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Danny’s Place – Carlsbad, New Mexico

Gil GardunoMarch 9, 2018April 5, 202611:59 PM

For some reason, national print and online publications and even the Food Network can’t seem to fathom that the Land of Enchantment has outstanding cuisine outside the shining pinnacles of Santa Fe and Albuquerque. To some extent the media may be justified in perceiving the City Different and Duke City as offering the quintessence of what makes New Mexico a culinary Mecca. Obviously, Santa Fe and Albuquerque enthrall hungry visitors armed with voracious appetites (especially for our incendiary red and green chile), but to discount the cuisine at other cities throughout our diverse state is just plain lazy. Santa Fe and Albuquerque do not have exclusivity when it comes to extraordinary restaurants and cuisine. Phenomenal eateries and cuisine can be found throughout the Land of Enchantment. When it comes to naming New Mexico’s best restaurants and best cuisine, the mantra embraced by national media seems to be “round up the usual suspects.” Invariably, a short list of “anointed” restaurants from Santa Fe and Albuquerque is repeated ad-nauseam whenever a “best this” or “best that” list is compiled. The list of anointed restaurants is short, exclusive and predictable. It’s hard to break into the list if a restaurant isn’t from Santa…

American Burgers New Mexico Rating: Excellent

Big D’s Downtown Dive – Roswell, New Mexico

Gil GardunoMarch 9, 2018March 31, 202612:01 AM

During a March, 2012 trip to Roswell, New Mexico President Barack Obama made the following opening remarks to his speech. “We had landed in Roswell. I announced to people when I landed that I had come in peace. (Laughter) Let me tell you – there are more nine and ten year old boys around the country when I meet them – they ask me, “Have you been to Roswell and is it true what they say? And I tell them, ‘If I told you I would have to kill you.’ So their eyes get all big…so…we’re going to keep our secrets here.” To many, his comment was just an innocent joke, but to passionate conspiracy theorists, Obama’s remarks were further proof of a government cover-up of the extraterrestrial crash landing which supposedly occurred outside Roswell in 1947. Ufologists like to point out that in the seventy years since that extraterrestrial crash, there has been a quantum leap in technology, a leap unprecedented in all human history. Believers will tell you humankind had help in making those advances and that the help came in the form of technology found in the downed alien spacecraft recovered in a pasture northwest of Roswell.…

Albuquerque Closed in 2018 Gone But Not Forgotten Italian New Mexico

Il Bosco – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Gil GardunoMarch 4, 2018September 21, 20188:35 AM

The customer in the Italian restaurant was so pleased that he asked to speak to the chef. The owner proudly led him into the kitchen and introduced him to the chef. “Your veal parmigiana was superb,” the customer said. “I just spent a month in Italy, and yours is better than any I ever had over there.” “Naturally,” the chef said. “Over there, they use domestic cheese. Ours is imported.” While we were perusing the menu at Il Bosco, my Kim noticed polpette on the menu and asked me what polpette was. As usual, she got more than what she bargained for. “Polpette,” I joked “is the Italian word for meatballs…unless you’re in Montreal.” “What the heck are you talking about,” she asked. I explained that in 2013, Quebec’s language police cited an Italian restaurant for using Italian names for Italian dishes on the menu instead of their French equivalents. (In French, polpette would be called “boulettes de viande.” ) “That’s absolutely ridiculous,” she vented. “America may go overboard with its political correctness, but there’s no way any state or city could get away with bashing multi-culturalism. It would be like Albuquerque declaring its official city language to be Spanish…

Albuquerque American Burgers Closed in 2018 Dog Friendly Gone But Not Forgotten New Mexico Pizza

Groundstone – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Gil GardunoFebruary 21, 2018October 11, 201811:59 PM

Kids say the darnedest things. That was the premise of popular radio and television shows hosted by Art Linkletter from the mid 1940s through 1969. Linkletter would engage children (usually aged three to eight) in casual conversation. Humor–often laced with double entendre–would often ensue out of the children’s naive and silly responses. Once, for example, he asked a little girl to spell Art, his name. She proceeded to spell the host’s name R-A-T. Most parents can relate to the unpredictable nature of what their children say. More often than not, it resonates with child-like innocence, but every once in a while an utterly unintentional and unfiltered zinger sneaks out that will make parents want to slink away and hide. When her son Caleb was four years old, Kimber Scott, an Albuquerque resident and one of my very favorite people, discovered that he was curious about everything his world had to offer. He was fascinated by all the letters, numbers and colors that whizzed by him. Now nine, he’s always asked a lot of questions and has never shied away from expressing himself. Sometimes he speaks with the insightful precociousness of an older child and sometimes with the naivete of innocence,…

Barbecue Closed in 2019 Gone But Not Forgotten New Mexico Rio Rancho

Stack House BBQ – Rio Rancho, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Gil GardunoFebruary 18, 2018March 31, 202612:56 PM

One of my Psychology professors cautioned students about the danger of “amateur diagnosis,” the practice of assigning specific psychoses and neuroses to people we meet solely on the basis of our cursory familiarity with the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. He explained that it often takes an experienced practicing psychiatrist several sessions to arrive at a diagnosis and many more sessions before treatment proves effective. His point–a little knowledge can be dangerous–applies in virtually every arena of knowledge in practicum. Reflecting back on all the times my rudimentary conclusions were ultimately proven incorrect, it’s a point well driven. When my friends Larry “the professor with the perspicacious palate” McGoldrick, Dazzling Deanell and Beauteous Barb decided to pursue Kansas City Barbecue Society (KCBS) certification, the words of my Psychology professor resonated in my memory. Sure, we’d all been eating barbecue most of our lives, but how much did we really know about passing judgement on barbecue? Not much, it turned out. Over the course of several hours, our KCBS instructor imparted sage knowledge and proven techniques to help us understand thee three most important and very nuanced elements of competitive judging: taste, texture and appearance. Much like getting a…

Albuquerque Closed in 2023 Donuts Gone But Not Forgotten

Rebel Donut – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Gil GardunoFebruary 18, 2018June 16, 202312:04 AM

Many years ago if someone proposed a wager of “dollars to donuts,” you might have been well advised to take it. The phrase “dollars to donuts” essentially meant the person proposing the wager thought he or she had a sure thing, that he or she was willing to to risk a dollar to win a dollar’s worth of donuts. Donuts weren’t worth much at the time (and they weren’t very good either) so winning a bet might result in being paid off by a baker’s dozen or so donuts. Today, if someone offers a “dollars to donuts” wager, the counter to a five dollar bet might be two donuts and the donuts would likely be terrific. Visit a donut shop today and sticker shock might set in. Donuts aren’t cheap anymore, not that it stops Americans from spending our dollars for donuts to the tune of about $3.6 billion dollars per year. Americans consume some ten billion donuts a year. That’s 33 donuts per man, woman and child per year. The demographic which loves donuts most is middle-income men ages 25 to 49 (now you know what accounts for the “middle-age spread”). As with burgers, donuts are one of those…

Albuquerque Dog Friendly New Mexico Pizza Rating: N/R (Not Rated)

PK’s Restaurant & Bar – Albuquerque, New Mexico

Gil GardunoFebruary 17, 2018April 6, 20265:41 PM

When the Air Force notified me I was being reassigned to Royal Air Force (RAF) Fairford, friends who had been stationed in England warned me, “you can forget all about your favorite sports for three years. Instead of football, basketball and baseball, the only “sports” televised in England are snooker, darts and soccer.” “Snooker?,” I asked. “Isn’t that a mushy term of endearment similar to darling?” “No,” one responded, “that’s snookums. Snooker is a type of billiards game, but not nearly as exciting.” “Darts?” “Yep, there are competitive darts leagues all over England and their matches are televised.” “Well, at least soccer has been called the beautiful game, so I’ll probably become a soccer fan,” I retorted. To paraphrase Rodney Dangerfield, I went to a fight and a soccer game broke out. My live introduction to the beautiful game may actually have demonstrated the fluidity and constancy of motion for which soccer is known. There probably were displays of physics-defying, ball-bending skills brilliantly executed by lithe athletes. Perhaps there were even exhibitions of raw, naked power. I missed it all. Back then, when you attended a “football” game in England, you risked life and limb. Soccer hooligans were the scourge…

Albuquerque American Closed in 2021 Dog Friendly Gone But Not Forgotten New Mexico

Cafe Laurel – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Gil GardunoFebruary 11, 2018April 11, 20218:46 PM

“To anyone else,” my Kim joked “the name Café Laurel is just a cute name probably chosen because the owners like laurel leaves. To you the name has to mean something.” She reminded me of the hours I spent dissecting former President Bill Clinton’s statement “It depends upon what the meaning of the word “is” is.” “You’re too literal. You don’t just want to know what words mean. You need to know why they’re used.” “But,” I retorted “laurel leaves aren’t just a leafy plant. Julius Caesar and Napoleon Bonaparte fashioned “crowns” out of laurel leaves, probably,” I surmised “because laurel leaves were more comfortable than the heavy, bejeweled metallic crowns that may have been the reason for the adage “uneasy lies the head that wears the crown.” She rolled her eyes. “Sure,” I argued “the owners of Café Laurel may have had nothing more in mind when naming their restaurant than they liked the laurel plant, but the implication of the name Laurel means a lot more.” “How did you arrive at that conclusion,” she asked. I explained that “in ancient Greece and Rome, laurel leaves were used to fashion wreaths that were presented to those achieving the highest…

Albuquerque Closed in 2018 Gone But Not Forgotten Rating: Excellent

Philly’s N Fries – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED: May 18, 2018)

Gil GardunoFebruary 9, 2018March 31, 202611:36 AM

“But it’s a dry heat.” You’ve probably seen that slogan emblazoned on tee-shirts depicting a sun bleached skeletal figure lying prostrate mere feet from a thirst-slaking, life-giving oasis. You’ve gratefully expressed that sentiment every time Channel 13’s manic meteorologist Mark Ronchetti (or better yet, the pulchritudinous Kristen Currie) predicts yet another day of 90 degree plus weather as you rationalize that you could be in one of the South’s sweltering, sauna-like cities with temperatures comparable to our Duke City, but with 80 percent humidity. You may even have muttered that phrase while scalding your feet as you scurry to a swimming pool the temperature of bath water. For years, Albuquerque spelled relief from the oppressive heat “I-T-S-A” as in Itsa Italian Ice, a veritable oasis of cool refreshment on scalding New Mexico summer days. Itsa was situated in a Lilliputian locale at Lomas and Washington, offering drive-up service for cavalcades of parched motorists. The specialty at Itsa was a veritable phalanx of Italian ices, a flavor or more for each color on the ultraviolet spectrum. Unlike snow cones and other ice desserts, all ingredients–typically water, sugar and flavoring–used in making Italian Ice are blended together prior to being frozen. Italian…

Albuquerque Closed in 2018 Gone But Not Forgotten Mediterranean New Mexico

Bayti Mediterranean Delicacies – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Gil GardunoFebruary 6, 2018October 5, 20256:00 PM

“Ashlan Wa Sahlan” (Welcome) “Sahteyn” (Twice Your Health, Bon Apetit) “t’faddalou” (Welcome to the Table, Dinner is Served) How can you not love a culture in which there are numerous beautiful expressions associated with hospitality and with families welcoming guests to join them for a great meal? When it comes to warmth and hospitality, few cultures embody it so richly and genuinely as the Lebanese. Similarly, when it comes to utterly delicious food prepared with love and served in generous portions, the Lebanese culture may be unequaled. One of the most treasured blessings of having grown up in the small mountain community of Peñasco was sharing many meals with first-, second- and third-generation expatriates from the beautiful country of Lebanon. The wonderful SBS Website, an exemplar of culturally-relevant Australian media content explains “Lebanese hosts will never believe you don’t have just a bit more room for something utterly delicious that’s been prepared with love. In a Lebanese household, food is life and sharing it is one of the great joys of being alive. Even for simple dinners at home, there are a variety of dishes on the table, the meal starting with small portions known as mezza, which centre around…

Dog Friendly New Mexico Santa Fe Spanish Tapas

El Farol – Santa Fe, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Gil GardunoFebruary 3, 2018November 12, 20254:34 PM

For over a quarter century, the most popular section in New Mexico Magazine (the nation’s oldest state magazine, by the way) has been a humorous column entitled “One of Our Fifty is Missing.” The column features anecdotes submitted by readers worldwide recounting their experiences with fellow American citizens and ill-informed bureaucrats who don’t realize that New Mexico is part of the United States. Some travelers from other states actually believe they’re leaving their nation’s borders when they cross into New Mexico. Others think they need a passport to visit (not that they’d visit considering they’re wary of drinking our water.) Merchants and banks throughout America have been known to reject as “foreign credit cards” American Express and Visa cards issued by New Mexico banking institutions. Sometimes you have to wonder if “one of our fifty is missing” applies also to American History textbooks. As an unabashedly proud New Mexican of Spanish descent, I always wondered why public schools taught impressionable students that America’s history was the exclusive domain of the thirteen colonies. You would think this great country’s history began when the pilgrims descended on Plymouth Rock. Seemingly unbeknownst to history books was all the history transpiring across the Land…