AlbuquerqueClosed in 2021Dog FriendlyGone But Not ForgottenNew MexicoSandwich

Filling Philly’s – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Gil Garduno6:00 PM

In 2008, Philadelphia, which translates from Greek to “the City of Brotherly Love” was named by Forbes Magazine as America’s fifth most miserable city, a ranking based on such factors as tax rates, commute times, violent crime, unemployment and weather. The city’s sports fans, in particular, are notorious for their “lack of fraternal affection,” mercilessly turning on even their own teams and players when they underachieve, regardless of past performance. In the annals of “what have you done for me lately” lore, the last time any of the city’s four major professional sports (football, basketball, baseball and hockey) teams earned a championship was in 2008, putting a stop to a fifteen year drought. Rather than being “lovable losers,” the Philadelphia fanatics have become mavens of misery. How miserable is Philadelphia? In 1968, when he walked onto the field for the halftime show, jolly old Saint Nick was greeted by a chorus of boos and a fusillade of snowballs from Philadelphia Eagles football fans. That the city’s rabid sports fans would boo Santa should come as no surprise. Eagles fans also cheered when Dallas Cowboys receiver Michael Irvin lay injured and motionless on the turf, paralysis a real possibility. They assaulted…

AlbuquerqueBakeryFrenchRating: Excellent

La Quiche Parisienne Bistro – Albuquerque, New Mexican

Gil Garduno12:00 PM

Who can ever forget Fred the Baker, the haggard, perpetually exhausted Dunkin Donuts baker and his iconic lament, “time to make the donuts?” Every morning an annoying alarm clock would rouse Fred from his deep slumber and he would wearily utter his trademarked catch phrase as he prepared for the rigor of the day. For fifteen years—from 1982 to 1997—Fred the Baker let America know it was time to make the donuts, reminding them that while he was doing so, the guys who make the supermarket donuts were still in bed. The Fred the Baker commercials became ingrained in American pop culture, but they also had a ring of truth. Being a baker means rising very early and working during hours in which most people are sleeping. According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, “bakers work early mornings, late evenings, weekends, and holidays” and “the work can be stressful because bakers often work under strict deadlines and critical, time-sensitive baking requirements.” La Quiche Parisienne Bistro is an exemplar of every story you’ve ever heard about how hard bakers work. Master baker Bruno Barachin and his better half Sabine Pasco, the on-site pastry chef, put in the type of hours which…

BreakfastClosed in 2019Diners Drive-Ins and DivesFood Network Eats New MexicoGone But Not ForgottenNew MexicanNew MexicoRating: ExcellentSanta Fe

Tecolote Cafe – Santa Fe, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Gil Garduno6:35 PM

Everyone knows the most sagacious of all creatures in nature is the owl. The owl is to whom all other creatures go to get some of life’s most pondered questions answered–questions such as “how many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop?” After having posed the question to a cow, a fox and a turtle, a young boy decides to ask the wise owl. “Good question, let’s find out,” the owl retorts. “A One…A two-hoo…A three (crunch sound effect). Three!” It took three licks for the erudite owl to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie roll, prompting the boy to declare, “if there’s anything I can’t stand, it’s a smart owl.” Three is also the number of visits to New Mexico restaurants made in December, 2007 by Guy Fieri while filming episodes of Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives for the Food Network. Fieri was wise enough to make one of those visits to Santa Fe’s own owl, the famous and fabulous Tecolote Cafe. Tecolote is the Nahuatl (Aztec) word for “owl,” but founding proprietors Bill and Alice Jamison actually named their restaurant for an all-but-deserted Northern New Mexican village alongside…

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Amore Neapolitan Pizzeria – Albuquerque, New Mexico

Gil Garduno12:30 AM

Naples, Italy leaves nothing to chance, boasting of more than fifty official patron saints. Among the more well-known of the beatified intercessors to whom Neapolitan citizens petition are Saint Francis of Assisi, Saint Mary Magdalene, Saint John the Baptist and Saint Pascal Baylon (San Pasqual, if you will). This litany of saints is among the who’s who among Catholic saints. You might think one of these sanctified patrons would also serve as the official “mascot” of Naples, but that sacrosanct honor is reserved for someone almost antithetical to the saints. The official mascot of the city of Naples is a harlequin clown named Pulcinella. Perpetually hungry and nearly destitute, Pulcinella earned a reputation as a bungler with a rare joie d’ vivre, requiring only a slice of pizza and a jug of wine to make him happy. The character Pulcinella originated in a 17th century puppetry play. He is characterized by a long, hooked nose which he turns up at authority figures. Attired in white, up to and including his hat, Pulcinella is the embodiment of the street wise, crafty guy. In Naples, nicknacks representing this beloved Neapolitan character can be found virtually everywhere. It was only fitting that a…

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Cafe Bien – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Gil Garduno9:15 PM

My friend Hannah, a brilliant linguist who’s become rather expert in the etymology and evolution of languages, speech patterns and morphology would find it dismaying should she hear someone attribute the term “Romance language” to the seductive sweet nothings spoken by such onscreen Lotharios as Ricardo Montalban. With the mere utterance of “Corinthian leather,” Montalban could make women (and some men) swoon, but while his smooth intonations and thick, sophisticated accent may sound “romantic,” “Romance languages have nothing to do with love and romance. Romance languages (the R is always capitalized) are languages that developed out of the Latin used in the Roman Empire between the sixth and ninth centuries A.D.. By the beginning of the 21st century nearly one billion people claimed a Romance language as their mother tongue, 300 million people as a second language. The five most widely spoken Romance languages are Spanish (410 million), Portuguese (216 million), French (75 million), Italian (60 million), and Romanian (25 million). Romance languages still share several commonalities and a surprisingly high proportion of basic vocabulary. Though more a polyglot (if knowing cuss words in multiple languages qualifies me as such) than a linguist, my first inclination at hearing about Cafe…

AlbuquerqueClosed in 2020Dog FriendlyFrenchGone But Not Forgotten

La Crêpe Michel – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Gil Garduno1:53 AM

FROM THE LA CREPE MICHEL WEBSITE: We have decided to permanently close La Crepe Michel.  I want to thank everyone for making more than 30 years possible.  We will miss you all and we have wonderful memories that will last forever.  Again, thank you.  – Claudie and all the staff at crepe michel The crêpe is, at its essence, not much more than a very thin cooked pancake, but ask even the most accomplished chefs to relate their initial attempts at baking crêpes and you’ll be regaled with tales of exasperation, woe, despair and misery. Use too much water or milk and not enough fat and the crêpes will turn out elastic and tough. If your pan isn’t hot enough, the crêpes will stick to it; too hot and the crêpes turn out lacy. Roll them too tight and they’ll explode and scald your face… Or at least that was the experience of Dominicans trying to pass off as Cuban cigar rollers in a hilarious episode of Seinfeld. When the owners of the Magic Pan crêperie became incapacitated, Jerry had the “Cubans” fill in at the restaurant rolling crêpes. Not surprisingly, the “Cubans” rolled the crêpes cigar tight, causing the…

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Loving Vegan – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Gil Garduno9:22 PM

My adovada adoring amigo Ruben likened the irony to an episode of Seinfeld. Two weeks into his experiment with an ostensibly healthier vegan diet, he was craving sushi and needed his sushi-specific pangs of hunger sated. No sooner had we finished a very satisfying sushi soiree at Albuquerque’s only vegan sushi restaurant than our waitress apprised us the restaurant would be closing for good two days later. “Serenity now,” we cried, mimicking Frank Costanza when faced with a stressful situation. It just didn’t seem fair that we would make such a delicious discovery only to have plans for future meals dashed. Loving Vegan gave it the “old college try,” initially launching in June, 2012 on Coors Blvd before relocating in November, 2013 to a much more heavily trafficked Nob Hill location. In its relatively short life, Loving Vegan garnered a loyal following and a very prestigious honor. Within a year of opening, PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) named Loving Vegan the “top restaurant for vegan sushi” in the United States and Canada. The citation from PETA read: “Loving Vegan earned our top prize because it truly proves that any food can be made deliciously and healthfully without…

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Leilani’s Cafe – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Gil Garduno11:42 PM

Restaurants come and restaurant’s go. It’s not hard to tell when a bad restaurant is nearing its demise. The telltale signs practically scream at you. Service is indifferent in spite of (or maybe because of) only a handful of guests to look after. The food is uninspired, seemingly just something thrown together haphazardly. A pall of gloom and malaise seems to pervade the ambiance, hastening your meal so you can get out of there quickly. Such was the case when in August, 2015 I first visited the burger and fast food restaurant which formerly occupied a red, white and blue structure just west of Kirtland Air Force Base on Gibson. Needless to say, it wasn’t a restaurant about which I’d write, much less visit a second time. This is a tale of two restaurants at one location. My experience at the former is described above. It’s an experience validated by several Yelp and Zomato respondents. The latter is the complete antithesis of the former as I experienced it–as different in every way as one restaurant could be from another. The latter, sporting a the not-so-New Mexican name of Leilani’s is a family-owned-and operated gem. In terms of ambiance, it’s isn’t…

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Friends Of Gil (FOG) Dinner: A Great Time Had by All

Gil Garduno11:33 PM

“Laughter is brightest where food is best.” – Irish Proverb Hearty laughter, stimulating conversation and great food were the order of the evening on Friday, November 6th at 7PM when the Friends of Gil (FOG) got together at Papa Felipe’s for an evening of mirth, merriment and munching on some of the city’s best and most creative New Mexican food. Four new FOGs (including one delightful ruffian)–Dale, Shirley, Lea and Stephanie–fit right in with what has become a rather tight-knit cast of characters. In addition to breaking sopaipillas and tortillas, some of Albuquerque’s most passionate and knowledgeable foodies were seen oohing and aahing” at photos being passed around the table of our four-legged children. Something else we have in common, it appears, is the love of dogs of all breeds and sizes. Overheard were conversations centering around such diverse topics as anthropological linguistics, travel, photography and of course, food. Jen observed that the far northeast heights isn’t often an area of the city you’d associate with great New Mexican food. Papa Felipe’s changed a few minds and awoke several of us to the infinite possibilities of New Mexican standards that are “just a bit different.” Papa Felipe’s unique interpretations answered…

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Posa’s El Merendero – Santa Fe, New Mexico

Gil Garduno11:43 PM

When we phoned our friend Carlos to ask where the best tamales in Santa Fe were to be found, he waxed enthusiastic about a tamale factory and restaurant on Rodeo Road just west of Saint Francis. He told us the restaurant was once owned by a professional wrestler and is Santa Fe’s equivalent of Albuquerque’s legendary El Modelo. After we hung up with Carlos, neither my Kim nor I could remember the restaurant’s name or exact address. We’d both assumed the other one would remember. I seemed to recall the restaurant’s name being “El Mero Mero,” a name which made a lot of sense to me because it can translate from Spanish to “the main one,” “the top dog,” “the head honcho” or other terms of that ilk. Needless to say, we couldn’t find El Mero Mero. Because El Mero Mero didn’t work out, my second brilliant hypothesis was “El Maromero,” or “the somersaulter.” That name didn’t even make sense to me (much less to my brilliant better half), but considering the uniquely wacky names (not to mention costumes) used by Mexican luchadores, maybe El Maromero wasn’t that outlandish. After not being able to El Maromero, we turned into a…

AlbuquerqueAmericanBrunchClosed in 2020Diners Drive-Ins and DivesDog FriendlyFood Network Eats New MexicoGone But Not Forgotten

Standard Diner – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Gil Garduno12:15 AM

From the Standard Diner Facebook Page: It is with great sadness that Standard Diner will be closing its doors for good after dinner service on Monday, September 7th.  On Friday the 11th, our doors will reopen as The Range Cafe. While New Mexico is most assuredly the Land of Enchantment, most locals also accept that it’s also the “land of mañana” where things that can be put off until tomorrow usually are, where the pace of life is more relaxed and slower. George Adelo, Jr., an enterprising Pecos resident even coined (and copyrighted) a phrase to describe the New Mexican way: “Carpe Mañana”–Seize Tomorrow. The spirit of Carpe Mañana was certainly prevalent in the long-awaited, much-anticipated opening of the Standard Diner, a Matt DiGregory restaurant venture which in opening March 2nd, 2006, was nearly eight months behind its planned launch. If ever a restaurant has more than made up for lost time, it may be this one. DiGregory, a local restaurant impresario owns the Standard Diner with his brothers Chris, Vince and Jon. He also owns the very popular Range restaurants in Bernalillo and Albuquerque as well as the now defunct Rodeo Grill. The Brothers DiGregory couldn’t have found a…