The Pantry Restaurant – Santa Fe, New Mexico

“Although the skills aren’t hard to learn, finding the happiness and finding the satisfaction and finding fulfillment in continuously serving somebody else something good to eat, is what makes a really good restaurant.” In 1948, just three years removed from the second “war to end all wars” Santa Fe was hardly the sophisticated and cosmopolitan tourist haven Conde Naste Traveler magazine readers have named one of their favorite travel destinations for 21 consecutive years. With a population of around 25,000 citizens, Santa Fe’s art, cultural and architectural attractions weren’t nearly as well known as they are today, but then, the world wasn’t nearly as interconnected and small as it is today. For a bit more perspective on life in Santa Fe in 1948, consider that the state capital was yet to observe daylight savings time. 1948 was a leap year with 366 days and February 29th falling on a Sunday. The hottest day of the year was July 14th when Santa Fe hit a high temperature of 94 degrees. February 12th saw the coldest day of the year with a low temperature of -10, about 35 degrees below average for the day. Santa Fe saw 55 consecutive days with no…

Chillz Frozen Custard – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

“Custard: A detestable substance produced by a malevolent conspiracy of the hen, the cow, and the cook.” Ambrose Bierce, American writer (1842-1914) The Devil’s Dictionary (1906) Ambrose Bierce’s scathing definition of custard is not necessarily an expression of his disdain for the popular frozen dessert, but an example of his lampooning of American culture and especially its lexicon. Starting in 1881, the American satirist began writing The Devil’s Dictionary in which he published alternate and usually quite acerbic definitions of common words. His biting wit and sardonic views earned him the nicknames “cackling king of cynics” and “Bitter Bierce.” There are parts of the Midwest (the Milwaukee and St. Louis areas in particular) in which Bierce’s definition of custard would be considered sacrilege. Midwesterners feel so strongly about their custard, that an utterance of such blasphemy would be an occasion for a noose, a tall tree and a short drop. Their passion for frozen custard is akin to the love New Mexicans have for chile and never mind that winter temperatures throughout the Midwest can drop to near Arctic levels, custard is an year-round obsession. Just as most New Mexicans have a strong antipathy toward “chili” from Texas, Midwesterners abhor…

Terra Bistro Italiano – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

To some extent, people watch Anthony Bourdain for the same reasons they tune in to infamous shock-jock Howard Stern–to see what he’ll say next. Though Bourdain, the best-selling author, world traveler, renown chef and “poet of the common man” is hardly the potty-mouthed bane of the Federal Communications Commission that Stern is, his incisive comments are oft peppered with pejoratives and references to genitalia. They’re also laden with insightful, well-reasoned, highly intelligent and well articulated thoughts uncommon in the world of food television currently dominated by pretty faces with Ultra Brite smiles. In the 2010 season premier of his No Reservations show, the first words Bourdain uttered were “the optimist lives on a peninsula of infinite possibilities; the pessimist is stranded on the island of perpetual indecision.” It’s not every culinary celebrity who can quote William Arthur Ward, or even know who he is, but Bourdain is not only a fellow sybarite, he is well-read and highly intelligent. His introduction gave me pause to reflect on Ward’s words, one of my very favorite inspirational maxims. Just hours earlier, I was transformed from an eternal optimist to someone mired in indecision. What caused this transformation was nothing less than the perusal…

Chin Shan Chinese Restaurant – Albuquerque, New Mexico

According to the trade magazine Chinese Restaurant News, as of January, 2007, there were 43,139 Chinese restaurants in the United States. That’s three times the number of McDonalds franchise units and more than the total number of McDonalds, Burger King and Wendy’s in America combined. More than 80 percent are family-owned with nation-wide chains such as Panda Express and PF Chang’s accounting for only five percent of all Chinese restaurants across the fruited plain. Raking in nearly $17 billion in annual sales, Chinese restaurants are nearly on a profitability par with the behemoth burger chain, too. Until recent years, many (if not most) Chinese restaurants specialized in inexpensive all-you-can-eat buffets, most of dubitable quality. Today, buffets are the bailiwick of behemoth supermarket-sized Chinese restaurants, some of which can accommodate hundreds of hungry patrons. Chinese buffet restaurants remain very popular, perhaps as much because of economic considerations as for their prolific portions. Prodigious portions do not, however, transformative meals make. Few, if any, people who frequent Chinese buffets will admit to visiting because the food is so good it’s memorable. Urbanspoon shows there are nearly 100 Chinese restaurants (or Asian fusion restaurants featuring Chinese food) in the Duke City. Only a…

Sushiya Asian Fusion Cuisine – Albuquerque, New Mexico

“I don’t eat anything that a dog won’t eat. Like sushi. Ever see a dog eat sushi? He just sniffs it and says, “I don’t think so.” And this is an animal that licks between its legs and sniffs fire hydrants.”.“ – Billiam Coronel Sushi has come a long way in America.  There was a time–and not very long ago–that many Americans would have agreed with comedian Billiam Coronel’s assessment of sushi.  Fellow funny-man George Carlin certainly did: “I never eat sushi. I have trouble eating things that are merely unconscious.” The attitudinal shift that has made sushi an explosive American phenomenon was at its peak in the ten-year period beginning in 1998.  Ten years later, there were five times as many sushi bars in the fruited plain and there appears to be no surcease to the popularity of what so many people poo-pooed as just “raw fish” just a few years ago.  Sushi has become so popular, so trendy that Food and Wine wrote in 1995 that “America is becoming a nation of sushi connoisseurs.” There are over 330 sushi restaurants in greater Los Angeles, about 335 in New York City and nearly 300 in Dallas.  There are at least…

The Patio – Deming, New Mexico

Drive past Deming on the interstate and you’ll be bypassing one of New Mexico’s little known gems, a city once bestowed the nickname “New Chicago” in anticipation of its burgeoning growth with the surge of railroad usage.  Although the population boom never happened, there is still much about Deming to enjoy as rock hunters, history buffs and anthropologists will attest.  One of its charms are the duck crossings on the main street through the city.  Deming is home to the great American duck race, an annual event for more than three decades. One thing for which Deming has not been known is its burgers.  In fact, other than the ubiquitous LotaBurger,  there wasn’t a single burger joint representative on the New Mexico Green Chile Cheeseburger Trail in either 2009 or 2011.  Perhaps…no perhaps about it…there should have been.  The Patio, just east of downtown Deming, serves one of the very best green chile cheeseburgers in New Mexico.  The green chile cheeseburger is just one of fourteen burgers on the menu, not counting the innovative burger of the month.  May’s monthly honoree was a Salisbury steak burger complete with your choice of white or brown gravy and sauteed onions. The Patio…

Ancient Spirits Bar & Grille – Bernalillo, New Mexico (CLOSED)

“Ancient spirits dwell in New Mexico, since before the existence of humanity.” – The Husband: A Novel by Dean Koontz FROM THE ANCIENT SPIRITS BLOG ON JULY 17:  Due to unforeseen circumstances Ancient Spirits Bar and Grille has had to close its doors. We have lost one of our owner/investors and are searching for someone to take his place. We are hoping that this is only a temporary setback and that we will be able to open back up very soon. Sorry for the inconvenience and thank you for your support. The presence of ancient spirits is ubiquitous throughout New Mexico.  It’s a presence as palpable as a soft caress or a small, still voice.  You can feel that presence while standing reverently under a canopy of stars when the hushed stillness of an ebony night is punctuated by a gentle breeze.  You can sense those ancient spirits around craggy canyon walls which reach precipitously upwards to cerulean skies.  Contrary to what is popularly postulated, these spirits are earthbound not because of unresolved issues, but because they can’t bear to leave the preternatural beauty of the Land of Enchantment. Some will call it sacrilege, others will argue it’s a tribute,…

The Smokehouse Barbecue Restaurant (CLOSED)

The very best restaurants–those we’re proud to call our favorites–aren’t always the swankiest and most elegant venues.  They’re not even usually the restaurants you visit on special occasions.  They’re our favorites because for the duration of our meal, all our cares dissipate and our faith that everything will be okay is restored as we’re fed comforting, delicious food by servers we know and trust.  The Smokehouse has been such a refuge to hundreds of Rio Rancho area residents for nearly two and a half decades.  The Smokehouse’s last full day of operation was Saturday, June 22nd, 2013.  Then on Sunday night, June 23rd at 6PM, owner Gary West invited guests to a farewell soiree where he  exhausted his remaining food inventory: amazing smoked turkey, ribs and so much more.  There wasn’t  a charge for the meal though Gary jokingly had a jar in which guests could contribute to his retirement.  Gary will be leaving the desert climes of New Mexico for Hawaii where he plans to lead a life of leisure.  Aloha, Gary.  You and the Smokehouse will be missed. In his headlines segment on April Fools Day 2001, Tonight Show host Jay Leno had a good laugh at the…

Rafiki Cafe – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

“Let us break bread and celebrate our diversity.” ~Desmond Tutu Peruvian cuisine…been there, done that!  Moroccan meals…that’s so yesterday.  Persian food…it’s had its day.  Pan Asian dining…erstwhile eating.  Never mind Italian regional cuisine and Spanish tapas.  Once fresh and nouveau, they’re now practically prehistoric.  Who would have thought ten years ago that the Duke City would become so cosmopolitan, so open to multicultural culinary elements from all over the world?  Who would have guessed that cuisine once considered exotic and alien would become just another welcome part of the culinary climate? In contemporary times fashioned by an interconnected world, a community of intrepid diners in Albuquerque has become very receptive and accepting of new foods. We embrace diversity, craving adventurous eating and won’t hesitate to try anything new. In fact, we sometimes prefer to try something new than to return to something we’ve already experienced. We rarely order the same thing twice. Leave the aversion to change and to trying new things to the “chain gangs,” those diners who find comfort in the mundanity of chain restaurants. One of the exotic cuisines which has recently gained a foothold in the Duke City culinary scene is African cuisine though that term…

Lumpy’s Burgers – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Of all the adjectives that can be used to describe something or someone, lumpy is certainly not one of the most complimentary.  Think of all the Archie Bunker-like tantrums thrown during holiday meals when lumpy mashed potatoes are served or the breakfast battles that ensue when the oatmeal is lumpy. In fits of pique, seven-time Academy Award nominated actor Richard Burton often called his voluptuous wife Elizabeth Taylor “lumpy,” perhaps one of the reasons Hollywood’s most volatile couple was twice divorced and their relationship generally tumultuous. Perhaps worse than describing something as “lumpy” is giving someone that nickname. Consider the Saturday Night Live skit which poked fun at former University of New Mexico golfer and current PGA tour pro Tim Herron because the “less than svelte” golfer’s nickname is “Lumpy.”  Never mind that the self-deprecating Herron embraces the sobriquet, it’s often the target of derision.  The Leave It To Beaver television series of the 50s and 60s portrayed “Lumpy” Rutherford as a “hefty” teenage dullard who’s a bit of a bully. So why would a hamburger joint on Route 66 christen itself “Lumpy?”  Prospective diners would certainly hope it’s not a descriptive adjective for its burgers.  When owners Jay Kennedy…

Pranzo Italian Grill – Santa Fe, New Mexico

Can you imagine New Mexico Magazine‘s scintillating culinary liaison Cheryl Alters Jamison declaring to the world that Texas chili, that cumin-laden “con carne” bowl of red (insert your favorite epithet here), is superior to New Mexico’s red and green and that our chefs are shamelessly usurping Texas culinary traditions? Not even as an April Fool’s Day joke would she do that…and if she did, her husband Bill would probably have her committed. In May, 2013, an Italian culture minister committed a near treasonous act in declaring that “In Italy we haven’t eaten well for a long time, unfortunately. We have chased after the trends, the French, moving away from our idea of cooking.” The latter portion of that comment was especially perfidious to proud Italians, whose cuisine the international culinary community (and especially French propaganda) have long decried as inferior to the haute (and haughty) French cuisine. It would certainly be understandable if the cultural minister had bad-mouthed the Olive Garden, but certainly not the authentic and incomparable cuisine prepared in ristorantes, trattorias, osterias, pizzerias, paninotecas, caffes, saladates and gelaterias across Lo Stivale (the boot). If the emissary of eating doesn’t like the Italian food prepared in its country of…