Ale’s Cakes – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Hypocrisy thy name is Gil. “For someone who whined so much about a one-hour (each way) commute to work, you’re willing to drive a hundred miles for lunch” my Kim lamented.  Our lunch destination wasn’t nearly a hundred miles away, but when you’re hungry it probably seems that way.  It would have seemed even further had we traversed the entirety of the street in which our intended restaurant is located. In fact, from its starting point to its terminus, that drive would truly have seemed interminable through all its winding and congested permutations. The street of which I speak is Albuquerque’s own Coors Blvd, otherwise known as New Mexico State Road 45.  According to Wikipedia, Coors Blvd is 22,918-miles long…er,…

Sal’s Ristorante & Pizzeria – Albuquerque, New Mexico

“Everything you see, I owe to spaghetti.” ~Sophia Loren The ageless movie siren, perhaps the most voluptuous octogenarian in the world, is hardly a proponent of low carb diets, admitting to daily dosages of macaroni. She maintains her classic hourglass figure by limiting portions–never consuming too many calories in one meal–and by not overloading pasta with rich, thick cream or cheese sauces. Though La Dolce Sophia once told a Sunday morning CBS program that she cannot diet, she actually does adhere to a strict Mediterranean diet which advocates a lot of vegetables, olive oil, pasta and red wine. That Sophia Loren maintains a figure women half her age envy is a credit to her discipline.  For many of us, Italian…

Thai Street – Albuquerque, New Mexico

By chronological standards, Thai cuisine–especially as we know it today–is relatively new to the world culinary stage.  Culinary historians believe Thai cuisine may be as young as 1,400 years, coinciding with a mass migration of people from regions of China.  These settlers dined mostly on seafood, herbs and plants prepared mostly by stewing, baking and grilling (over time, stir-frying and deep-frying also became popular).  Large domestic animals such as water buffalo and oxen were too valuable to slaughter for food.  As such, meat was used very sparingly though considering the settlers’ propensity for seasoning, a small amount of meat went a long way.   While Chinese–particularly Szechuan–dietary practices were the most significant early influences, the introduction of other ingredients and…

ABQ Burrito – Albuquerque, New Mexico

Perhaps the only good thing that came from the Cabrona Virus was that many of us get to work from home.  Otherwise, the cost of commuting to work in this “build back better” economy would probably approach our meager wages.  Though not commuting to work spares us from cashing in our 4.1Ks in order to purchase fuel for our gas guzzlers, there are still times when we have to drive somewhere.  Like when we have to visit Albertson’s or Smith’s to scour the half-empty shelves for luxury items such as baby formula.   With “Putin’s inflation” making gas virtually unaffordable, budget-conscious consumers are desperate for alternatives to the land yachts we drive.  We’re walking to the mailbox instead of backing…

The Range – Bernalillo, New Mexico

The phoenix of ancient Egyptian mythology was a sacred firebird of beautiful red and gold plumage said to live for centuries. At the end of its life, the phoenix built itself a nest of cinnamon twigs which it then ignited. Both the phoenix and the nest burned fiercely and were reduced to ashes from which a new phoenix arose. Similarly, the Range Cafe in Bernalillo was claimed by a fiery conflagration only to rise up from the ashes to exceed its former glory to become one of the most popular restaurants in New Mexico. Like the phoenix, the Range is a rare breed–one of the few locally owned and operated (non-chain) restaurants which at any given time (make that, almost…

TIKKA HUT PIZZERIA AND KABOB HOUSE – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

“I’ll give you three guesses to tell me what tabula rasa means,” I challenged my friend and Wordle phenom Carlos.  “That’s easy,” my erudite amigo proclaimed, “Tabula Rasa was a silent screen actress in the 1920s.”  “Close,” I replied, “but you’re thinking about Tallulah Bankhead.”  “I was just kidding,” he demurred, “Everyone knows tabula rasa is a Mediterranean salad.”  “You’re getting closer,” I joked, “but the Mediterranean salad you’re thinking about is tabouli.”  On his third attempt, Carlos gave me the right answer: “I’m drawing a blank.” Tabula rasa, in fact, translates from Latin to “blank slate.” In psychology as well as in epistemology (theory of knowledge), tabula rasa refers to the idea that we are solely the product of…

Taste of Love – Albuquerque, New Mexico

NOTE: Taste of Love is no longer at the 505 Central Food Hall.  Follow them on their Facebook page. Ask virtually every chef and home cook what the secret ingredient to good cooking is and invariably their answer will be “love.”  Or in the case of Jersey Shore actor Michael Sorrentino, “The secret ingredient to every meal is love. And also garlic.”  Be forewarned, however, divulging “love” as the secret ingredient to good cooking might just get you in hot water with the Food and Drug Administration (FDA).   In 2017 the FDA reprimanded a bakery in Concord, Massachusetts for including the term “love” in its ingredient list for granola.  The over-reaching, humorless federal agency’s warning letter admonished: “Your Nashoba Granola…

El Roi Cafe – Albuquerque, New Mexico

You know you’ve been involved in project management for too long when the only thing that comes to mind when told about a restaurant named “El Roi” is “why would a restaurant be named for a Return on Investment (ROI).”  For those of us who have worked in Information Technology, ROI is a financial ratio used to calculate the benefit an investor will receive in relation to their investment cost.  Restaurants often have a poor return of investment–not just in financial capital, but in human capital.  Restaurants require a significant investment in time by owners as well as kitchen and “front of the house” staffs and the financial return isn’t exactly lucrative.  My Kim theorized that Roi is probably a…

The Feel Good – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

“Whoa! I feel good, I knew that I would, now I feel good, I knew that I would So good, so good, ’cause I got you So good, so good, ’cause I got you So good, so good, ’cause I got you.” ~James Brown The lyrics to the “Godfather of Soul’s” signature song aren’t etched on the windows or door of The Feel Good, but several other thematic aphorism are.  There’s Virginia Wolf’s quote, “One cannot think well, love well, sleep well, if one has not dined well.”  M.F.K. Fisher’s “Sharing food with another human being is an ultimate act that should not be indulged in lightly” is etched on the door while Alan D. Wolfelt’s sage “Food is symbolic…

Red Onion Lounge – Heber, Arizona

On 5 November 1975, a seven-man logging crew working in the Sitgreaves National Forest near Heber, Arizona experienced what has become the most documented UFO (UAP or unidentified aerial phenomena, if you prefer) sighting and abduction in history. As the crew was wrapping up for the day, they saw a bright light off to their right. When they approached, they espied a bright saucer-shaped UFO  (UAP) hovering about 20 feet over a clearing.  Travis Walton was the only one who got out of the truck to investigate.  He was quickly knocked to the ground by a bright, blue-green beam of light.  Five days and six hours later, Walton awoke on the outskirts of Heber. Not surprisingly, the veracity of the…

PANE BIANCO – Phoenix, Arizona

When she lived in Tucson, Arizona Republic dining critic Andi Berlin would drive nearly two hours  to Phoenix to enjoy foods that can’t be found anywhere else in Arizona.  One of the five held such sway over her that she actually moved to the Valley of the Sun so that she could enjoy it more often.  Now that’s a gastronome after my own heart!  Among the cinquefoil restaurants was Pane Bianco, whose sandwiches Andi says “are so perfect that they’ve achieved cult status.”  Perfect sandwiches!  Hmm, that’s a good reason to relocate and maybe the reason the Phoenix real estate market is among the nation’s top 10 hottest markets.   During dozens of trips to Phoenix over my eighteen-year tenure at Intel, I would…