Category: Albuquerque

AlbuquerqueClosed in 2021Dog FriendlyGone But Not ForgottenMexicanNew Mexico

Guaca Guaca Tacos & Beer – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Gil Garduno7:30 PM

What culinary voluptuaries consider exotic and delicious, timorous eaters might find distasteful and even nauseating. With M.F.K Fisher as their muse, culinary voluptuaries–the truly adventurous diners among us–don’t let themselves be drawn into a vortex of memories recalling foods they’ve already experienced. Instead, they live with carpe diem engraved on their hearts, ever in pursuit of their next culinary epiphany, the next “aha” moment when their taste buds awaken to never before experienced symphonies of incredible flavors. Sometimes to achieve the discoveries they crave, they have to reach into the distant past, their culture’s culinary roots. That’s certainly the case in contemporary Mexico where, for the past quarter-century or so, the scions of Montezuma have been frequenting restaurants and markets which prepare and serve Aztec foods.  “Wait,” you ask, “didn’t the Aztecs eat dogs, grasshoppers, iguanas and worms?  Is that what you mean by “Aztec Foods?”  While it’s true that the aforementioned proteins were staples of the Aztec diet and modern Mexican restaurants do offer several of them, the Mesoamerican culture also gave the world such everyday indulgences as avocado and chocolate. In Montezuma’s great city of Tenochtitlan (which the Spaniards later renamed Mexico City), chocolate was considered a luxury…

AlbuquerqueDog FriendlyIndianNew MexicoRating: Excellent

Curry Leaf – Albuquerque, New Mexico

Gil Garduno11:01 PM

Leonard: Is it racist that I took you to an Indian restaurant? Priya: It’s okay, I like Indian food. Leonard: Or as you probably call it back home, food. ~Big Bang Theory (Season Four, Episode 18) Queen Rania of Jordan cautioned against judging “through the prism of our own stereotypes.” Ill-founded stereotypes were very much in evidence after my team successfully landed an especially challenging project at Intel…and as with most stereotypes, they were based on faulty assumptions, overarching generalization and lack of experience. When we deliberated where to celebrate our achievement, my suggestion that our repast be held at an Indian restaurant was met with such comments as “Indian food is…too spicy, too rich, too much curry, too vegetarian” and worse, it “causes heartburn and (to put it mildly) gastric distress.” Prying more deeply revealed only one of my colleagues had ever actually ever tried Indian food. In truth, when it comes to Indian food, if we don’t subscribe to such stereotypes, even the most open-minded among us tend to generalize about it. Much as we do with Italian food, we compartmentalize Indian food as either “Northern” or “Southern,” generalizations which are inaccurate and which don’t do justice to…

AlbuquerqueDog FriendlyDonutsNew MexicoRating: Excellent

Bristol Doughnut Co. – Albuquerque, New Mexico

Gil Garduno9:20 PM

While most people speak with fond nostalgia about their first ride on a double-decker bus, the memories of our inaugural trip are tinged with horror that traumatizes us to this day. As with most visitors making their first excursion to London, we wanted to take in all the sights with the best vantage point you can have. That meant sitting on the top deck of a double-decker. These bi-level behemoths ride higher than almost everything else on the road save for those noisy articulated lorries ( what we Yanks call semi-trailer trucks). Despite the congestion that typifies London’s streets, double-deckers provide spectacular, mostly unobstructed views of the city. Though we arrived early to ensure we got seats on the coveted top deck, a couple dozen early birds got there earlier. As we climbed the stairs to our lofty perch, the portly fellow in front of us “let ‘er rip,” emitting the most noxious effluvia imaginable. Our eyes began to water as we coughed and sputtered at the malodorous “silent but deadly” emanation. Surely this odoriferous rank was equal to or more potent than the sulfuric gates of Hell. Congestion at the top slowed our ascent and heightened our suffering. Then,…

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Stufys – Albuquerque, New Mexico

Gil Garduno4:41 PM

In a 2015 episode of Food Network Star competition, Lenny “The Cowboy Chef” McNab committed a serious culinary faux pas that brought about a serious rebuke from one of the celebrity judges.  During the “Cutthroat Kitchen” heat when contestants were asked to make a breakfast plate, Lenny used masa (corn flour) to make what he called sopaipillas.  Judge Bobby Flay took one bite of the “sopaipilla,” found the corn meal disk inedible and spit it out.  He then proceeded to give the Cowboy Chef an “if looks could kill” stare over having presenting the tainted tortillas as sopaipillas.  Flay was undoubtedly wondering if the Cowboy Chef was really from New York City…as in  “New York City!  Git a rope. An acknowledged expert on the cuisine of the great Southwest, Flay explained that a sopaipilla is a pillowy fried bread.  Misconceptions about the sopaipilla are definitely not solely the purview of the Cowboy Chef.  When The Daily Meal named the sopaipilla “the most iconic dessert” in the state of Arizona, they noted “Sometimes referred to as the Navajo taco, sopaipillais the correct name for the fried bread invented by the indigenous Navajo Indians, and the treat was voted the state dish of…

AlbuquerqueBurgersClosed in 2020Dog FriendlyGone But Not ForgottenRating: ExcellentSeafood

Flamez Bistro – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Gil Garduno9:51 PM

Hold the pickles Hold the lettuce Special orders don’t upset us All we ask is that you let us serve it your way In 1974, Burger King introduced its most successful and long-standing advertising campaign, the heart of which was “Have It Your Way,” a catchy jingle designed to contrast just how flexible Burger King is compared to its largest competitor, the ubiquitous McDonalds. The earworm-inspiring jingle told us we could have burgers made especially for us—tailor-made, customized, prepared any way we want them. It implied that unlike its rigid and inflexible competitor, Burger King recognizes our uniqueness and they celebrate it with burgers that reflect our individuality, lifestyles and dietary considerations. There are, Burger King tells us, 221,184 ways to have the Whopper made our way. It’s hard to fathom that nearly a quarter-million combinations are possible from a burger whose basic constituents are a flame-grilled quarter-pound beef patty, sesame seed bun, mayonnaise, lettuce, tomatoes, pickles, ketchup and sliced onion. Only a fuzzy-math-proficient government accountant could possibly appreciate and explain how a Whopper can be made your way so many ways. Whataburger, which prides itself on delivering each customer’s burger made-to-order, advertises 36,864 different ways to make a Whataburger and…

AlbuquerqueBarbecueFood TruckNew MexicoRating: N/R (Not Rated)

Abq Grill n Que – Albuquerque, New Mexico

Gil Garduno6:44 PM

6 October 2020: From the Abq Grill n Que Facebook page – These unique times have forced us to make the very difficult decision to shut down our operations for the foreseeable future. We did not make this decision lightly, and it’s in the best interest of our family and our company’s future.  We will be using the next few months to evaluate our options, as well as augment our business so that we can offer some of our products in alternative ways. Please keep up with our website and social media for more information. “Low and slow.”  That’s not usually a term ascribed to the picturesque village of Corrales, New Mexico.  Well, at least not the “Low” part of the term.  “Slow,” however, is a way of life in Corrales.  Drive through the village at virtually any time of day or night and you can expect to go five, ten and even fifteen miles below the posted speed limit.  Driving through his hometown is the bane of my friend Sr. Plata’s existence.  He assures me the citizenry aren’t cowed by the police; they drive slow to take in all the sights.  Okay, that’s understandable, but not when Abq Grill…

AlbuquerqueAsianFood TruckNew MexicoRating: N/R (Not Rated)

Umami Moto – Albuquerque, New Mexico

Gil Garduno6:02 PM

In the vernacular of the cannabis culture–as I learned growing up in Northern New Mexico–the term “moto” translates from Spanish to “someone who enjoys “mota,” a slang term for marijuana.”  Visitors to the Duke City from Española, Peñasco, Chimayo and other villages up North would probably giggle if they espied the mobile kitchen (that’s food truck to you, Bob) named Umami Moto.  Though Umami Moto won’t be able to sate the cannabis cravings of any weed wanters, it would certainly take care of their munchies after they’ve scored a lid or two. With all due respect to hippie-lettuce-lovers everywhere, the term “moto” for which the aforementioned mobile kitchen is named is a Japanese term which means: “the cause; the foundation; the basis.”  Umami is also a Japanese term, but it’s one that’s not so easy to define.  You might even say it’s the je ne sais quoi of culinary terms.  At its essence, umami is the “fifth taste,” after salty, sweet, sour, and bitter, but it’s so much more. Writing for New Yorker, Hannah Goldfield defined umami as “that other thing, the thing you didn’t even know needed a concept or a name until someone pointed it out. That deep,…

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Pho Kup – Albuquerque, New Mexico

Gil Garduno12:21 PM

Virtually from infancy, my brother George was a prodigy with Lincoln logs, Erector sets and even Tinkertoys.  He could literally build anything.  That’s when he played indoors.  He preferred being out in the elements where weather-permitting, he would build solid and rainproof club houses and tree houses out of twigs, logs, boards and whatever else he could find.  In the winter, he built Eskimo-worthy igloos.  To no one’s surprise, George became a carpenter, quickly rising to the rank of construction superintendent.  Over a rather luminous career, he’s built stately residences as well as mission-critical structures and facilities at the Los Alamos National Labs.  In his rare spare time, he builds furniture and carves wood into artistic pieces. In entrepreneur Roy Solomon, George has a kindred spirit.  In 2015, Solomon launched a community-oriented commercial plaza constructed entirely with repurposed shipping containers as modular, architectural building blocks.   Christened the Green Jeans Farmery, the unique twist on a shopping plaza is an architectural marvel George would have enjoyed building.  Several among the cluster of shipping container buildings are connected by a bridge.  You can literally walk from one rooftop deck to another.  From the very beginning, Green Jeans Farmery has housed a number…

AlbuquerqueAmericanClosed in 2024Dog FriendlyGone But Not ForgottenNew MexicanRating: Excellent

Tia Betty Blue’s – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Gil Garduno11:55 AM

Tia Betty.  If the name conjures images of a dowdy old woman, a face etched with wrinkles and thinning grey hair pulled back neatly into a bun, you’re probably not alone.  Not even the youthfully ribald nonagenarian Betty White can alter the contemporary stereotypes ascribed to the increasingly anachronistic name Betty.  It wasn’t always the case.  In fact, there was a time  Betty was one of the most popular girl’s name in America and not just as a diminutive of Elizabeth or Bethany. According to the Social Security Administration, Betty was the fourth most popular girl’s name in the 1920s with more than 283,000 babies so christened.  Betty was an even more popular name in the 1930s when it ranked second among all girl’s names and was given to more than 300,000 infant girls.  The name declined in popularity in successive decades–from 11th in the 1940s, 35th in the 1950s,  102nd in the 1960s–before dropping from among the 200 most popular girl’s names cataloged by the federal government. There was also a time the name Betty conveyed images of voluptuous sexiness, especially on the big screen (though not even animated features were exempt).  The most enduring sex symbol of the…

AlbuquerqueBernalilloNew MexicoPaletasRating: ExcellentRio Rancho

The Paleta Bar – Bernalillo, New Mexico

Gil Garduno12:01 AM

A few decades ago, Mad Magazine (or was it Cracked) published a two-panel cartoon depicting a couple of gringo turistas visiting Mexico on a stifling summer day.  On the first panel, one turista tells the other that he heard Mexican Coke is much stronger than Coke bottled across the border in the states.  When the second turista opens the bottle, a fizzy carbonated explosion knocks down a bird flying overhead…proving, of course, that Mexican Coke is definitely stronger (not to mention better tasting). Even a camel would get thirsty in Mexico on a sweltering July day when temperatures flirt with the century mark and there are no cacti in sight to provide shade.  No matter how thirsty that infernal dry heat may leave you, don’t ever try to down an entire Mexican Coke in one swig.  My sole attempt at doing so left me convulsing and writhing like a wounded beast, thrashing out and roaring in pain.  After that, I swore off Mexican “soft” drinks–and since everyone knows that you don’t drink the water in Mexico, I had to find a delicious alternative to slake my thirst and ward off heat in Mexico.  Fortunately, Mexico is the birthplace of paletas,…

AlbuquerqueCosta RicanDiners Drive-Ins and DivesDog FriendlyFood Network Eats New MexicoLatin AmericanRating: Very GoodSandwich

Guava Tree Cafe – Albuquerque, New Mexico

Gil Garduno8:07 PM

A few years ago, my friend Bill Hanson, a gastronome of the first order, was hosting several of his Costa Rican employees at Intel’s Ocotillo (Arizona) plant. Like me, Bill delights in introducing his friends to new culinary adventures. Unfortunately, not all our colleagues were similarly inclined (despite one of Intel’s corporate values being “risk-taking”). One of them convinced the “Ticos” that the restaurant they should not miss for a “true American dining experience” was Claim Jumper, a regional chain (and slight upgrade from Chili’s). Ever the gracious host, Bill acquiesced to the Ticos’ request. I’ll let him describe the rest (from his gastronomic blog The Tao of Chow): “As each dish was produced and delivered to the table I sank further into my chair as the American decadence of over indulging was displayed in glorious Sysco provided plates heaping with food. Each dish could have easily have served three people as I sat and wondered how much food was actually consumed versus how much went into the dumpsters out back.” If the Ticos were disappointed in any way with the cavalcade of calorie-laden comestibles brought to the table, you’d never know it. To break bread (or arepas) with a…