Category: New Mexico

AlbuquerqueDog FriendlyDonutsNew MexicoRating: Excellent

Bristol Doughnut Co. – Albuquerque, New Mexico

Gil Garduno9:20 PM

While most people speak with fond nostalgia about their first ride on a double-decker bus, the memories of our inaugural trip are tinged with horror that traumatizes us to this day. As with most visitors making their first excursion to London, we wanted to take in all the sights with the best vantage point you can have. That meant sitting on the top deck of a double-decker. These bi-level behemoths ride higher than almost everything else on the road save for those noisy articulated lorries ( what we Yanks call semi-trailer trucks). Despite the congestion that typifies London’s streets, double-deckers provide spectacular, mostly unobstructed views of the city. Though we arrived early to ensure we got seats on the coveted top deck, a couple dozen early birds got there earlier. As we climbed the stairs to our lofty perch, the portly fellow in front of us “let ‘er rip,” emitting the most noxious effluvia imaginable. Our eyes began to water as we coughed and sputtered at the malodorous “silent but deadly” emanation. Surely this odoriferous rank was equal to or more potent than the sulfuric gates of Hell. Congestion at the top slowed our ascent and heightened our suffering. Then,…

AlbuquerqueNew MexicanNew Mexico

Stufys – Albuquerque, New Mexico

Gil Garduno4:41 PM

In a 2015 episode of Food Network Star competition, Lenny “The Cowboy Chef” McNab committed a serious culinary faux pas that brought about a serious rebuke from one of the celebrity judges.  During the “Cutthroat Kitchen” heat when contestants were asked to make a breakfast plate, Lenny used masa (corn flour) to make what he called sopaipillas.  Judge Bobby Flay took one bite of the “sopaipilla,” found the corn meal disk inedible and spit it out.  He then proceeded to give the Cowboy Chef an “if looks could kill” stare over having presenting the tainted tortillas as sopaipillas.  Flay was undoubtedly wondering if the Cowboy Chef was really from New York City…as in  “New York City!  Git a rope. An acknowledged expert on the cuisine of the great Southwest, Flay explained that a sopaipilla is a pillowy fried bread.  Misconceptions about the sopaipilla are definitely not solely the purview of the Cowboy Chef.  When The Daily Meal named the sopaipilla “the most iconic dessert” in the state of Arizona, they noted “Sometimes referred to as the Navajo taco, sopaipillais the correct name for the fried bread invented by the indigenous Navajo Indians, and the treat was voted the state dish of…

AlbuquerqueBurgersClosed in 2020Dog FriendlyGone But Not ForgottenRating: ExcellentSeafood

Flamez Bistro – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Gil Garduno9:51 PM

Hold the pickles Hold the lettuce Special orders don’t upset us All we ask is that you let us serve it your way In 1974, Burger King introduced its most successful and long-standing advertising campaign, the heart of which was “Have It Your Way,” a catchy jingle designed to contrast just how flexible Burger King is compared to its largest competitor, the ubiquitous McDonalds. The earworm-inspiring jingle told us we could have burgers made especially for us—tailor-made, customized, prepared any way we want them. It implied that unlike its rigid and inflexible competitor, Burger King recognizes our uniqueness and they celebrate it with burgers that reflect our individuality, lifestyles and dietary considerations. There are, Burger King tells us, 221,184 ways to have the Whopper made our way. It’s hard to fathom that nearly a quarter-million combinations are possible from a burger whose basic constituents are a flame-grilled quarter-pound beef patty, sesame seed bun, mayonnaise, lettuce, tomatoes, pickles, ketchup and sliced onion. Only a fuzzy-math-proficient government accountant could possibly appreciate and explain how a Whopper can be made your way so many ways. Whataburger, which prides itself on delivering each customer’s burger made-to-order, advertises 36,864 different ways to make a Whataburger and…

BarbecueBreakfastDog FriendlyFood Network Eats New MexicoNew MexicoRating: ExcellentSanta Fe

The Cowgirl BBQ – Santa Fe, New Mexico

Gil Garduno7:46 PM

Cowgirl” is an attitude really. A pioneer spirit, a special American brand of courage. The cowgirl faces life head-on, lives by her own lights, and makes no excuses. Cowgirls take stands; they speak up. They defend things they hold dear. ~Dale Evans In a 1980s commercial for Pace Picante sauce, several hungry cowboys threatened to string up the cook for brandishing a foreign-made (translation: not made in Texas) salsa.  “Why, this here salsa is made in New York City!”  “New York City?  Gil a rope!” With such a xenophobic attitude about New York City, you would think those cowboys would have raised a ruckus when a restaurant named the Cowgirl Hall of Fame launched in New York City.  “New York City?  Git a rope!”  The restaurant’s raison d’être was to promote the culture of the American cowgirl through the foods of the American West and Southwest.  On 1 June 1993, the second instantiation of the Cowgirl Hall of Fame opened its doors, this one in a hundred-year-old building in the historic Guadalupe district of Santa Fe.  Known today solely as Cowgirl BBQ, this quaint restaurant celebrates Cowgirls thematically and attitudinally. A portrait library is replete with photographs of National Cowgirl…

AmericanDog FriendlyNew MexicoRating: ExcellentSandwichTapas

Pig + Fig Cafe – White Rock, New Mexico

Gil Garduno12:01 AM

In its eighth season, the brilliant sitcom Seinfeld helped introduce casual comic book fans to the concept of Bizarro world, a setting which is weirdly inverted or opposite of expectations. In other words, a Bizarro world is a mirror image of conventionality, logic and reality, everything being reversed. Jerry Seinfeld’s polar opposite Kevin, for example, was depicted as kind, selfless and reliable in contrast to Jerry’s indifference, self-absorption and forgetfulness. Gene was quiet, studious, polite and giving while his Bizarro counterpart George was loud, obnoxious, cheap and slovenly. Some people believe there’s a polar opposite—a Bizarro version—of every one of us. I met “Bizarro Gil” while stationed at Keesler Air Force Base in Biloxi, Mississippi. While I (all modesty aside) consider myself a bit of a renaissance man, Derwin was atavistic, a throwback to the days of Ralph Kramden when men were short-tempered, disparaging and chauvinistic. He couldn’t understand why I would take my Kim out for dinner so often when there we had a perfectly good stove at home. It galled him that Kim often picked where we’d eat. His retort to that grievous affront was “The last time women decided what to eat, they doomed humanity for eternity,”…

Dog FriendlyNew MexicoPizzaRating: N/R (Not Rated)

Mamacita’s Pizza – Abiquiu, New Mexico

Gil Garduno10:58 AM

If you’re up north in the Abiquiu area perusing Yelp because you’re jonesing for New Mexican food, would you heed the recommendations–good or bad–of someone from Mississippi or Delaware or Texas?  No way!  You’d look at reviews written by savvy New Mexicans.  They’ll steer you right, probably to El Farolito in El Rito (15 miles away) or Angelina’s in Espanola (27 miles away). With all due apologies to my fellow New Mexicans, when we visited Abiquiu and were curious about a rather famous pizzeria, we didn’t put much stock in Yelp reviews written by denizens of the Land of Enchantment.  We were blown away by the sheer volume of reviews from out-of-staters (and not just Texans, Arizonans and Coloradans).  Mamacita’s Pizza has five star reviews from Toronto, Canada; Madison, Wisconsin; Brooklyn, New York; San Francisco, California and North Tonawanda, New York. The five-star review from North Tonawanda was especially significant because this western New York city is just a stone’s throw from the Buffalo home of Bocce Club Pizza, one of the very best pizzas I’ve ever had.  My dear friend Becky Mercuri had one shipped to me for my most recent 39th birthday.  It may have been the best…

Dog FriendlyNew MexicanNew MexicoRating: Very Good

Cafe Abiquiu – Abiquiu, New Mexico

Gil Garduno11:59 PM

In her correspondence with her best friend, Georgia O’Keeffe lamented that she “always has a hard time finding words for anything.” When it came to relaying her awe at the sensory wonder surrounding her in Abiquiu, O’Keeffe was never at a loss for words.   With a prosaic ease, she described her isolated idyll as “the most beautiful place you can imagine.  It’s so beautiful there.  It’s ridiculous.”  Her passion for the surreal topography, juniper laden foothills and the sheer energy of the Southwest shimmered with growing vibrancy when she wrote of them.  When her heart finally surrendered to the soul-touching experience of spectacular sunsets giving way to a night air swathed in a canopy of stars, she wrote her friend: “Tonight I walked into the sunset — to mail some letters — the whole sky — and there is so much of it out here — was just blazing — and grey blue clouds were riding all through the holiness of it — and the ugly little buildings and windmills looked great against it.”  Visit the idyll Georgia O’Keeffe called home and like her, you might find yourself lacking words adequate enough to describe what you’re experiencing. One of Georgia…

Dog FriendlyNew MexicanNew MexicoRating: OutstandingSanta Fe

La Choza Restaurant – Santa Fe, New Mexico

Gil Garduno12:02 PM

“I have tried to express the terrible passions of humanity by means of red and green.” ~ Vincent Van Gogh Using bold and furious brushstrokes and striking colors (mostly red and green), Van Gogh once created a painting intended to depict humanity at its lowest point. Calling it “Night Cafe” he described it as “…one of the ugliest I have ever done, a collection of clashing colors in the dreariest atmosphere.” To New Mexicans, the notion of red and green being ugly, dreary and clashing in any way is a heretical concept. For denizens of the Land of Enchantment, red and green are absolutely stunning especially when plated together over blue corn enchiladas stuffed with carne adovada. Red and green chile are why New Mexicans celebrate “Christmas” every day of the year. Unlike the dreary and ugly cafe of Van Gogh’s painting, New Mexico’s restaurants tend to be spectacular, especially when their ambiance is perfumed by the wondrous wafting of chile simmering over a stove. This rapturous redolence is the essence of enchantment, a veritable aphrodisiac to chile lovers everywhere. Very few restaurants prepare red and green chile as well as Santa Fe’s La Choza, an inviting domicile of deliciousness…

AmericanBreakfastClosed in 2021Gone But Not ForgottenNew MexicanNew Mexico

Bacon Jam – Cedar Crest, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Gil Garduno3:07 PM

“I think we love bacon because it has all the qualities of an amazing sensory experience. When we cook it, the sizzling sound is so appetizing, the aroma is maddening, the crunch of the texture is so gratifying and the taste delivers every time.” ~Alex Guarnaschelli NOTE: On July 31, 2020, the original Bacon Jam in Albuquerque closed its doors, but the Bacon Jam in Cedar Crest remains open.  While this review is based on visits to the Albuquerque location, I’m confident the Cedar Crest location will serve the same high quality food with the outstanding service we experienced every visit. With all due respect to the Iron Chef, we love bacon because we’re genetically disposed to love bacon!  It’s in our DNA.  We’re hard-wired to love bacon!  In much the same way the brain releases endorphins when we enjoy intensely piquant New Mexico raised chile, bacon’s savory flavor elicits a highly addictive response on our neurochemicals.  In a 2009 article, journalist-editor Arun Gupta of The Indypendent newspaper in New York, revealed that while bacon has eighteen ingredients, six of them are a type of umami, a Japanese term loosely translated to “deliciousness.”  Foods with umami have a meaty, savory…

AlbuquerqueBarbecueFood TruckNew MexicoRating: N/R (Not Rated)

Abq Grill n Que – Albuquerque, New Mexico

Gil Garduno6:44 PM

6 October 2020: From the Abq Grill n Que Facebook page – These unique times have forced us to make the very difficult decision to shut down our operations for the foreseeable future. We did not make this decision lightly, and it’s in the best interest of our family and our company’s future.  We will be using the next few months to evaluate our options, as well as augment our business so that we can offer some of our products in alternative ways. Please keep up with our website and social media for more information. “Low and slow.”  That’s not usually a term ascribed to the picturesque village of Corrales, New Mexico.  Well, at least not the “Low” part of the term.  “Slow,” however, is a way of life in Corrales.  Drive through the village at virtually any time of day or night and you can expect to go five, ten and even fifteen miles below the posted speed limit.  Driving through his hometown is the bane of my friend Sr. Plata’s existence.  He assures me the citizenry aren’t cowed by the police; they drive slow to take in all the sights.  Okay, that’s understandable, but not when Abq Grill…

AlbuquerqueAsianFood TruckNew MexicoRating: N/R (Not Rated)

Umami Moto – Albuquerque, New Mexico

Gil Garduno6:02 PM

In the vernacular of the cannabis culture–as I learned growing up in Northern New Mexico–the term “moto” translates from Spanish to “someone who enjoys “mota,” a slang term for marijuana.”  Visitors to the Duke City from Española, Peñasco, Chimayo and other villages up North would probably giggle if they espied the mobile kitchen (that’s food truck to you, Bob) named Umami Moto.  Though Umami Moto won’t be able to sate the cannabis cravings of any weed wanters, it would certainly take care of their munchies after they’ve scored a lid or two. With all due respect to hippie-lettuce-lovers everywhere, the term “moto” for which the aforementioned mobile kitchen is named is a Japanese term which means: “the cause; the foundation; the basis.”  Umami is also a Japanese term, but it’s one that’s not so easy to define.  You might even say it’s the je ne sais quoi of culinary terms.  At its essence, umami is the “fifth taste,” after salty, sweet, sour, and bitter, but it’s so much more. Writing for New Yorker, Hannah Goldfield defined umami as “that other thing, the thing you didn’t even know needed a concept or a name until someone pointed it out. That deep,…