Category: New Mexico

BurgersClosed in 2018Gone But Not ForgottenNew MexicoRating: ExcellentRio Rancho

Toro Burger – Rio Rancho, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Gil Garduno5:36 PM

While watching a “sanitized for television” version of the audacious satirical comedy Blazing Saddles, my precocious six-year-old niece asked several questions with deep sociological implications: “Why is everyone in the town of Rock Ridge named Johnson? Why were all the town’s citizens white?” From her silence, you’d think my Kim was a “perp lawyering up” at a police inquiry. Rather than responding herself, she enjoyed seeing my brother and I hem and haw in trying to give accurate and age-appropriate answers. Far easier to answer were Blazing Saddles questions which inspired nostalgic reflection: “Is there a Howard Johnson’s Ice Cream Parlor in Albuquerque? Does Howard Johnson’s really serve only one flavor?” For those of us who grew up in the dark ages, Howard Johnson’s restaurants were almost as ubiquitous as McDonald’s are today. During its halcyon days (peaking in 1975), more than 1,000 “Ho Jo’s” restaurants and motor lodges dotted the American landscape, their distinctive orange roofs a familiar beacon for hungry sojourners. Among the restaurants’ culinary draws were its 28 flavors of butterfat-enhanced ice cream and fried clam strips, an exotic offering theretofore available only in New England. The Marriott Corporation’s 1982 acquisition of all Howard Johnson’s properties signaled…

AlbuquerqueAmericanBar & GrillDog FriendlyRating: Very GoodTapas

Gecko’s Bar & Tapas – Albuquerque, New Mexico

Gil Garduno5:39 PM

One of the best examples of the dichotomy of human nature can be illustrated in the way we react to lizards. The mere sight of a lizard scurrying around can send shivers down the spine of otherwise reasonable and intrepid people. Many of us are repulsed or frightened in the presence of any slithering reptile. In Tripoli the sight of a lizard is held to cause women to bear speckled children. To others, however, lizards are a portend of good luck, a source of entertainment and a symbol of plenty. Biographies written by several former prisoners of war in Vietnam recount being entertained by the scampering of geckos. Throughout the Mediterranean, the lizard is fondly regarded as an old family friend. In Manhattan’s bustling Madison Avenue, long metonymous with the American advertising industry, the gecko is viewed as a wildly popular success story. Since the GEICO gecko made its debut in the Millennium year, it has been an advertising icon and one of America’s favorite anthropomorphic characters. The gecko’s sense of humor, affability and selfless nature (exemplified by his desire to help people find the best values in insurance) endear him to children of all ages and reinforces the advertising…

AlbuquerqueBurgersClosed in 2017Gone But Not ForgottenNew Mexico

Pete’s Frites – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Gil Garduno12:15 PM

You might view my friend Schuyler’s insistence that his favorite vegetables are French fries, salsa and pizza as a fallacious premise, a non-sequitur fraught with absurdity. French fries are made from potatoes (botanically classified as a vegetable) so categorizing fries as a vegetable might not be a stretch, but pizza? How, you might ask, could any reasoning adult possibly consider pizza a vegetable? Schuyler’s argument is inspired from the beloved 1947 holiday classic Miracle on 34th Street. When ordered by the court to submit authoritative proof that Mr. Kringle is the one-and-only Santa Claus, Kringle’s lawyer Fred Gailey produced dozens of mailbags brimming with letters addressed to Santa Claus in care of the courthouse. Overwhelmed with this authoritative proof, the judge responded “Since the United States government declares this man to be Santa Claus, the court will not dispute it.” By now you’ve probably surmised that Schuyler must have uncovered authoritative proof in the form of a governmental declaration that French fries, pizza and salsa are vegetables. Indeed he has. He points out that in 2011, the United States Congress passed a bill that allows pizza and French fries to remain on federally funded school lunch menus, essentially declaring that…

AlbuquerquePizzaRating: Very Good

Pizza Castle – Albuquerque, New Mexico

Gil Garduno11:59 PM

There’s nothing like a topic about which opinions are wide and varied to stir up a good old-fashioned, highly spirited debate–an exercise in the Constitutional right of free speech. One topic which has been known to elicit energized dialogue is pizza. Whether the debate is New York style versus Chicago style, thin crust versus thick crust, brick wood-fired oven versus gas oven, mom-and-pop pizzeria versus the corporate chains or even slices versus whole pie, Americans sound off like England’s Houses of Parliament on CSPAN, only with more class, dignity and intelligence. Such was the case in 2008 when the forum topic “Where Can I get a good Pizza” was introduced on Albuquerque’s most popular blog, the Duke City Fix. The blogosphere became electric with debate as Duke City pizza lovers weighed in with their opinions. As with most debates on pizza, there was nothing approaching consensus on where good pizza could be obtained. Respondents lobbied for their favorite pizza, in some cases only to have their opinions dismissed (without prejudice, of course) by others. The topic was so wonderfully charged that it elicited a related forum topic “The Worst Pies (Pizza) in Albuquerque.” This debate also raged on with several…

AlbuquerqueNew MexicoRating: GoodSeafood

Crackin’ Crab Seafood Boil – Albuquerque, New Mexico

Gil Garduno9:13 PM

There are certain notions people find too implausible or preposterous to believe. Case in point: during a recent lunch with my friend Bill Resnik, our waitress asked what we did for a living. Bill told her I was an actor, a premise our waitress found entirely credible—even to the point of recalling she may have seen me in an episode of Breaking Bad. When, however, I told her Bill was a porn star, she couldn’t contain her laughter. She practically fell over in hysteria at the image of my towering (6’5″) friend performing in a porno as if it was the most hilarious thing she’d ever heard. After she composed herself, she told me I was full of sh… er, excrement. My response: “full of sh..” was Bill’s porn name when he starred in diaper fetish movies. We thought we’d have to hose her down when even more raucous fits of laughter ensued. Another notion New Mexicans find implausible is the idea that very good to excellent seafood can be found within the landlocked borders of the Land of Enchantment. Since the rapid fire succession closure in the early 2000s of Cafe Oceana, the Rio Grande Yacht Club and Seagull…

BakeryBreakfastFood Network Eats New MexicoNew MexicoRating: ExcellentSanta Fe

Chocolate Maven Bakery & Cafe – Santa Fe, New Mexico

Gil Garduno7:24 PM

In the polytheistic world of the Mesoamerican cultures (which include the Aztecs and Mayans), Quetzalcoatl was revered as the creator deity and patron of priests, merchants and rulers. Known as the “feathered serpent,” Quetzalcoatl was also associated with the cocoa bean and with chocolate. Great temples were erected in his honor and chocolate was offered to him. Montezuma, the 16th century Aztec ruler revered him. In Montezuma’s great city of Tenochtitlan (which the Spaniards later renamed Mexico City), chocolate was considered a luxury drink reserved exclusively for gods and the ruler class. It is believed that Montezuma’s daily constitution included 50 goblets of a finely ground, foamy red dyed chocolate flavored with chili peppers, vanilla, wild bee honey and aromatic flowers. Today, chocolate is no longer considered exclusive to a privileged class and the celebrity-worshiping modern world no longer holds Quetzalcoatl, the “god of chocolate” in reverence. No longer are temples built in his honor or sacrifices of chocolate made in his name. Modern temples celebrating chocolate are ubiquitous in the modern world. One of New Mexico’s most renown and revered chocolate temples is the Chocolate Maven Bakery & Cafe, situated in an edifice which, from the exterior, more closely…

AlbuquerqueClosed in 2018Gone But Not ForgottenMiddle EasternNew Mexico

Aura European and Middle Eastern Restaurant – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Gil Garduno12:01 AM

Countries and states may recognize borders but food doesn’t, especially today in an increasingly connected world where it’s possible to enjoy the cuisine of many of the world’s diverse and distant cultures without crossing a single border. Attribute the modern world’s dietary diversity to improved agricultural, transportation and preservation methods as well as rampant imperialism throughout the history of humankind. Consider the culinary influence of invading forces on the ancient nation of Armenia. During the course of its storied history, Armenia was invaded and occupied in succession by Persians, Byzantines, Mongols and Turks, all of whom left their mark on the cuisine. Though we were pretty sure the menu at Aura European and Middle Eastern Restaurant in Albuquerque would offer diversity, the terms “European” and “Middle Eastern” cast a rather broad net. European, for example, could encompass Spanish tapas, Italian pastas, French crepes and so much more. Similarly Middle Eastern is a rather broad category that could describe the cuisine of several nations and cultures, not all of whom share similar palates. There is no way, we thought, any restaurant could possibly attempt such a broad brush approach to European and Middle Eastern cuisine. There’s just too much diversity to…

AlbuquerqueAmericanBreakfastBrunchClosed in 2017Diners Drive-Ins and DivesDog FriendlyFood Network Eats New MexicoGone But Not ForgottenRating: Outstanding

Eli’s Place (formerly Sophia’s Place) – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Gil Garduno3:49 AM

NOTE: In March, 2018, Sophia’s Place reopened.  Please click here for the updated review. Picture yourself as a first-year marketing student assigned by your professor to perform a marketing analysis of Eli’s Place and its enigmatic chef-owner Dennis Apodaca. Essentially you’ve got to figure out the rhyme and reason behind the restaurant’s success. “Easy assignment,” you think to yourself, “Eli’s Place is successful because it serves some of the best, most delicious food in Albuquerque.” Your research quickly reveals, however, that Eli’s Place actually violates many of the time-honored, trusted and fundamental marketing tenets of growing and successful businesses. From a marketing perspective, it just shouldn’t work as well as it does. Any Marketing 101 student can tell you, for example, the importance of brand identity. A brand is one of the most valuable and important assets of a restaurant. It needs to be carefully cultivated to ensure it properly and authentically reflects the values, attributes and passions of a business. Eli’s Place received an enormous boost to its brand identity in 2008 when the Food Network came calling. Being featured on Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives is generally worth a fortune to any restaurant. So what does Dennis Apodaca do?…

Closed in 2018Gone But Not ForgottenNew MexicanNew Mexico

Los Chavez Cafe – Belen, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Gil Garduno12:25 PM

Vamos todos a Belen Con amor y gozo. Translated from Spanish, those words–lyrics to a traditional New Mexican nativity song–mean “Let’s all go to Bethlehem with love and joy.” In villages and cities throughout Northern New Mexico, peregrines sing that song as they reverently process from house-to-house reenacting the Gospel of Luke account of Mary and Joseph and their search for shelter. Peregrines repeat their search every night during the nine days preceding Christmas, culminating with Midnight Mass on Christmas Eve. Known as “Las Posadas” this Catholic tradition often incorporates farolitos, lighted candles weighted with sand in paper bags which light the way for the peregrines and the Christ child yet to be born. You couldn’t blame the Belen Chamber of Commerce if they ever decide to co-opt the lyrics “Vamos todos a Belen con amor y gozo.” It would make a great marketing campaign, an invitation to visit the “Hub City” with love and joy. While some of us may not associate love and joy with a visit to Belen, New Mexico, there’s much to love about the second most populous city in Valencia County. If you regard Belen as solely a place en route to somewhere else, you’re…

BurgersRating: Very GoodSanta Fe

Shake Foundation – Santa Fe, New Mexico

Gil Garduno12:30 PM

If it seems there’s a glut of restaurants brandishing a much-hyped and often self-glossed as “best” version of New Mexico’s fabled green chile cheeseburger, it won’t surprise you to read that yet another purveyor of the Land of Enchantment’s sacrosanct sandwich entered the fray in January, 2014. What might surprise you is its most worthy motto and raison d’etre: “Dedicated to the preservation of the original green chile cheeseburger.” Just what exactly does that mean? If, like me, your initial inclination is to question why at its pinnacle of popularity, the green chile cheeseburger needs to be preserved, you’re missing the point. Likewise, the motto has nothing to do with mimicking the burgers crafted by New Mexico’s two claimants to being progenitor of all green chile cheeseburgers: The Owl Cafe & Bar and Bert’s Burger Bowl. The Shake Foundation is all about preserving and honoring the inviolable traditions and impeccably high standards of the green chile cheeseburger. It’s about crafting the type of green chile cheeseburgers that trigger memories of unforgettable burgers past while creating new memories that will have you eagerly anticipating your next great green chile cheeseburger. Despite its “mission statement,” the Shake Foundation isn’t based solely on…

AmericanClosed in 2023Gone But Not ForgottenSanta Fe

Loyal Hound Pub – Santa Fe, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Gil Garduno9:31 AM

“It’s me or the dog!” That’s the ultimatum my friend Eric was given by his then-fiancee. It was one of several augurs of an ill-fated marriage only my friend with the rose-colored-glasses failed to see. Three years later as the divorce was finalized, Eric tearfully realized he had made the wrong decision. A dog’s loyalty can never be questioned. A spouse’s eyes and heart can–and often do–wander as had been the case in this troubled marriage. Psychology professor Stanley Coren correctly postulated that “the greatest fear dogs know is the fear that you will not come back when you go out the door without them.” You can only imagine the heartbreak Pepper, Eric’s dog, felt when left in the care of strangers. Dogs don’t abandon their owners. They love us unconditionally and are unfailingly loyal even when we don’t deserve it. For those of us whose lives have been enriched by dogs, the term “man’s best friend” doesn’t come close to describing the bond we share. For many of us, dogs are four-legged children. David Readyhough and Renee Fox love their dog Lola so much that they wanted to name their restaurant after her. After agreeing that “Lola” sounded like…