AlbuquerqueClosed in 2019Gone But Not ForgottenNew MexicoSpanishTapas

The Cellar – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Gil Garduno1:20 PM

While touring Granada, Spain during a 2013 episode of CNN’s Parts Unknown, Emmy award-winning celebrity host Anthony Bourdain bemoaned that “we will never have tapas culture in America.” Then, to emphasize his contention even further (and perhaps to rankle the ire of American foodies who frequent “tapas” restaurants across the fruited plain), he challenged viewers: “You may think you know what a tapa is, like if you’ve had small bites at some fusion hipster bar where they do a whole bunch of little plates. Yeah, that ain’t a tapa.” Bourdain, a best-selling author, world traveler, renowned chef and “poet of the common man” doesn’t just vociferate controversial statements because it’s good television. Agree with him or not, he knows what he’s talking about. When he says we will never have tapas culture in America, the operative word is “culture” as in the social practices associated with tapas. In Spain, tapas isn’t a formulaic approach in which a restaurant (or more likely, a drinking establishment) serves “small plates.” It’s so much more than that. In modern day Spain, tapas are not only a gastronomic custom, they are a deeply rooted social and communal event described by Travel and Leisure as “walking,…

New MexicanNew MexicoRating: Very GoodSanta Fe

El Comal Cafe – Santa Fe, New Mexico

Gil Garduno8:22 PM

From a social connectedness perspective, 1995 was the dark ages. The internet as we know and love it today was in its relative infancy. There was no Urbanspoon, no Yelp, no Gil’s Thrilling (And Filling) Blog…no trusted online resource to enlighten and entice diners. My only knowledge of Santa Fe’s restaurant scene came from fading memories and a 1994 article on Fortune magazine naming the City Different as one of the fruited plain’s ten best dining destinations. The article listed such stalwarts as the Coyote Cafe, Santacafe and the Tecolote Cafe as among the city’s best. After nearly two decades of wanderlust and travel courtesy of the United States Air Force, I had finally returned home to New Mexico and looked forward to introducing my bride of ten years to one of Fortune magazine’s anointed restaurants. It was our first excursion together to Santa Fe and my first opportunity to impress my Kim with sophisticated Santa Fe cuisine. My mom who’s infinitely more intelligent than I am had other ideas, steering us away from Fortune magazine’s popular tourist destinations and introducing us to one of Santa Fe’s quintessential off-the-beaten-path, mom-and-pop restaurants, a gem named El Comal. By 1995, El Comal…

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Olive Branch Bistro – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Gil Garduno7:55 PM

The depiction of a dove in flight with an olive branch in its beak is common in early Christian art and tradition. The dove symbolizes the Holy Spirit while the olive branch is seen as a symbol of peace. Christian tradition, as chronicled in Genesis 8:11, describes a dove carrying an olive branch to signal the cessation of flooding throughout the world after forty days and forty nights of rain: “And the dove came in to him in the evening; and, lo, in her mouth was an olive leaf pluckt off: so Noah knew that the waters were abated from off the earth.” Greek mythology mentions the olive branch numerous times, including during a tale of a competition between Athena, the goddess of the wisdom and Poseidon, the god of the sea. With both immortals vying to become the patron deity of Athens, the victor and recipient of the city itself would be determined by which of the immortals bestowed the city with the best gift. Poseidon stuck his massive trident into the ground to create a well of briny sea water, a fairly useless gift. The wise Athena then planted a simple yet infinitely more useful olive tree beside…

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Ruth’s Chris Steak House – Albuquerque, New Mexico

Gil Garduno5:35 PM

During a recent Friends of Gil (FOG) outing, a newcomer asked how my Kim and I can afford to eat out as often as we do (about three times week on average). The practice of “dating your mate” is something we began half a lifetime ago when we were stationed in Mississippi and my Air Force salary was, to put it conservatively, considerably less than one-thousand dollars for every year of my life. Despite the fact that I’d been handpicked for the only job of its kind in my career field, a position with significant responsibilities usually accorded to someone of higher grade and experience–not to mention the possibility of war and deployment every service member faces–by most standards we would probably be considered at the bottom rung of the middle-class. Our date nights could hardly be considered extravagant or high-end. Fortunately the Gulf Coast had a multitude of reasonably priced restaurants serving high quality seafood, Southern cuisine and barbecue. During our frequent visits to New Orleans, we favored“second tier” (in reputation and price, but certainly not in quality) Cajun and Creole restaurants because we couldn’t afford the anointed restaurants that had made the Crescent City a world-renowned dining destination.…

AmericanNew MexicoRating: N/R (Not Rated)Santa Fe

Museum Hill Cafe – Santa Fe, New Mexico

Gil Garduno11:35 PM

Widely reputed to have the most spectacular views in Santa Fe and boasting of four world-renowned museums, Museum Hill may be the only location where visitors are more in awe of the site’s breathtaking backdrop than they are of the contents of the magnificent repositories that house the area’s cultural and historical heritage. Set in an idyllic haven surrounded by panoramic views of hills dotted with dessert flora, colorful weather-worn mesas and verdured mountains, Museum Hill inspires awe and wonder. Whether bathed in clear, unobstructed cerulean skies or punctuated by ethereally wispy clouds painted red, yellow and orange by fiery sunsets, incomparable vistas surround you. Perched on a hillside a scant two miles off the historic Santa Fe Trail, Museum Hill area is home to the Museum of Spanish Colonial Art, Museum of Indian Art and Culture, the Museum of International Folk Art and the Wheelwright Museum of the American Indian. A new addition, Santa Fe’s Botanical Garden sits across the street. Atop Museum Hill’s “upper deck” is the expansive Milner Plaza which houses two of the quadrumvirate of museums. The concrete plaza is surrounded by a beautifully manicured array of native grasses, sages and trees interspersed with stunning Native…

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Savory Fare – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Gil Garduno8:13 PM

Back in the mid 70s, anyone in Albuquerque’s southeast quadrant who wanted privacy knew they could find it at the Burger Chef restaurant in the Gibson and San Mateo area. It was the place seemingly designated for undisturbed break-ups (this was in the dark ages before texting and email were the preferred mediums for breaking-up). Once a burgeoning franchise second only to McDonald’s in the fast food arena, Burger Chef was in a state of rapid decline and even during lunch hours, few diners patronized it. Our inaugural dining experience at Savory Fare rekindled memories of a long-ago visit to Burger Chef when I was one of only two diners in the whole place and one of us was soon-to-be on the receiving side of bad news (the “Dear Gil” kind). While cavalcades of cars were driving up for their Egg McBorings and whatever breakfast banality Burger King offers, my Kim and I were–for nearly twenty minutes–the only diners at Savory Fare. Though I was fairly certain my bride of thirty years wasn’t breaking up with me, I wondered why this cafe-bakery wasn’t overflowing with patrons. Surely the savory fare for which the restaurant is named wasn’t as uninspired as…

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A Taste of the Caribbean – Albuquerque, New Mexico

Gil Garduno11:53 PM

One of the most hilarious from among so many classic Seinfeld vignettes transpired in an episode fittingly entitled “The Comeback” which first aired in 1997. During a business meeting, the ever irascible George Costanza is unabashedly stuffing his face with shrimp when Reilly, a co-worker, notices his gluttony and remarks “Hey, George, the ocean called. They’re running out of shrimp.” Unable to retaliate with a quick retort, the slow-witted George obsesses about the perfect comeback and recreating the encounter so he can deliver it. Ultimately he crafts a rejoinder he finds witty, but which his friends dismiss as nonsensical. Bringing in a tray of shrimp he begins to cram into his mouth predictably evokes the “running out of shrimp” comment which had so torqued him off. When George responds with “Well, the Jerk Store called and they’re running out of you,” Reilly shoots back with “What’s the difference? You’re their all-time best seller.” You know you’re food-obsessed when the first thing that comes to mind when watching that episode (or the Steve Martin movie “The Jerk”) is jerk chicken, jerk pork, jerk goat, jerk fish, jerk vegetables and the wondrous jerk seasonings which bring so much invigorating flavor to any…

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Beto’s Cocina – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Gil Garduno7:22 PM

It’s a folly of the human condition that we tend to go looking for exciting food in all the shiny new restaurants…only to find it in the venerable restaurants that time has nearly forgotten. The fleeting, fickle nature of our fascination with something new and something different is so strong that some restaurants actually peak in popularity within a few months after opening, particularly after their first glowing reviews. Perhaps indicative of our human need for constant new sources of stimulation and gratification, diners (and restaurant critics) flock to new restaurants like moths to a flame. In our minds, new seems to translate to fresh and exciting. We seem drawn to the spit, polish and promise of new restaurants in our constant quest for new and different. In time the flash and panache of modernity wears out and restaurants which survive the ravages of time and the fickleness of the dining public come to be referred to as “venerable” or an “institution.” True, there are some which–much like a lonely grandfather in a nursing home–wait eagerly for visitors that never come, but most have carved out a niche of regulars who visit with regularity. Those of us who have achieved…

AlbuquerqueMariscosMexicanRating: Excellent

El Zarandeado – Albuquerque, New Mexico

Gil Garduno12:23 PM

“Anyway, like I was sayin’, shrimp is the fruit of the sea. You can barbecue it, boil it, broil it, bake it, saute it. Dey’s uh, shrimp-kabobs, shrimp creole, shrimp gumbo. Pan fried, deep fried, stir-fried. There’s pineapple shrimp, lemon shrimp, coconut shrimp, pepper shrimp, shrimp soup, shrimp stew, shrimp salad, shrimp and potatoes, shrimp burger, shrimp sandwich. That- that’s about it.” – Bubba from Forrest Gump Benjamin Bufford “Bubba” Blue may have thought he knew all there was to know about shrimp, but he didn’t know about camarones and he had no idea about ceviche. In 1967 while Bubba was in Vietnam helping “save the world for Democracy,” only the jet-setters who spent time in Mexico’s coastal regions had an inkling about the magical things which could be done with mariscos (Mexican seafood) freshly plucked out of the sea. In 1967 American restaurants–particularly steak restaurants–were still serving butterflied fried shrimp in “surf and turf” entrees and calling it gourmet. Long John Silvers was still two years away from making inexpensive shrimp available to the masses. The most exotic use of shrimp during the year of the “summer of love” was probably on Chinese dishes. Mariscos restaurants didn’t make significant…

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Desert Grows – Los Ranchos de Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Gil Garduno9:00 PM

“And he gave it for his opinion, that whoever could make two ears of corn, or two blades of grass, to grow upon a spot of ground where only one grew before, would deserve better of mankind, and do more essential service to his country, than the whole race of politicians put together.” – Jonathan Swift, Gulliver’s Travels Had Jonathan Swift not uttered those words of sagacious cynicism, there’s a good chance Armand Saiia would have. It’s a sentiment that resonates with Armand, the effusive chef-owner of Desert Grows. Sensing our confusion as we approached the towering trees providing sweet, salubrious shade to a charming courtyard at his first Albuquerque location, Armand welcomed us to one of the Duke City’s most unique and most welcoming milieus, assuring us that we were indeed at the right place. Only partially joking, he explained that the goal of his restaurant is to “provide food on Route 66 for the 99-percent” and that he would like to “turn the Route 66 upside-down as a sign that the 99-percent of us are in distress.” Route 66, or at least the original route that meandered south from Santa Fe through Fourth Street is where Desert Grows…