Canvas Artistry – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

“Edible art” isn’t just some trite phrase pedantic food critics use when food has aesthetic values that delight our senses. Mankind has been been intrigued by the concept of food as art since the dawning of rational thinking. Prehistoric cave paintings such as those in Les Trois Frères in Ariège, in southern France, depict families gathering around the fire to share the foods they had prepared, an event made possible by the discovery of fire. Fire, it goes without saying, was also the catalyst behind men first wearing aprons emblazoned with “kiss the cook.” Moving past prehistoric taggers scrawling graffiti on cave walls, edible art became more urban when Egyptians painted food on the walls of the great pyramids (ostensibly to nourish the dearly departed who had transitioned to the afterlife). During the halcyon days of the Greek and Roman empires, the depiction of food took on a more realistic tone when glass bowls of fruit were painted to denote the delicacies enjoyed by the one-percenters of the day (and some of those paintings still hang on the walls of many a Midwestern grandmother’s home). The reverence with which mankind esteems food in art has expanded almost as quickly as…

Vinaigrette – Albuquerque, New Mexico

“People aren’t either wicked or noble.  They’re like chef salads With good things and bad things chopped and mixed together In a vinaigrette of confusion and conflict.” ~ Lemony Snicket, The Grim Grotto I’m not the type of guy who could write a tearful tell-all or confess some scurrilous detail to Oprah.  Nor do I ever get on Facebook and publish a litany of mundane minutia about my life.  However, in the spirit of “confession is good for the soul,” I’ve got a secret to divulge.  I’ve got a huge crush on Erin Wade.  It’s not the type of crush for which I’d leave my Kim, but the type of crush a geeky, gangling high school kid might have on a popular girl who’s way out of his league, the type of crush that would probably leave him tongue-tied if she were ever to talk with him.  The first time I saw Erin Wade live and in color at her restaurant in Santa Fe, my initial impression was “Wow!  She is stunning.  She’s got to be a model or a goddess.”  I didn’t know who she was until my dining companion informed me that she was the braintrust behind Vinaigrette.…

Laguna Burger (12th Street) – Albuquerque, New Mexico

“The best stories are like the best burgers: big, juicy, and messy.” ~A.D. Posey, American Author For men of my generation, a Big Mac was a rite of passage, a graduation from Happy Meal cheeseburgers to a real adult burger…an event akin to transitioning from training wheels to a ten speed bike.  We had grown up singing the jingle “two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions on a sesame seed bun” and finally got to experience one for ourselves.   I had assumed all parents would, when their sons had proven worthy, introduce them to the Big Mac.  You can imagine my surprise upon reading a 2016 Wall Street Journal report that only one in five adults between the ages of 18 and 34 has ever even tasted McDonald’s signature burger. That’s right!   Eighty percent of all millennials have never experienced a Big Mac!  Even more surprising, many of my generation–those of us who grew up on Big Macs– haven’t had one in decades (and I had thought it was only me). Millennials not only make better, more healthy food choices than youth of my generation, they’ve had the advantage of more and better alternatives.  Obviously they’re much…

K&I Diner – Albuquerque, New Mexico

In 1960, Albuquerque’s population reached 201,189, more than doubling the city’s tally from the 1950 census. The start of a new decade began an era of expansion, a construction boom in which the burgeoning city began experiencing unprecedented growth. A proliferation of shopping centers was built to serve new neighborhoods. Albuquerque was not yet overrun by horrendous, copycat chain restaurants.  Family owned and operated mom-and-pop dining establishments–like the K&I Diner–were (and still are) your best bet for a great meal. 1960 (March 2nd to be exact) was also the year in which Irene Warner opened Grandma’s K&I Diner (named for her daughter Kay Hess and herself) in the heart of Albuquerque’s industrial district in the far South Valley. She ran the eatery with her family for 39 years until her death at age 82 in 1999. The matronly Irene was a fixture at her restaurant, a kind and gentle woman who made everyone welcome at her restaurant home. With a pronounced Southern drawl, she and her family kept things lively, often addressing their faithful patrons by “honey” or “sugar.”  Kay passed away in 2018. The restaurant has undergone several ownership changes since Grandma Warner passed away, but other than some…

The Range – Bernalillo, New Mexico

The phoenix of ancient Egyptian mythology was a sacred firebird of beautiful red and gold plumage said to live for centuries. At the end of its life, the phoenix built itself a nest of cinnamon twigs which it then ignited. Both the phoenix and the nest burned fiercely and were reduced to ashes from which a new phoenix arose. Similarly, the Range Cafe in Bernalillo was claimed by a fiery conflagration only to rise up from the ashes to exceed its former glory to become one of the most popular restaurants in New Mexico. Like the phoenix, the Range is a rare breed–one of the few locally owned and operated (non-chain) restaurants which at any given time (make that, almost all the time) has diners lining up for a seat. That may be because the Range offers the “familiar” in serving comfort foods and local favorites and serves them in the profuse portion sizes American diners love. The original Range debuted in September, 1992 in Bernalillo’s main street, Camino Del Pueblo. The restaurant was an instant success, quickly becoming more than a local favorite. Not quite three years later (on May 30, 1995), the Range went up in smoke–a huge…

Rev’s BBQ – Albuquerque, New Mexico

You might think that the food truck industry is an ultra-competitive dog-eat-dog business in which purveyors aren’t very gracious when discussing fellow food truck operators. Considering how they often jockey for a limited number of spaces in heavily trafficked events and vie for consumer attention and dollars, you would think they’d denigrate their brethren.  In an October 4th interview on the fabulous What’s Up Abq Podcast, Michael “Mighty Mike” Mondragon dispelled that notion.  Mike couldn’t have been more benignant about Albuquerque’s food truck scene, calling it a “community.”   He expressed tremendous admiration for both the owners and the food of Tikka Spice and Wing It Up (review pending), among others. When asked “if you’re not eating your own barbecue, where do you go in town,”  Mike waxed poetic about his friend Manuel “Rev” Duran.  Mike appreciated that Manuel, who “who just started doing his trailer part-time because he’s a postal worker”…”has some real good barbecue” and “does it for the love.”  Ironically, just a few days prior to listening to that interview, my friend Bill Resnik had raved to me about Rev’s brisket, calling it “the best I’ve ever had.”  Over the years Bill and I have shared barbecue in Phoenix,…

The Feel Good – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

“Whoa! I feel good, I knew that I would, now I feel good, I knew that I would So good, so good, ’cause I got you So good, so good, ’cause I got you So good, so good, ’cause I got you.” ~James Brown The lyrics to the “Godfather of Soul’s” signature song aren’t etched on the windows or door of The Feel Good, but several other thematic aphorism are.  There’s Virginia Wolf’s quote, “One cannot think well, love well, sleep well, if one has not dined well.”  M.F.K. Fisher’s “Sharing food with another human being is an ultimate act that should not be indulged in lightly” is etched on the door while Alan D. Wolfelt’s sage “Food is symbolic of love when words are inadequate” occupies another window.  Maybe because it’s a shorter quote, James Beard’s “Food is our common ground.  A universal experience.” occupies a small window. One quote which perhaps should be etched on The Feel Good is San Francisco-based journalist Madison Park’s “Having a belly stuffed with comforting food can feel like a warm hug from the inside.”  In a 2010 article for CNN, Park explained why eating a lot feels so darn good.  You might…

Red Onion Lounge – Heber, Arizona

On 5 November 1975, a seven-man logging crew working in the Sitgreaves National Forest near Heber, Arizona experienced what has become the most documented UFO (UAP or unidentified aerial phenomena, if you prefer) sighting and abduction in history. As the crew was wrapping up for the day, they saw a bright light off to their right. When they approached, they espied a bright saucer-shaped UFO  (UAP) hovering about 20 feet over a clearing.  Travis Walton was the only one who got out of the truck to investigate.  He was quickly knocked to the ground by a bright, blue-green beam of light.  Five days and six hours later, Walton awoke on the outskirts of Heber. Not surprisingly, the veracity of the crew’s account has been called to question.  Initially skeptics outnumbered believers by a significant margin, despite multiple polygraph lie-detector tests the crew passed.  Theories abounded as to what “really” happened.  Among the most prevalent was a contention that the logging crew  was about to miss a November 10th deadline to finish the logging job, after which they would be docked 10 percent of the contract.  With no physical evidence available, we may never know exactly what happened on that November…

Gus’s Fried Chicken – Mesa, Arizona

As the crow flies, Nashville and Memphis are separated by about 210 miles.  You can get from one to the other of these two prominent Southern cities–that are probably best known for their signature sounds–in a speedy three hours.    Nashville sits on the north-central part of the Volunteer State.  It’s considered the cradle of country music.  Legendary pantheons of country music include the Grand Ole Opry House, the Country Music Hall of Fame and Museum and historic Ryman Auditorium.  Honky-tonks throughout the city feature live music as aspiring artists and song-writers compete to be noticed. Memphis, progenitor of the blues, soul and rock n’roll, borders the mighty Mississippi at Tennessee’s west flank.  Popular landmarks include the Rock n’ Soul Museum, Blues Hall of Fame and Elvis Presley’s Graceland.  Beale Street, “America’s most iconic street,” is home to B. B. King’s Blues Club and a number of other clubs which feature the blues, soul and rock n’roll.  No other state can legitimately claim to be birthplace of four distinct genres of music as Tennessee does.  If you’re an aficionado of country, blues, soul and rock n’ roll, there’s nowhere else you might aspire to be. It isn’t solely music for which Nashville…

The Local Brewhouse – Rio Rancho, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Before reading any further, the biggest take-away from this review is that the Local Brewhouse serves the best burger in Rio Rancho.  That’s not only what the marquee says.  It’s what City of Vision diners know.  My Kim and I, too.   “Service is horrible”  “The management has to train there employees.”  “Worst service ever! I can’t stress on how bad the service was.”  “Nice views. Lousy service and rude staff.”  “Service sucks. Waited 20mins between beers.”   Those are one-star reviews on Yelp for The Local Brewhouse in Rio Rancho.  At the extreme opposite are five star reviews extolling the service some Yelp reviewers found unacceptable: “Shout out to Rhiannon, our server for friendly, prompt, and efficient service.”  “Had a big gathering and they could not have been more accommodating! Super friendly.”  “The service is the best in the state.”  “5 stars all the way. Great service. Great food. Great beer.” For better or worse, many of us–90% according to Infographics read online reviews before visiting a business and 88% of us trust  those online reviews.  Our quandary as consumers is learning to filter the outliers–the reviewers who accord one-star ratings on Yelp and TripAdvisor for the very same things…

Kickstand Cafe – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

In 2016, The Plough Hotel in North Canterbury, New Zealand banned Lycra-clad customers in an attempt to remove any “unsightly bumps and bulges.”  The hotel owner declared Lycra “unsuitable,” explaining “We get a nice group of customers out here, some elderly folk. When you’re trying to concentrate on your breakfast you just want to see the sausages on your plate.” Then as if expecting a confrontation from the lumpy, bumpy bikers, he issued a challenge: “If there’s hordes of cyclists outside threatening to bash us with their bike pumps we can always barricade ourselves in, we’ve got a bit of food and drink here so we should be able to outlast them.” Lycra bike wear may not be de rigueur at Albuquerque’s Kickstand Cafe, but you just might feel overdressed if you didn’t squeeze into the form-fitting attire for a visit to the Alameda cafe.  And surprise, surprise, “elderly folk” whom the prudish New Zealand hotel owner tried to shield from “sausages” and other shapes and contours that leave little to the imagination were well represented among the guests wearing second-skin-apparel.  It didn’t appear any guests perceived bike shorts to be ribald regalia.  Nor did we notice any ogling or lusty…