoisRating: N/R (Not Rated)

Bacchus Nibbles – Lake Zurich, Illinois

Gil Garduno2:39 AM

In Roman mythology, Bacchus was known as the god of wine and ecstasy. A youthful and handsome god with flowing tresses usually depicted wearing wine leaves or ivy on his head, he represented both the intoxicating and the beneficial influences of wine. Bacchanalian festivals, typified by riotous drunken merrymaking and sometimes orgiastic festivity are still celebrated in institutions of higher learning throughout America (who can forget the hilarious movie Animal House and the antics of the Delta House fraternity?). At Bacchus Nibbles Restaurant & Wine Shop, in Lake Zurich, a northwest Chicago suburb, wine can be appreciated in a “wine cave-like” atmosphere of civility and quaint refinement that  an aspiring sommelier might welcome. An impressive assemblage of wine, along with…

BarbecueMissouriRating: Very GoodUnited States

Gates Bar B. Q. – Independence, Missouri

Gil Garduno1:40 PM

The cognoscenti seem to agree that the American epicenters of barbecue excellence are Texas, Memphis, Kansas City and South Carolina. In Texas, barbeque briquettes are burnished with beef–lean beef brisket celebrating the best in king cattle. At Memphis, they go hog wild at the pits for pulled porcine perfection. In South Carolina, the self-professed “cradle of American barbecue,” swine dining means pork smothered in a mustard-based sauce. Kansas City claims to put it all together with more than 100 barbecue restaurants, several of which have earned worldwide acclaim and celebrity. Traditionally, Kansas City barbecue is dry-rubbed, slow roasted over hickory and slathered with rich, sweetly tangy, medium spicy, tomato-based sauces that stick to the meat. Gates Bar-B-Q is a “City…

AmericanClosed in 2017Gone But Not ForgottenMadridNew Mexico

Mama Lisa’s Ghost Town Kitchen – Madrid, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Gil Garduno5:13 PM

Steeped in rich history dating from the early 1800s, Madrid has been transformed from a hard- and soft-coal mining town with shafts as deep as 2500 feet down into a distinctive artist’s community. In the 1970s, artists and craftspeople converted old company stores and houses into shops, galleries and services. In doing so, they transformed what might otherwise have become yet another storied New Mexico ghost town into a popular tourist destination. Situated on the storied Turquoise Trail, Madrid is today a beautiful Bohemian escape city dwellers like me really enjoy. Madrid’s unique charm and slow pace of life are infectious. It’s easy to imagine a carefree life away from the maddening crowds and hustle and bustle of modern metropolitan…